Bereavement

niyad

(113,049 posts)

25. PLEASE remember to be kind and gentle and loving with yourself. You have

Mon Sep 19, 2022, 02:56 PM

Sep 2022

nothing to feel guilty about. You did absolutely everything you could. Have been the carer for several as they crossed, so I know.

One thing I am noticing in your post is that you seem to have had no respite help. If that is the case, my first statement goes 100 times. You need time to grieve, time to recover, time to heal. The stats for caregivers, especially sole family members, is depressing.

How you deal with the loss is completely up to you. Pay no attention to anybody who tells you how you SHOULD be feeling or acting.

And know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as much as you need.

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Lost my mom on Saturday. [View all] forgotmylogin Sep 2022 OP

Please take care of yourself. My mom died over 30 years ago, I still suffer guilt sometimes Walleye Sep 2022 #1

My sympathy on the loss of your Mom. May every good livetohike Sep 2022 #2

You Did A Remarkable Job leftieNanner Sep 2022 #3

My condolences on your loss. CentralMass Sep 2022 #4

Everyone that cares feels like roody Sep 2022 #5

I'm very sorry for your loss. brer cat Sep 2022 #6

I am sorry for your loss but do not beat up yourself. Sounds to me as if you did your best under LoisB Sep 2022 #7

You did well IbogaProject Sep 2022 #8

The funeral home did warn me about the SS check. forgotmylogin Sep 2022 #29

That needs to be fixed IbogaProject Sep 2022 #33

I think you did a wonderful job. You kept her pain free as she negotiated her own passing. MLAA Sep 2022 #9

Be gentle with your self. Wishing comfort and peace to you mahina Sep 2022 #10

I am sorry. murielm99 Sep 2022 #11

So sorry ❤️ littlemissmartypants Sep 2022 #12

Guilty? No my dear!! Tadpole Raisin Sep 2022 #13

I will say the hospice logistics were on point. forgotmylogin Sep 2022 #30

That's wonderful! You had a good team and that is everything Tadpole Raisin Sep 2022 #34

Deepest condolences SheltieLover Sep 2022 #14

please, please relieve your guilt Skittles Sep 2022 #15

It sounds DownriverDem Sep 2022 #16

So sorry for your loss, forgotmylogin. ancianita Sep 2022 #17

End-of-life care is always followed by regret nuxvomica Sep 2022 #18

I, too, had to make the decision about hospice for my mother. There are no easy answers and constant alwaysinasnit Sep 2022 #19

As a former hospice nurse I must say to you Be KIND to yourself. She wouldn't want it flying_wahini Sep 2022 #20

My condolences to you and my sense is that you are a remarkable caretaker, person erronis Sep 2022 #21

Losing your mother is tough Warpy Sep 2022 #22

i think you're leaning into the grief just the way you should. barbtries Sep 2022 #23

I hope so, my cousin was so right about the gobstopper metaphor. forgotmylogin Sep 2022 #31

It sounds like you did a great job and I'm sure your mom appreciated all your care and concern. zuul Sep 2022 #24

PLEASE remember to be kind and gentle and loving with yourself. You have niyad Sep 2022 #25

My god, cilla4progress Sep 2022 #26

Dear friend, you have no cause to feel guilty. You gave your mother the best care anyone could japple Sep 2022 #27

Peace to you. Know that she is at rest and pain-free at last. Be gentle & kind to yourself. Hekate Sep 2022 #28

Thank you to everyone who has replied! forgotmylogin Sep 2022 #32

I hope you quickly realize that none of us is perfect... it's being human... and you'll toss the Karadeniz Sep 2022 #35