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Things are changing fast as I die by inches. Today my voice is hoarse

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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:23 PM
Original message
Things are changing fast as I die by inches. Today my voice is hoarse
Every day when I wake up, I can feel that the cancer has grown a little bit. A few days ago, I noticed that swallowing was getting harder: more of my tongue was paralyzed. Then a new sore spot appeared on the right lateral side of my tongue, and a few small hard pearls of bad tissue under the right-side tip. The underside of my chin is hurting now, and down my neck I can feel a hard, intractable mass. A lymph node under my right arm is the size of a small grape; when did that happen? I noticed it yesterday during that self-inventory I find myself doing every night.

Today I woke up with a hoarse, husky voice--inflammation, if I am lucky.

I didn't expect it to go this fast.

Tucker
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. ...
:hug:
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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
2. vibes.
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. Ohhhhhh.....
I am so sorry.
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:42 PM
Response to Original message
4. A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming
to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted! http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/18aparable.html
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MiddleFingerMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #4
10. !!!
.
.
.
:thumbsup: BIGTIME :thumbsup:
.
.
.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #4
14. That's been me since 2002 when I had my first bout with cancer
Edited on Mon Sep-05-11 10:58 PM by AlienGirl
I bought nearly a decade of crazy adventure, love and loss, a Real Job, hilarious moments with my kids, frustration at unpaid bills, and the opportnity to make a difference wherever I could and however I could. And sharing it all with my closest friend UncleSepp, with whom I am drinking sake right now. (He and his mother are my medical proxies, and Sepp quit his job and moved from Seattle to Florida to be with me through this--I am the luckiest person in the world to have a friend like him.)

Tucker
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:18 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. I am really glad to hear that! Maybe the next time you are drinking sake, you could
leave an empty glass upside down for those of us who cannot be there with you
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:22 PM
Response to Reply #17
19. Good idea. I have just added such a glass to the stepstool that is our "table."
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struggle4progress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:26 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. Many thanks
:hug:
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dixiegrrrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:13 AM
Response to Reply #14
85. I am so glad to hear you have someone (s) with you.
I was hoping that you are in place where you would be allowed some control, some say over how this end stage could be handled in the most helpful and dignified manner possible.
Is a hospice in the plans?
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:51 PM
Response to Reply #14
121. I have never met you but you are mine and I am yours. I love you
like family right now. thank you for your courage and your generosity in posting with us who love you.
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Avalux Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #14
173. I've been thinking a lot about you Tucker...
not sure if you remember several years ago when we moderated together but I do. Sharing all of this with us is very, very brave and I want you to know we're all here for you; praying for you. :hug:
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Amerigo Vespucci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:08 PM
Response to Reply #4
138. Amazing. Thanks for posting.
I have a scan from Anthony Man-Tu Lee's Zen book on the wall to my immediate left. It says:

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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
5. Stay with us, my dear Tucker...
We want to walk this horrifying path with you...

:hug:
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nolabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. Stay with us while you can, Tucker, and tell us all you want.
Know that what you share is welcome and I pray you have those who love you around you to ease this. I don't know you but you are making an impact on me and I'm honored to be here.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
7. This article has a lot of false info, but it was published
http://oralcancernews.org/wp/democrat-shelly-leonard-former-house-district-candidate-fights-cancer-again/

Unfortunately, Van gave them outdated information: I was not a good candidate for surgery, and the tumors have never "shrunk" (he misinterpreted the fact that the surgery time was re-estimated to be less) and no one knows how many tunors there are. And I was not planning to run for State House again; I had set my sights higher. It is, however, cool that they ran the article.

Tucker
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:58 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. How very cool that they published it!
And what a great picture of you.

Now we have a face to go with your voice...

Here, on these pages, your voice is strong, clear and true. It doesn't matter how you sound in real life...

As long as you can type, we will hear you, and we will never forget you.

:hug:
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Thank you, CalPeg...
That was one of my favorite campaign photos, taken by Van, my campaign manager. It was even better than the photos taken by the party's "official" photographer.

:hug:

Tucker
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pamela Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
129. That's a great picture. You're very pretty.
Such beautiful, soulful eyes.

I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. I'm sending you lots of love and light.
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blm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:49 AM
Response to Reply #9
103. This is so true...and, AGirl, your vital thoughts will always be a part of us.
Edited on Tue Sep-06-11 09:50 AM by blm
Thank you and Peace be to all of us.
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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #9
188. +100000!
:cry: thanks Aliengirl, for your courage, and your voice...I am sending you gold healing energies every day to assist you in fighting the good fight :)
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. You have done so much in such a short time.
I hope you are surrounded with love.

:hug:
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progressoid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:54 PM
Response to Reply #7
50. ...


Thanks for posting that here. :hug:
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Digit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:14 AM
Response to Reply #7
58. It is so good to have a picture of you to focus on
You are a very beautiful woman and I had no idea of your wonderful history of helping people starting with social work. I just thought you were a great person online who had plenty to contribute, but reading that article impressed the hell out of me.

We are with you through this. I do know if you were homeless right now, I would take you in in a heartbeat. I am reassured that you have people around you that care about you a great deal. It shows what a wonderful person you are to have friends like that.

As you can tell, all of DU is here for you, too.

I pray for you every day, and we are here to listen when you need to communicate whatever is on your mind, and I do mean whatever is on your mind.

We are here, we love you, and we are pulling for you 100%.

Love, :hug:
Digit


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highplainsdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:20 AM
Response to Reply #7
59. Thanks for that link! What a beautiful photo of a truly beautiful woman.
Edited on Tue Sep-06-11 12:21 AM by highplainsdem
So much caring shining through, as well as strength.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:15 AM
Response to Reply #7
73. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
MilesColtrane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:17 AM
Response to Reply #7
74. You are beautiful.
And, you will remain beautiful no matter what this goddamned disease does to you.

:hug:
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WCGreen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:59 AM
Response to Reply #7
105. I never knew we both ran for congress....
Take that life hs given you all with you, the full life you have had. Keep drinking the Sake if it helps...

Peace be with you...
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yardwork Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:59 PM
Response to Reply #7
145. You are beautiful, inside and out. Thank you for all that you have done and will do.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 09:55 PM
Response to Original message
8. !!!!!!!!!
:hug:
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Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:01 PM
Response to Original message
11. damn
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Pool Hall Ace Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
15. Sending love from N.C.
:hug: for Tucker

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vard28 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
16. I've been thinkin' about you all week
I found this and thought of you, and it really fits after reading the article that you posted further down the thread. :hug:


To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are a lot of people here for you. Come by when you need to.

Suz
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:21 PM
Response to Reply #16
18. Thank you--yes, I have succeeded
There are more birds in the sky because of me. That is enough.

Tucker
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
21. Are you still in Clearwater?
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Safety Harbor, for now. nt
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:53 PM
Response to Reply #22
48. Still Pinellas.
I'm there every day, working. Is there anything I can do? I'm the boss so I have some leeway with what I can do with my day.
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snagglepuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. I saw your other post but I avoided commenting because I have not known what to say.
Edited on Mon Sep-05-11 10:35 PM by snagglepuss
Your courage, intelligence, spirit and grace is awe inspiring and no one reading your posts cannot but be deeply deeply moved and inspired to seek that same calm and courageous acceptance of what life may hold.

You are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I truly believe there is another reality after this one; I believe your spirit knows it.

:hug:


Lord of My Heart's Elation

Lord of my heart's elation,
Spirit of things unseen,
Be thou my aspiration
Consuming and serene!

Bear up, bear out, bear onward,
This mortal soul alone,
To selfhood or oblivion,
Incredibly thine own, --

As the foamheads are loosened
And blown along the sea,
Or sink and merge forever
In that which bids them be.

I, too, must climb in wonder,
Uplift at thy command, --
Be one with my frail fellows
Beneath the wind's strong hand,

A fleet and shadowy column
Of dust or mountain rain,
To walk the earth a moment
And be dissolved again.

Be thou my exaltation
Or fortitude of mien,
Lord of the world's elation,
Thou breath of things unseen!



Bliss Carmen




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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:38 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. Thank you. Anything is good to say.
I have strange intuitions that there are lives I have lived, and lives I have yet to live*. But I have no proof, of course...

Tucker



*in which I hope to track down this lifetime based on archives of the Internet, and find this current name, and have my proof. But that's beside the point.
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dgibby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #27
143. I believe you're right.
I once had a complete stranger tell me that the reason I was so close to one of my nieces was because I had been her mother in another life. What this stranger didn't know was A. I had many nieces and nephews. B. I am closer to one than all of the others. C. When she was very young, she insisted on calling me "mama", and D. She has always sent me cards on Mother's Day.

Wishing peace, comfort, and understanding in this life and the next.:hug:
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cwydro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
24. More vibes
coming from NC.

:hug:
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:41 PM
Response to Reply #24
29. Thank you. nt
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
25. ..
I have no words that will make things easier or make you feel better. I wish I did Tucker. My heart and prayers, good thoughts and best wishes are with you.

:hug:

I wish you peace and love.


kesha.
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
26. From DS1/Martin and I...
We are sending you all of the love and healing and comforting we can muster. We only wish we could do more. As DU old-timers, it pains us so much to see our friend and compatriot going through so much pain. We both love you Tucker, and we're right here with you. If there's anything we can do, please PM me. <3 <3
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Thank you. I am glad for the company as I approach the Dark. nt
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riderinthestorm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:36 AM
Response to Reply #28
109. Your life has been so full of light that I just know there isn't any "Dark" ahead.
"The art of living well and the art of dying well are one."
Epicurus

That seems especially true of you as you are keeping us close during this time and showing us the way.

Sending love from IL. We're here with you night and day. :hug:
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Lyric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
30. I just wish that I could do something. Anything.
I feel helpless and tongue-tied; I don't even know where to start. For what it's worth, you're constantly in my thoughts. I just wish I could do something, anything for you.

I feel like I know you and love you even though I've never met you.

I just wanted to say that.

:hug:
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. Thank you
:hug:
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ashling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
32. I, too, have not known what to say
I watched my mother go by inches, and my father too ... and my little brother

I do so admire you and am grateful for having had the chance to read your posts.

I do not know if this is appropriate, but this is the first thing I Came across on the Internet after reading this post

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.they seemed to say "Come, go with us into the woods..."

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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:10 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. Thank you--Weird sychronicity with an important dream;
Just before getting re-diagnosed, I had a dream in which there was a pregnant doe who was starving, and after I had tried unsuccessfully to give her other food, I stepped out of my body and, feeling a sort of tender compassion for the mortal husk I'd just vacated, I cut my own body into pieces to feed to the doe to save her and her fawn's lives.

This dream had resonances with the shamanic dismemberment dreams common around the Arctic Circle, within which a shaman is initiated; and also with the phrase from the myth of Odin, "I sacrifice myself to myself."

Tucker
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azul Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:44 AM
Response to Reply #33
68. Hello Tucker, Thank you for sharing that amazing dream.
In a dream once, I was so devastated by a sadness, of a loss, that I was wracked with sobbing too deep. I stepped out of my body and had the same sort of tender compassion as you describe for the weeping husk of my person so helplessly lost in sorrow.

We are all in this boat together. We are here to help and love one another.

Best regards,
TomN

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mimitabby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:42 AM
Response to Reply #33
112. what a beautiful dream!
my best to you, thank you for what you have done for your country.
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Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:12 PM
Response to Original message
34. I am also at a loss for words.
All I can say now is that in some small way,I got to know you,from here on DU. This saddens me to see you suffer so.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:17 PM
Response to Reply #34
38. Thank you. I am not really suffering yet: they say the pain will become unbearable and I will stink
Edited on Mon Sep-05-11 11:21 PM by AlienGirl
I will smell like roadkill times fifty and even the nurses will no longer want to enter my room. If I am lucky, at that point I will be on enough morphine to be almost comatose; if I am really lucky a compassionate soul will see to it that I "accidentally" am given too much before it comes to that point.

Tucker
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kag Donating Member (548 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:42 PM
Response to Reply #38
149. Tucker, I watched my mom die in similar fashion.
My heart goes out to you, and I pray that you have peace. PLEASE, please make sure they don't skimp on the morphine!
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
35. Not fair not fair not fair not fair not fair!!!!
But who do we complain to? :cry:
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. No one seems to be picking up the phone at the Complaint Line... nt
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rug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:16 PM
Response to Original message
37. My god, this is raw.
I have nothing to offer as you go through this. But I want you to know that your words are having a profound impact on me. I often think of my own death, diffidently and hypothetically. But this! Your absence will leave a gaping vacuum, just from your last few posts. i wish you peace.
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
39. I wish there was something I could say or do
To help ease your pain. Words are inadequate at a time like this, and yet all we have is words.

You are an amazing woman. It's a privilege to know you.
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Dyedinthewoolliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:25 PM
Response to Original message
40. Tucker
did you ever play the Name Game as a kid? :O) You know how it goes don't you? Tucker! Tucker, Tucker bo bucker...... :silly:
No, that's not what I want to say. What I want to say is you are very brave and courageous. The beauty that is You comes through your posts. I am humbled and honored to share this bit of the cyber world with you. Here are some virtual flowers I hope you enjoy. :hug:
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Liberal Veteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:30 PM
Original message
I wish I could say something to make things easier for you.
Your courage is reminder that every day we have is precious.
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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:30 PM
Response to Original message
41. I don't have words. Others are better at it than I am...
"Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of death.

And he said:

You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heath of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."

The Prophet
Kahlil Gibran

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dixiegrrrrl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:05 AM
Response to Reply #41
84. Wow...you beautifully put together my beliefs, which include returning to "star stuff."
I find that extraordinarily comforting, having had some out of body experiences which verify we do indeed go to a very relaxed plane of existence.

Gibran's language works for me very well.
How lovely.

thank you.
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
42. You are finding a well of courage that just amazes me...
I feel so incredibly helpless. All I can do is express my incredible admiration for you and the grace with which you are handling this. I send you love. I send you hope for a miracle. And, I send you my utmost prayers that you will not suffer. If only I could do more. :loveya:

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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
43. No words.
Just good vibes, Tucker.

And all the love we can possibly send.

:hug:

I hope you like Monet:

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LiberalAndProud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
44. When words fail, a hug will have to do.
:hug: :grouphug:
:grouphug: :hug:
:hug::grouphug:

Thank you, Tucker, for all you do.
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
45. I've seen this a few times throughout my own life
and have thanked God it wasn't me. But now that I'm suffering from arthritis and the loss of my ability to walk, I feel a little closer to the process.

And I still have no words.

How about a flower instead?

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ismnotwasm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:43 PM
Response to Original message
46. If I can send love and comfort over the electronic pathway
You've got it.

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A-Schwarzenegger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
47. A flower, love.
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Tess49 Donating Member (606 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:21 AM
Response to Reply #47
60. Best thread ever written. Hope it brings some laughter to you, AlienGirl.
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Brigid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:54 PM
Response to Original message
49. For AllenGirl ;
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Alameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:05 PM
Response to Reply #49
191. Thank you for that!
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MrMickeysMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-05-11 11:55 PM
Response to Original message
51. I'm glad I checked in with you...
... and California Peggy, thanks for re-directing us.

I lived and went to school in Pinellas County. You look great in your campaign photo. I'm happy to be here with you.

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murielm99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
52. I wish I could send you healing and comfort.
Prayers and kind thoughts are all I can give you. There is not enough. You are very brave and noble, AlienGirl.
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Starry Messenger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
53. (((hugs)))
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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:06 AM
Response to Original message
54. I'm so sorry...
As a cancer survivor (so far) myself, I can only imagine what you are going through.

I hope it does not offend you that I say a prayer. It's ok with me that many people do not believe in a higher power, but I do. I'm not really a very religious person, but there are a couple things that happened during my battle with cancer that have no other logical explanation.

And so, I just want you to know...I am thinking about you.
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gateley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
55. AllenGirl, you don't know me, but I love you.
I am holding you in my heart. I don't know what else to do. :hug:
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ornotna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:10 AM
Response to Original message
56. I don't know what to say Tucker
I'm so sorry.
I wish I could help. Wishing you peace.

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highplainsdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:13 AM
Response to Original message
57. (((((((Tucker))))))) I hope this poem of Alan Harris's will help:
http://www.alharris.com/poems/sab.htm#DeathIsLifeBurstingintoBloom

When I die, I will not die.
I will be a foot coming out of a too-small shoe,
a bird flying free out of a cramping cage,
an astronaut taking off his space suit,
having safely returned home.

When you die, you will not die either.
You are not your body, as I'm not mine.
You will see a brighter rainbow
and hear heaven's ethereal music
which no stereo can capture.

When I die but not die,
I will leave a little part of me
inside your memory.
It will be your key to my door
that is always open in heaven.

When you die but not die,
I will have the key to your door too.
Better to have keys for open doors
than closed doors without keys,
as in this locked-up life on earth.

When I am gone but not gone,
think of me and I am there.
When you are gone but not gone,
I will send you flowers through the air.
Let us celebrate the magnificent safety of death.



I believe you will be flying free, and seeing brighter rainbows. I just wish so much that you could be spared all pain in this transition.

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
- Rabindranath Tagore
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Tsiyu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:28 AM
Response to Original message
61. Your beautiful soul shines through


in your posts and in your photo

Cancer just pisses me off.

It sucks to imagine you not being around DU. You've been a very important part of DU. I don't pray per se, but I'm hoping with fervency for a miracle for you, and if not that, that your pain is manageable and that you find something even better on the Other Side.

If I could be any superhero I wanted to be, I would be the one who could wave my hands over cancer victims and make the cancer go away.

So I pretended a minute ago and waved my hand over your beautiful face and wished I could make that wish reality.

Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. Every day is precious and I'm glad to hear you're living them to the fullest :bounce:

:grouphug:
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:29 AM
Response to Original message
62.  My words are too shallow.
Edited on Tue Sep-06-11 12:39 AM by cliffordu
:hug:
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wundermaus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
63. (((((AlienGirl )))))
We all die... every one.
Some of us know the exact time and date...
while others are astonished.
Some suffer horribly while others are gone in a flashing instant.
I have seen it's face many times and it is thus far without fear...
and peaceful...
and even welcomed.
Yet life does not give up easily.
Life is a precious gift and is not easily given away.
Death is part of life. We were not before and we may not be again...
but we are not really sure of either, are we?
Therefore, be at peace.
We are star dust... Knowing it's self for a brief moment of time in a sea of infinity.
Amazing isn't it?
That somehow, miraculously, we had this tiny bit of time to share... to comfort each other.
Even though we never met.
I feel like I know you... and you now you know me a little, too.
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abq e streeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:39 AM
Response to Original message
64. I'm at a complete loss for words because none I can think of are adequate.
I do hope and pray that the love and caring of strangers displayed on your computer screen are at least of some bit of comfort to you. For what it may or may not be worth, I am praying for you .
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:40 AM
Response to Original message
65. I can't imagine. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
Anything. Seriously.
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Iggo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:42 AM
Response to Original message
66. Grrrrrrrrr.
:hug:
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
67. All my best thoughts to you
I am grateful to you for sharing some of what you're going through. Thank you.
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tblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:47 AM
Response to Original message
69. Dear sweet Tucker, Do whatever makes you feel better.
Edited on Tue Sep-06-11 12:51 AM by tblue
A big hug for you. :hug: plus my favorite poem. You're not alone. I will help you. All you gotta do is ask.


Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty
by C. Tillery Banks

No more ugly days for me the sun shines always and the rain is sweet and cleansing washing my gutters clean.

Cloudy days will be soft and hazy not blue or lonely. Problems will only be challenges and sickness will just be a signal to listen.

Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty


Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty.

Disappointment will be growth because it will teach me to choose more carefully.

Delays will be lessons in patience because I know everything comes in time on time even when I'm late. I'll be on time there is no loss if anything goes. I gave it away and blessed whoever got it.

Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty.

Closed doors are wrong paths. Jammed doors will be opened since I will learn the truth.

I'll not be tired only resting. No mistakes only lessons and growth and change movement.

Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty

Glory glory glory.

Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty!

Joy. Joy. Joy.

Even My Pain's Gonna Be Pretty.

Glory. Glory. Glory.


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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
70. There are no words...
Just peace. :hug:

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emilyg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
71. I hold you in my heart.
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Bonobo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
72. There is summer and winter, day and night, sleeping and waking
Everything seems to have 2 phases and I don't think that our lives are any different.

Our energy must be part of something larger and you will be entering into this other phase but your energy will remain in other forms.

You have a bit of every one of us in you and we all have a bit of you in us, dear sister.

Please have faith that you have only seen a small part of this universe and are actually a part of a much larger thing.

We love you and extend our energy and love to you. I hope you feel it.

-Jeremy
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Rabblevox Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:19 AM
Response to Original message
75. I hold you in my heart. /nt
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alphafemale Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:21 AM
Response to Original message
76. Know this. You will NOT do this alone.
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Raine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:22 AM
Response to Original message
77. I wish you much love
and I give you a big hug. :hug:
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:29 AM
Response to Original message
78. ...
:hug:
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
79. :(
:hug:
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Tom Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
80. I am so sorry to hear of this!
I been gone many many moon but I remember my Alien Girl! Please don't give in to the fright of it but try to live as much as you can until you feel you cannot deal with it anymore and you accept it, however grudgingly! I spent a year with my Mom who recently passed and am dealing with my sister's stage 4 cancer and it is really hard,I know, I feel my own mortality knocking.
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:47 AM
Response to Original message
81. I had no idea about your run for the Florida legislature
That is something you can be proud of. In fact, you can look back and say that you have made a difference in the world. Not everyone can.

It's very sad to see another long-time DUer going on that journey. I don't know what lies ahead of you, but like you, I think there's something, that this material world is not all there is.

Keep in touch as long as you are able.
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girl_interrupted Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:53 AM
Response to Original message
82. Dear AlienGirl You are one amazing woman, I am in awe of you
I read the article about you on Tampa Bay.com . I had no idea you were so politically active. It had to take a lot of guts to get out there and to actually do something. Not just talk or post about it, but to put yourself on the line to try and make a positive change in peoples lives. What a remarkable person you are.

So many people walk through life without making much of impression or caring about others, but that surely cannot be said about you! 16,000 votes! You got a lot of people up and moving! You should be very proud of your efforts.

I know that you were interested in saving the MLK community center and I'm wondering how that turned out too.


I'm having a hard time expressing how I feel, so please forgive me. I am thinking right now of my aunt who passed from breast cancer at a very young age. We all tried to be very comforting to her and put on a brave face, but one day the thought of losing her was just so unbearable to me that I broke down and cried in front of her. And I began to apologize and she stopped me. She said to me "Don't be sorry, I want to know that I'm loved & that I will be missed, and you know what? If you don't cry you can't heal, and I wouldn't want that either."

I think you can see with all these posts, the love and respect so many people have for you and how very much you will be missed. But in the meantime I hope all these heartfelt messages envelop you in a big warm hug you can feel and keep feeling when times get rough. You will never be alone.

I pray that you do not suffer, and I'm sure those around will see that you don't. You mentioned going into the "Dark" but thats not how I see it. I think you are going into the "Light". Your body & mind, free from anxiety & pain, your spirit able to be free of these earthly bonds, these restrictions, to roam wherever you chose. And perhaps, to be united with familiar faces.

God speed on your journey to the next stage. You are in my thoughts & prayers. Much love!




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Pushed To The Left Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 01:56 AM
Response to Original message
83. ..
:hug:
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:27 AM
Response to Original message
86. ...
:hug::hug::hug:
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TorchTheWitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:44 AM
Response to Original message
87. my heart goes out to you
I'm so sorry you are suffering this. I just don't know what to say. Bless you and yours.

:cry: :hug:


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solara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:47 AM
Response to Original message
88. Dear Tucker
I don't know you in this life, but I believe we are all of us connected and definitely part of the same family. I am so moved that you would share your life with us.

Remember that you are not at the edge of an abyss, you are merely taking another step in your eternal existence.

I am sending you love and light and peace from my heart to yours

I am so grateful for your courage in sharing your experience like this

Bless you

:hug:
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 03:19 AM
Response to Original message
89. Warm thoughts, hopes for good care, a wish to sit with you.

:hug:
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JI7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 03:46 AM
Response to Original message
90. .
:hug:
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TreasonousBastard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:23 AM
Response to Original message
91. Such strength. Such courage. And there is so much yet you could have done...
but for this cruel disease.

John Donne said "Death be not proud..." Dylan Thomas said "Do not go gentle into that good night..."

You know how to stare back at the now visible face of death, but the Bard said "...To sleep, perchance to dream..." and after such a life well lived, you will be kicking up a storm in those dreams.







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6000eliot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:23 AM
Response to Original message
92. Are you under some sort of care?
Can you be given something for the pain? I hope for your journey to be as pain free as possible, AlienGirl.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #92
168. I am seeing oncologists, but my pain is being poorly managed
They seem afraid to prescribe sufficient morphine for the pain, and the fentanyl patches don't help much but they won't give me a higher dosage of them either.

I am small and skinny but have an inherited opiate resistance, and I guess they are afraid they might give me too much and kill me.

Tucker
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Festivito Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:06 AM
Response to Original message
93. I hope you revel in the good that is left.
Could that be the left-wing?

I recall you've been fighting for yourself and for us, US, for years here. We will all relinquish our fight to those who follow each of us. It would be unfair of us to make our more perfect union perfect. We are not perfect and neither will be those who follow. It's a fight that will continue long after we all leave only remnants of our good fight as our fight becomes the good itself.

Revel in the good that is left.
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KC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:52 AM
Response to Original message
94. Hugs and
More healing thoughts from NC. I am so sorry you are going through this but am thankful that
you have people around you, that love you and will be with you to support and help you get through this.
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motely36 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:15 AM
Response to Original message
95. ...
words fail me. vibes for you.
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mazzarro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:20 AM
Response to Original message
96. My best regards and prayer to you - with a heavy heart
It is a terribly sad feeling to read about a situation where one cannot do much for a friend in need. How I wish that there is something we can do in this particular case - oh yes we can pray - for those of us who are religious.
Times like this is the reason we struggle to make it possible to provide the support and options to help when illness strike. Those of us who care will continue this struggle on your behalf as long as we live. I pray that your courage has inscribed on the world a legacy of fulfillment that will stand the test of time. And I hope that as you live out your last moment on this earth you come to satisfaction with the struggles you have embarked and victories you have achieved. And I hope and pray that when all our times on this earth is done, we'll meet again to renew our relationship in another dimension. With heavy heart, my prayers and best regards I'll keep offering to you as you make your preparation for the life after.
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:44 AM
Response to Original message
97. I didn't know what to say in response to your first post.
I was just stunned, frankly. Just know that all of us are here for you, and we're with you in spirit if not in person. Try not to be afraid. I'm convinced there is more for us than what we can see in this realm. Your courage is inspiring.

I wish you a peaceful passage.

:hug:

Bake
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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:51 AM
Response to Original message
98. not much to add - keep fighting and keep hope alive
:hug:
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Courtesy Flush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
99. Love from a cancer caregiver
It hurts to read posts like yours. I hope you are not in too much pain, and that your last days are peaceful.
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YankeyMCC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
100. .
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lonestarnot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
101. I am so sorry AlienGirl
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Little Star Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
102. Never knew that I could feel such love for someone I never knew in person...
You have done many good works during your well years. Running for office during such a trying time for you must have been hard. I stand in awe of you and your tensity!

May your journey be easy.

I will hold you in my heart forever.


Love, LS
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Melissa G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
104. (((((Tucker)))))
Love and Peace surround you. Keeping you in my prayers.:grouphug:
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lillypaddle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:24 AM
Response to Original message
106. Damn, you're brave
I'm glad you're keeping us posted, even though it hurts us to hear it, it is nothing compared to the reality you face. You have my admiration for your strength, I wish there was something that could be said to ease it for you. Sending love your way, Tucker.
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Amaril Donating Member (447 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:44 AM
Response to Original message
107. I have no words to offer.
We are strangers to each other, so there are no shared memories to bring laughter or comfort.........and yet, the tears on my cheeks are genuine.

I wish you peace and grace on your journey. I would hold your hand if I could.

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bear425 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:56 AM
Response to Original message
108. Your courage and strength is an example of your
giving and generous nature. How brave of you to share your experience with us. I wish you comfort on your journey.
:hug:
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OhioChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
110. ..........
:hug:
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kentauros Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
111. I haven't said anything about what you're going through
because I didn't know what to say. Everything I thought of seemed trite. It is good to hear you have a great friend with you :hug: :hug:
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:42 AM
Response to Original message
113. Someone posted a picture of you to FB last night
I'd never seen you before. :loveya:
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Jack Rabbit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
114. !!
:hug:
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
115. Tucker make sure that you do get pain management
it really does not, or should not, be that way.

<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>

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WillyT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:47 AM
Response to Original message
116. (((((((Tucker)))))))
:grouphug:

Peace...
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closeupready Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
117. Hang in there - I am sending you warm, healing thoughts!
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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one_voice Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
118. .....
:hug:

I want to reach out and hold your hand. Give you my shoulder to lean on. Take the weight from you..even if just for a moment.

:hug:
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
119. OH tucker, I send you my love and admiration for your courage.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
120. i will continue to pray that the Peace that passes all understanding be with you and yours.
please tell uncle sepp hello from DU.

how beautiful to have such a friend and to be able to render such kind assistance.

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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:19 PM
Response to Original message
122. Oh Tucker, I'm so sorry! *hugs* Do you have someone staying with you or are you in a hospice?
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Uncle Joe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:34 PM
Response to Original message
123. Peace and love to you AlienGirl.
Thanks for sharing.:hug:
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pacalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
124. Oh, Tucker...
I wish I could give you a real :hug: .

I read the website that you provided; you're a beautiful, substantial lady with a good, good heart.

I wish I had the power to take these troubles away from you.

:hug:
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Liberal_in_LA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
125. hang in there.
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mahina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 03:12 PM
Response to Original message
126. sending you love sister
thank you for reaching out and sharing with us
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myrna minx Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 03:54 PM
Response to Original message
127. Peace to you.
:grouphug:
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shireen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
128. thank you ... it is a privilege to share
this little bit of the internet with you at this time.
:hug:

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Nostradammit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:14 PM
Response to Original message
130. We will all be along shortly, sister.
Thank you for all your good work - this planet needs people like you.

Rest now, and we will see you on the other side.
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DoBotherMe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
131. I am thinking of you
:hug: Dana ; )
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:31 PM
Response to Original message
132. You have my sympathy
my heart is breaking while I read this thread.
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mnhtnbb Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
133. I did not know what to say when you posted earlier that you were dying
but I recently had a long ago friend from college days taken by a recurrence of colon cancer.
She had asked her closest friends--as well as family--to be with her at the end.

Do not hesitate to ask your friends to be with you. They will be honored by your invitation.

My heart goes out to you, Tucker. Peace be with you.
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kentuck Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:45 PM
Response to Original message
134. Just to let you know Tucker....
You are one of my all-time favorite DUers...

peace

ken
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yellerpup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:54 PM
Response to Original message
135. May it be just a temporary glitch.
I so admire your courage and honesty. :hug:
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emsimon33 Donating Member (904 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 04:57 PM
Response to Original message
136. This so saddens me, but please know that you will always be a part of DU
and remembered here.

Also please know that you are surrounded by love and appreciation for all that you have done.

Finally, after losing first my mom and then my dad, I can attest that dead is just another phase although those of us in our bodies may not have the joy of holding and touching those on the other side, they are there. My dad died as a young man when he was in the Navy. He was brought back to life but had the experience that so many have with the light and the sense of joy. He did not want to come back but was told that it was not his time, so he came back. He always said that after that experience, he never feared dying. To this day, almost 10 years after my mom's death, I still get messages from her.

I would rather that you not leave us, but if you must, then know that it is the leaving that is difficult, not the other side.

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barbtries Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:01 PM
Response to Original message
137.  i wish i could wish away your pain.
peace and love to you and your family.
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PA Democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
139. May you be surrounded by peace, comfort and love.
:hug:
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graywarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:33 PM
Response to Original message
140. I'm sorry, Aliengirl. I wish I could offer some comfort, but honestly this hits too close to home
all I can say is you're part of us here, and we're part of you.
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libodem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
141. BLess your heart
Love and light.
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RedCloud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:55 PM
Response to Original message
142. We need you AlienGirl!
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yardwork Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 05:56 PM
Response to Original message
144. Your courage is an inspiration.
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jwirr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
146. As we walk through this with you we also can be strengthened by
your courage and wisdom. Thank you for allowing us into you life. Love jwirr.
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OneGrassRoot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
147. You are a gift...
to so many.

Please be gentle with yourself. If there is anything I can do to help you at this time, please let me know. I'll do my very best.

For now, I send you hugs of support, Tucker. Bless you....

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


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CrispyQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
148. No words.
:hug:
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a la izquierda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
150. I wish you peace.
Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.
-Omar Khayyam

(My mother's partner of 25 years was just diagnosed with colon cancer. A cheerful soul tackles the cancer much better, I think, and you seem to prove that).
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LongTomH Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:56 PM
Response to Original message
151. May the Lord Bless You and Keep You
May the Lord make His Face shine upon you and be gracious to you,
May the Lord lift up His Countenance upon you and give you peace,
Amen

No, I'm not really religious in a conventional way; but this prayer still says something that I would like to say.

I pray the good you have done in this life and the merit you have earned provide you with a good karma for the next.

And, I hope as your suffering grows, that a kindly nurse or doctor will have the grace to 'point you to heaven' with an extra dose of painkiller.

since others have posted pictures, I'd like to post this image of the Pleides. After all, your journey will be to the stars!

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tabbycat31 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
152. sending good vibes your way
If you need anything send me a PM.
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hedgehog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 06:58 PM
Response to Original message
153. You know - so often people in chat rooms can say very nasty
things to each other. Thank you for letting us all realize that there are real people behind the names on the screen. I am so sorry you are going through this, and pray for a peaceful journey for you to the other side.
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Parker CA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
154. I saved this a few months ago. I think I found it on the DU. I love these words...
ASCENSION
And if I go while you're still here, 
Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure 
Behind a thin veil you cannot see through. 
You will not see me, so you must have faith. 
I wait for the time when we can soar together again, 
Both aware of each other. 
Until then, live your life to the fullest — 
And, when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart. 
I will be there.
— Colleen Hitchcock

Find something to smile about every day, and strangle those memories with your mind's grasp, filling it until overflowing.

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rhett o rick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
155. I am thinking about you. nm
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
156. And I keep wanting this to not be true.
I keep hoping for a huge mistake. My thoughts go with you.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
157. I'm so sorry, Tucker
I remember having dinner with you years ago at Ohana in Belltown when you still lived in Seattle. I had no idea this was happening. I just want you to know that you're in our thoughts and prayers and if there's anything at all we can do, please let us know. Hugs, Lisa & Neil
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 07:47 PM
Response to Original message
158. In my thoughts always
:cry:
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kestrel91316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
159. I am so sad to hear of what you are facing. As a cat doctor, I occasionally
see cats with squamous cell carcinoma involving the base of the tongue, so more than most folks here I understand exactly what you are facing.

Be sure you demand, and receive, as much pain control as you need, administered by whatever means necessary, and if you can do so get ahold of plenty to spare so that you have the final say in how long you live.

And if your nurses ever can't deal with your situation, fire their pathetic asses and get new ones.

In the meantime, LIVE every day of your life - like it's your last.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #159
164. I knew you would have seen it in cats...and in cats it usually isn't allowed to progress
It seems crazy to me that I am not allowed to have any legal option other than slowly dying in agony and stink with my tongue protruding from my mouth until I aspirate and get pneumonia, am no longer able to breathe, or starve. A cat with this disease can be put down as soon as quality of life and function are lost.

My most recent oncologist privately told me that I may be better off if it has metastasized to my liver, because that is a faster, but kinder, death.

Tucker
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #164
177. it is a crime that we are not allowed to choose a death with dignity
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snagglepuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #164
211. That is brutal. I hope you gain some comfort knowing that we are all holding you
Edited on Wed Sep-07-11 08:40 PM by snagglepuss
in our hearts and sending prayers and vibes that you will be spared from suffering.

Something that had helped a friend of mine who had been in a hospice was his having compiled and taped not only his favorite music but also taped friends reading parts of books and poems that had always meant a lot to him. Even when he was unconscious we placed the headsets on him, as he had said he wanted, and played those tapes.
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Curmudgeoness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
160. Keep you spirit. You have been a fighter,
and your attitude has been an inspiration.

:hug:
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Mendocino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
161. May things turn out the
best that they can.:hug:
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Johnny Noshoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:22 PM
Response to Original message
162. Words fail me
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
163. you are in my thoughts
love and light to you
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stuckinarut Donating Member (242 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
165. This is what the sunset looks like where I live..
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RainDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
166. sending love to you
thank you for sharing your life with us and so many others in this world.
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tpsbmam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
167. From one who is just starting down her own road of surgery & cancer treatments
I thank you for sharing yourself with us.....with me. I'll carry your courage and that of so many who've come before me with me and hope I, too, will wend my way with my own brand of fortitude, be it for years or months.

Peace be with you. You're swathed in the love of friends near and far. You've given me a good cry tonight -- those, too, are to be cherished & enveloped into the whole that makes us one, so deliciously human.

:grouphug:

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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #167
170. Thank you. Keep fighting. My first round of treatment got me an extra decade!
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tpsbmam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 06:27 AM
Response to Reply #170
206. Thank you! I'm a fighter and will take your words with me as I go.
I only hope I'd do as much with my decade as you've done with yours.


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EnlightenedOne Donating Member (452 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
169. I'm so very sorry
but know that your life works in perfect divine order, we choose when to come in and when to leave, but the love never dies - you are and will always be surrounded by light and love. I wish you the greatest of peace and joy, which I know you will have.

I tried to paste pictures from the Hubble telescope, which didn't work. They are a thing of beauty if you feel like looking. Your life won't end, we never really ever die, you will merely shed your old skin and be in a wondrous place, and you'll take all the love with you.
I wish I had something more profound to say.
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polly7 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
171. I don't know you Tucker, but this song helped me so much when
I was feeling completely alone during a really difficult time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRB0enqRhzg I read the replies to you and see so much love, empathy, compassion and hope being sent your way. I wish you all of the above, and hope that each day brings a new beauty and discovery to you. You're an amazing person. :grouphug:
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
172. To quote Dr. Who, there are no ordinary humans.
We are all here for a limited time and the loss of each one represents a loss of experiences that cannot be recovered. And there is no fairness in who goes when. My father died a year after retiring from retail to take his dream job training service dogs. He was 51 when a freak stroke killed him. My step brother, age 34, was run over and killed by a truck last year. My wife's best friend died of an aneurysm in her 20s.

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can only hope you don't have to suffer or go through it alone. I mean it as a consolation to say that we are all going to end up there sooner or later, so in that sense you don't have to do it alone or do anything extraordinary.

Peace.
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lightningandsnow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 08:57 PM
Response to Original message
174. You are an amazingly strong person.
:hug:
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Auntie Bush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:02 PM
Response to Original message
175. Here's a poem that was read at my son's fureral and gave my heart a lift
It's a well known poem and you may have heard it already...but it gave me some peace of mind and may it do the same for you.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

By Mary E Frye

God bless you and may you have eternal life.

By the way...I've received many messages from him ...so I know there is a life after death. Receiving those messages turned me from an agnostic to a believer.
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
176. ((((( AlienGirl )))))
FWIW, neither did I. Hopefully you can get in touch with the tools you need to make this as painless as possible.
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Coyote_Bandit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
178. I have no words
but I send warm comforting thoughts.

:hug:




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texanwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
179. I have been thinking of what to write, nothing seems right.
This past year I lost both parents and several elderly friends.

They found a inner peace toward the end.

I hope I have the same attitude as them when my end comes.

I will be thinking of you.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
180. AlienGirl you'll be in my thoughts.
I wish you only good things.
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wisteria Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
181. I am so sorry you have to go through this.
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Dystopian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
182. "...death can be beautiful..."
Tucker~

I recently wrote a post which included my daughter's life...
She is now a hospice nurse.
Here is a snippet:

Recently, when I had to see her at the nursing home, she unlocked the door to let me out.
"Nicki, I don't know how you can deal with this....death all around you"
She smiled at me, gave me a hug and said, "Mom......death can be beautiful..."
I walked to my car in wonderment....


Yes, I was in wonderment...and I cried.
Now I see in you what she could never have explained to me....
There is courage and acceptance .... something I didn't fully understand.
She told me she had a calling.....and she needed to be there....her path...
Her life is love...As is yours.

It is the path that we all travel....
We just don't want to think about it...we want to live in the moment....you will know and accept each moment.
May your path be filled with love and joy...

There will be those who will lessen your physical pain...fill your final days with love...
You have touched my heart....I don't know you...yet I do...We are all as one....
I am thankful that you have loved ones to be there with you and for you...
I know I will have the same...

We never know what tomorrow will bring...Let each breath bring more life and beauty..
I only wish I had the right words...and I wonder...what are the right words?



Tucker....peace, love and joy of life to you~







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susanwy Donating Member (461 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:30 PM
Response to Original message
183. A little song to ease your pain....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhe3vb0z7mY

I have read your insightful posts, but had no idea. A member of my family is facing the same journey soon....


Peace and Love to you

Susan
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Marrah_G Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:31 PM
Response to Original message
184. I don't know what to say
I just hope you have family and friends around and that your passing, when it comes is easy and peaceful.

Love and Light

Marrah
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bullwinkle428 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
185. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I wish we could do
something collectively as DUers to take away the pain... :hug:
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stockholmer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
186. all thoughts good I send to you
"Surely there was a time I might have trod
The sunlit heights, and from life's dissonance
Struck one clear chord to reach the ears of God..."

~ Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)



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MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
187. You've been in my thoughts for months
And you will continue to be in my thoughts for years to come. I hope that your days are pain free and as comfortable as possible.
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DirkGently Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
189. Peace. Strength. Warm thoughts from a fellow Floridian.
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area51 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 10:58 PM
Response to Original message
190. {{{Tucker}}}
:hug:

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FirstLight Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
192. I have a question,
I don't want this to sound strange, but how long did they give you?
I have lost a couple close friends to cancer, but never was able to be there in the end when it seemed to matter most...then again, maybe it was for the best at the time. who knows why those things happen as they do.
(My first loss was my best friend, the old Hawaiian man who used to live around the corner he had a real farm and helped me raise my rabbits. Then he got sick and i couldn't handle going to see him... I was 12.
The other was another long time friend who was like a family member, she passed right after i had my 2nd child and I was too late to get there...

I am grateful for your posts and your voice and the sharing of your experience, because there is this horrific curiosity as well, since I have only dealt with the loss from a distance. Your wonderful activism and life is a real encouragement, to another single mom who would like to make a difference too. I am glad you have loved ones there, know you have a huge wave of love from us here too...
thanks and blessings
:hug: :grouphug:
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Irishonly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
193. Positive thoughts are being sent.
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glinda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
194. We are here for you. We love you.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
195. I am so sorry to hear this.
:hug:

All my thoughts are with you, hoping for good days and slow progression. :loveya:
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sellitman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-06-11 11:34 PM
Response to Original message
196. Not many who have passed this way have touched so many, so deeply
What humanity strives for you have accomplished. The rest of us now have to catch up.

Hugs!
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ProfessionalLeftist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
197. No beginning. No ending.
The present moment contains past and future. The secret of transformation, is in the way we handle this very moment. If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people. Death is but a transformation into another form. One is not separate of the other. Nothing is separate from anything else. No one is separate from anyone else. As Thay says, they 'inter-are':

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=258002451688299451

Forward to 8:02 where the talk begins - if you're interested.

"Can we truthfully say we did not exist before our birth? What will become of us after death? Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh addresses our ideas about life and death and how we can release these debilitating notions and get in touch with our true nature, the nature of no birth and no death. We have the tendency to think dualistically: coming and going, birth and death, same and different, being and non-being. Such opposing ideas are merely mental constructions that do not reflect the true nature of reality. Life arises when conditions are sufficient and fades when conditions are no longer sufficient. But we cannot say life and death oppose one another—they “inter-are.” “The teaching of no birth, no death,” says Thich Nhat Hanh, “is the cream of the Buddha’s teachings.”

What I hope this brings you, is peace. :hug:
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era veteran Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
198. Peace be with you
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Alameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 12:24 AM
Response to Original message
199. Have you made an Advanced Directive? I recently was
the primary for a friend of mine. He had three advanced directive proxies, I was the primary, but there were two others in case anything happened to me, there were back ups. Going over the Advanced Directive was very sobering, to say the least, but it does help focus on things and how to deal with them. You, and your loved ones, will need this. You also need to go over everything very carefully with your proxy. One thing we had not thought of was when they called to tell me my friend had passed, and the next sentence was,"what do you want us to do with the body". That was one detail we had not gone over with my friend. We knew he wanted to be cremated, where he wanted his ashes, what kind of a party he wanted....but the nitty gritty "what do you want to do with the body" had not been thought about.

Have you made a will? A legal will? My friend had not made a legal will and now much is in limbo. He was a fantastic artist, and we are trying to keep his work together, but his family, who never came to see him when he was sick, never went to any of his shows, and didn't help clean up things are now legal owners of all of it. He tried to make a legal will before he passed, but because of his sickness it was not possible to do it legally. By then he was not legally lucid enough to make a will. If you have anything you care about and want taken care of or anyone to have it, say and declare it now, while you are lucid enough to do it.

I hope what I'm saying is not depressing, but these are things I've found need to be taken care of early on. Taking care of them actually makes things easier.

The advanced directive is complicated. Also, we found we needed to keep copies of the Advanced Directive with us all the time because the hospital kept loosing it. It got so I remembered it by heart, but still, it's a legal document that who ever you assign will need to carry with them all the time.

Here is one pretty much anyone can fill out and use legally,if it is signed and witnessed:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Wishes#Wish_1:_The_Person_I_Want_to_Make_Care_Decisions_for_Me_When_I_Can.27t

I wish you peace and ease in your journey. You have an arduous voyage ahead, G-d speed...:hug:
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Liberty Belle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
200. Tucker, I'm so sorry. But there is always hope.
Medical science is advancing so fast, you never know when a cure may be around the corner.

I just saw a scientific journal article, several of them recently in various medical journals actually, with evidence that cannabis (marijuana) shrinks tumors. Worth a try if you can get some. It also helps with pain.

Eat all the dark-hued fruits and vegetables you can--berries, cantalope--and the cruciferous veggies (cabbage, kale, broccoli, cauliflower) which have cancer-fighting properties. Former nutrition industry editor speaking here.

I have known several people in my lifetime who were told they had rapidly growing incurable cancer, weeks to live. Several of them survived a dozen years or more, and one had her brain tumor inexplicably disappear -- not just remission, it actually VANISHED. Doctors don't understand everything there is to know about this disease.

Chlorophyll pills are used in Japanese hospitals (specifically the brand Sun Chlorella) to treat throat cancer and some other conditions. It costs next to nothing. (No, I don't sell the stuff, but have taken it in the past.) Maitake mushroom extract is another health food store item with anti-cancer properties.

AS for liver damage, the supplement sam-e is the only substance known to man that can actually reverse liver damage, even from cancer.

Where there is life, there is hope.
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Alameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 02:29 PM
Response to Reply #200
209. You are right, it ain't over til it's over...great info, I'm keeping it for who knows when?
Amazing things do happen.
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Dem2theMax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 01:24 AM
Response to Original message
201. AlienGirl,
LOVE. I don't know what to say but 'love.' It is all that matters at the end of our lives.
From reading these replies to your post, it is so clear how much you are loved,
and how much love you have put out into the world.

I don't know you, but the lump in my throat is the sadness I feel at the physical loss of
someone so loved. You.

You said that there were more birds in the sky because of you.
Birds are my favorite creatures on this planet.
I cannot begin to tell you what they mean to me.
They are MY symbol of infinite and unconditional love.
I thank you for doing good for them.
When I see them soaring in the sky, I will know that your spirit
is soaring with them. And I will smile and feel joy that you were here.
Know that your love will remain forever in our hearts,
and your spirit will remain forever in the lives of all who have known you.

When it is time, I wish you a peaceful journey.
While it is now, I wish you every moment of love that passes your way.
This is one of them. :hug:
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Delphinus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 06:20 AM
Response to Reply #201
205. Beautiful.
{{Tucker}} ... as stated above, when it is time, a peaceful journey. While now, love.

Thank you, Dem2theMax.

:grouphug:
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 01:31 AM
Response to Original message
202. always here for you, girl
you know it
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blackspade Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
203. May the sun always smile on your face....
Edited on Wed Sep-07-11 02:12 AM by blackspade
And the wind be at your back.

:hug:

I have always found this inspirational:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkhx3dGKz3k
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Violet_Crumble Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 05:02 AM
Response to Original message
204. AlienGirl, I don't know what to say...
Words kind of suck when yr facing something like that, so just know I'm thinking of you from the other side of the world

*hugs*
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kimi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
207. I don't know you
Haven't even been at DU long enough to know your legacy here, but I feel like it's being written through your words now. The courage to write about what you are going through, the generosity to share it, the willingness to tell us all what it's like --- I find it amazing and just can't find words, really. We're all better people for it, I do believe.

Peace to you, and your loved ones, and let us know if you need anything. You have so much support behind you, hon.
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muffin1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 08:12 AM
Response to Original message
208. I am so sorry, AlienGirl.
You are a beautiful and brave soul. I send you love and {{hugs}}. I so wish I could do more.

:hug: :loveya: :hug:
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LeftishBrit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 02:57 PM
Response to Original message
210. I am so sorry, and just wish you all the best
Know that there are so many people who have never met you, but know you from your posts on the board, who are thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Hugs, tears and good thoughts to you, across thousands of miles.
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Bryn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-07-11 09:00 PM
Response to Original message
212. I posted to you in another thread here so this is a re-post for you
Have you heard of Anita Moorjani? She had terminal cancer, was at end of stage when she had NDE (near death experience). Her story is wonderful! She's well known around the world and was on various programs on TV. Here's her story.

http://anitamoorjani.com/?page_id=159

She wrote a book with foreword by Dr. Wayne Dyer



Also her youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjLouLHH-_I

I will be thinking about you. I hope Anita's story will be a great comfort to you.
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fortyfeetunder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-08-11 01:22 AM
Response to Original message
213. I saw your picture and read your posts
AlienGirl, I weep silently for your discomfort, and hope you will find peace and comfort soon. And whatever you do, do it on your own terms. :hug:
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