‘Twas the night before Donald, when all through the land
The Donald was boasting, saying, “It’ll be grand!”
The Democrats hung on the scaffold with care
In the hopes that Saint Vladimir would not be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
With climate denial claims forced in their heads.
And Mama all locked in her chastity belt
‘Cause she turned the Donald down, that’s how she felt.
Then out at the Capitol rose such a clatter
We peered through our cell bars to see what’s the matter
Away to the window we clunked with our chains
To see if some part of our freedom remains
A Congress who’ll soon vote our voting rights down
Was laughing and cackling like Bozo the clown.
Then what, to my wondering eyes should appear
But Elizabeth Warren, to say “we’re still here!”
She said, “We’re still short in the Senate, it’s true,
“But Republicans made up some nonsense they’ll rue!”
When Graham and Collins and Paul and McCain
All notice the rest of their Party’s insane
It’s time to call Baldwin and Harris and Hassan
To tell other Democrats, “seatbelts, please fasten!”
Go talk on the talk shows, have meets at the malls,
Magazine interviews, call-in show calls!
I will not sit by while my fondest hopes drown
I will not take Texas Rick Oops lying down!
I swear that I heard it, it’s not just a line
I swear I saw Democrats growing a spine!
And sure, they would need it for later this week
The smell out of Congress is starting to reek.
But some of our opposition’s still loyal
And some of their blood is starting to boil
When Tillerson puts us in some kind of State
And Sessions has civil rights burned in a crate
And learning to read is a priv’lege they say
Except for those kids who are willing to pay,
It looks like America’s mouth met its foot
Republicans, please help us out and stay put!
But then came McConnell, his mouth in a sneer,
And said, “shut up, you Libbruls, ‘cause I’m in charge here!”
“No more black Presidents!” gritting his teeth
His chin wattles trembling in anger beneath.
He had a long face and he looked like a turtle
Uncomfortable as if constrained by his girdle
But firm in expecting what damage he’d do
Majority leader, if only by two.
A squint of his eyes, a snort of his nose
Soon made it clear: too late! Anything goes!
Trump showed up with Turtle and Ryan and Pence,
Said, “OK, you people, I’ll end the suspense!
“You get fracking and Putin, no health care, no rights,
“And so says the Donald, so to all: sleepless nights!”
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