Revisiting Boundaries to sort self out after job loss

[TigressDem]

20. Just paying it back and forward. Others have been there for me.

Telling yourself the world would be fine without you or you without the world, that you are a lost cause....you might not think of as being mean.
Still is an attitude you wouldn't force on another person. It is a unique aspect of depression that this thought makes sense to us.

I was too afraid to do time on the crises line, but when someone crosses my path, I share what I know and have been talked off the cliff and done the same for others.

You seem to be stuck in a loop of depression and anger that is reinforced by your physical ailments and past and current injustice.

I know that the current situation in the US and World is ripping apart mental health for many. Myself included.

Some ideas and take what you like, leave the rest.

First Call For Help - https://firstcall211.net/
This is United Way's listing of many types of help available beyond your standard health care benefits.
They pull together lists of all kinds of non-profit services by state/local area.

When my Mom died it was because her arthritis medication created multiple ulcers in her stomach during the year she was on it and she bled to death internally.

In the hospital, they gave her Malox to coat her stomach when they gave her the meds. They told her about it, but not my sister who was the caregiver. My Mom had diabetes so did not feel the pain until it was too late.

SO here is a thought, is there any possibility of taking some OTC that coats your stomach and protects it from the pain meds?
My Dad swore by butter milk, I don't know if they even make it any more; but I could never drink it myself.
It isn't a full solution, but it may decrease the active irritation and give your stomach some time to heal.

Most insurance does cover ulcer treatment if it's a peptic one. (If it doesn't heal on it's own, that might be next step)
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/peptic-ulcer/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20354229

For your shoulder, can you rig up a scarf as a sling and maybe wrap something through it around your body, like a cloth belt or ace bandage to keep it relaxed and moving less when you cough? It will still move, but it won't have the full weight of your arm to add to the momentum.


THOSE are things you might be able to do and/or reach out to get small assistance to make things just a little better.

Progress not perfection.

ANY little thing you can accomplish will give you some relief and a sense of personal empowerment in the midst of this shit storm we are all sailing through.


THE reason I am trying to focus on these boundaries and such is to make sure I AM NOT adding to my own pain.
To make sure I AM standing up for me without kicking dirt in everyone else's face.

I used to be able to do it much better. But with age I'm not as quick on the draw as I once was and my temper is closer to the top.

I need to re-cultivate the wisdom to shut my mouth and THINK IT THROUGH before spouting off sometimes.


FUNNY thing about the job.

I told my temp agency that IF the contract ended for the reason I think it did, then THEY made a mistake. I had a bad day, a moment of self doubt and their reaction was over the top. I get it. My manager was stressed from more angles than I was.

I offered them ONE chance to hire me back. As a person creating Knowledge Base and Training Program materials that actually are needed to do the job, while off the phone so they have it SOONER rather than later. Because I can get another job, but THEY can't get another ME. It sounds a bit egotistical, but they spent almost 2 months pumping knowledge into my brain and it's a waste of that effort if they don't get what they need out of it.

Thing is, that makes me feel I have done my due diligence. Offered to be understanding and move forward to get the job done. But if they say, "No" it's on them, not me. For both parties it is actually the easiest solution.

BUT more importantly, it means I DO NOT ACCEPT their dismissal as all my fault. I know what I did that contributed to it and I can learn from it. But it really was an over reaction on their part.

No matter what happens, I know who I am and I make no apologies for that, only understand and accept that I make mistakes like anyone else and need to own up to them and make it right.

IF I DIDN'T draw that line in the sand, I could spiral down and believe every stupid thing I've ever told myself for years and years and pile on all the things others have said as well. JUST NOT WORTH IT to get that temporary satisfaction of riding the anger. Which is what I used to push me up out of depression for many years.


I'm always curious when I meet someone during a low point to see however they find a way out of it.

I've been in self help groups over many years and it is surprising how someone will say something and 5 different people find 5 different ways of making it their own and get something out of it.

I've been to therapy too and sometimes I think I got more out of the groups, truth be told. BUT one common thread was that for 1 hour a week, I took the time to take care of me and it helped me get my thinking in line with healthy options and the support of the group or even the therapist helped me feel I was not alone trying to face it.

OH another confession. I've also been trying to get my space more organized and due to the way we learned to clean when I grew up... visualize MUSICAL CHAIRS with the person who loses gets to CLEAN and everyone else gets to complain how THEY ALWAYS clean, now it's YOUR turn when you lose....

So my sister and my BFF are people I call when I need to do major cleaning because being "alone" while I am cleaning depresses me.

My sister and I took a bunch of my clean clothes and some large blankets to the laundry. While I used the big washers to get the blankets cleaned, I sorted my clean laundry and labeled the boxes I brought so I could take them home and try to get at least warm and cold items together so I can change my seasons a bit. I still have more to do, but it got me started.

Yesterday I talked on the phone with my BFF (earbuds in so my hands were free) and cleared out more clothes and kitchen items too. I kind of get around my rebel that way. It's a mind game. Instead of doing what I "should" be doing (A) I do (B) instead. It still needs to be done, but it isn't (A) so it short circuits my own rebellion against myself.

I still have those clean clothes in my car and getting them inside requires I do the other work to make space. I'm about 1/2 way to my actual goal of being able to switch my seasonal clothes back and forth easily instead of living out of laundry baskets, unable to access my clothes that are in the drawers and closet.

When I did warehouse work it didn't matter. Running around all day in lightweight clothes and adding layers to go home was fine.

Now that I've gone back to working at a desk, I need proper clothing for the seasons to look the part of someone with a brain inside my head.

BUT the point of this is..... when whatever you are doing depresses the he** out of you, share the burden of the effort with someone and the joy of the success as well. Your burdens are cut in half and your joy doubled.

Positive thoughts for your best results coming to you in a way that warms your heart and eases your mind.

Hugs,

Tigress