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Demeter

(85,373 posts)
29. In Memorium: Redstone of DU posted this annually
Tue Dec 24, 2013, 10:37 PM
Dec 2013

To the lovelorn, and the lost, and the suffering, and the lonely during this holiday season, listen to me now:

Although you may feel that you have nothing, yet trust me that you do have something, and keep that thought in your heart to cheer you through these days and the days to come.

Whatever your situation, you still have faith. Faith not in the religious sense, rather in the confidence that the characteristics of the good that you possess, whether it be empathy for others, a commitment to better the world, or just the fact that you've made another person's life a little bit better by being there; this faith can sustain you.

And yet more important, you have hope, and hope will never abandon you if you allow it to live in your heart. Hope will sustain you through the dark days and years, and will reward you in the end for keeping it quietly within you. Have hope, and you will persevere. Have hope, and your perseverance will be its own reward. No matter the final outcome, you will be the better for having persevered; the struggle contains its own nobility and worth.

Charity, much like faith and hope, rewards and honors both the giver and the recipient. If you feel that your life is not as it should be, do please sacrifice just one day to volunteer in a soup kitchen. The gratitude expressed by those who are genuinely less fortunate than you, unless you are of granite heart, will provide an invaluable lesson in perspective.

And if you are so unfortunate that you find yourself in the necessity of being a client at a soup kitchen, note the generosity of the volunteers who do not go to work there for any profit to themselves, but rather have a genuine desire to make some small part of your life better, for only one simple reason: Because they care. Make a vow then if you will, that when your station in life rises above its current level, that you will pass their generosity along to others who may then be where you were today, there in that soup kitchen.

Faith and hope are all, and charity is its own reward.

If you wonder why I write this tonight, it's this: Whoever you are, I have been you.

I have known poverty. I remember the taste of Government Surplus food. I have known the shame of walking to school in the morning, knowing that my mended clothes would be noticed and remarked upon. I have known adult poverty as well, hoping that the fifty dollars I squirreled away for my son's Christmas presents would be enough that he'd be happy on Christmas morning.

I have worked the crappy, dead-end jobs; driven the taxi, endured the 100-degree temperature while nailing the shingles to the roof, sweated in the cardboard-box factory for little wages and less respect.

I have know pain and sickness, being at the very brink of death at the ages of fourteen, nineteen, and again at twenty-four; each time with the calm acceptance of the inevitable followed by the amazement of survival. To this day, my first awareness each morning upon awakening, and my last awareness each night upon going to sleep, is of pain. And that will never change. Ever.

I have known heartache, losing loved ones far too early, surviving an inadvisable marriage to a woman afflicted with mental illnesses which she would not even acknowledge, much less seek treatment for, and bore the brunt every day of her rage and incapacity for rational thought. I took the beating for over four years, for the sake of my son, and went through a hideous divorce that depleted every financial resource I had built, including every cent of my retirement account, to ensure that my son would not have to suffer his mother's madness.

I tell you this not to ask for sympathy, because I deserve none. I have a wonderful life now, and nothing to complain about. I am, truly, one of the fortunate ones, and not a single day passes that I do not remind myself of that. Rather, I tell you these true stories so you may understand that it's true when I say, I have been you.

But I had faith.

I never lost hope.

And on those Thanksgiving and Christmas days when I was alone and missing my son and my other family, I worked at the soup kitchen, and returned home more content than I would have been if I had spent the day in self-pity.

So listen to me, please because I've been where you are: Have faith. Do not give up hope.

Yell for help if you need to, because depression is not anything to be ashamed of; if your knee hurt, you'd go to the knee doctor, wouldn't you? So if your mind is in pain, visit someone who knows about helping people's minds feel better. Please.

And, in the end, no matter how lonely you may feel, remember this: Because you are a DUer, you are never alone.

You're one of us.

Your participation makes you a part of this wonderful community, and somebody will be here for you whenever you need someone. Trust me on this. I have not the slightest doubt that, were I in need, even the DUers with whom I have had the most bitter disagreements would rush to my aid. I believe this. I do.

If even one of you finds even a small comfort from this post, I will consider the words to have been well worth writing.

Do not lose faith. Have hope. Be happy.

That's my holiday wish for all.

Redstone
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In Memorium: Redstone of DU posted this annually Demeter Dec 2013 #29
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