Ssssh... Trigger Warning

[Triana]

19. It doesn't take away from the subject of physical abuse at all...

...it's usually part of it ie: where and how it begins - verbal and emotional abuse often (though not always) escalates to physical. Even if or when it doesn't, it's VERY damaging. I put up with it for years in various relationships. Why? Maybe self-esteem - and maybe that was from growing up in an abusive home where my mom was battered and abused. Abuse destroys families. Not just the adults involved but the kids too - it destroys them emotionally. They blame themselves, and grow up not even knowing what a normal, loving relationship looks like. It's a serious problem for all involved. And whether it's physical or emotional and verbal (and financial, usually), it's seriously damaging.

One of the *best* books I've ever read about verbal abuse is Patricia Evans' "Verbal Abuse: How to Recognize it and How to Respond". It's a MUST-READ for those who are suffering verbal/emotional abuse and who need clarity about what they're experiencing. Because it's so damn invisible since it's not physical. No one will tell you what it is. You just know you are not happy, are constantly being hurt, not being respected and are being convinced that it's "all your fault" and that you're "too sensitive". I've seen (and been) independent women, CEOs even, being convinced by their abusive others that they are inept, stupid, and can't do anything right. Even the laundry. Nothing. Their spirits are broken, and they blame themselves - because that's who the abusers tell them is at fault. Since they're not being physically battered, they figure it must be their fault and/or they're "too sensitive". Not so though. Far from it.

Abuse is abuse. Physical, emotional/verbal or financial. It's abuse. Learning to recognize it is hard for some and maybe even most people. That's why I got the book. And I called it what it was. He didn't like it. Tough. It's abuse.