General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: The latent sexism of the male marriage proposal [View all]KitSileya
(4,035 posts)or which one does the proposal if they do, it is a subject that should be discussed between them beforehand. To spring it on your partner blind, and worse, to surprise your partner in public with an elaborate proposal, is an awful thing. It puts the proposee on the spot in such a way that is painful to watch or hear about. How can you say no to your partner, or even maybe, if he or she has arranged an elaborate proposal in public, often involving your family and friends, or at least the help of strangers? That is enormous pressure.
I am reminded of the proposal of one guy, who had arranged with a tv host to stage a fake interview with his girlfriend. She thought that she had been invited on the show to talk about her volunteer work, which she was passionately engaged in, and for which was incredibly excited to get increased visibility. She worked with her boyfriend for days on what she would say, and had even practiced in the car on the way to the studio. Then, before she finishes even the first sentence, the host interrupts her, and tell her that she was actually brought on the show for something else, and then her boyfriend proposes to her on live tv. They even laughed over how much she had prepared for the interview!
No, if you have ascertained that your SO wants or is ok with a proposal, as well as the manner of it, then go ahead. DO the most public proposal you can imagine. But don't do it without being 100% certain that your boyfriend or girlfriend will be ok with it.