Kerry has said a lot of what you want him to, but if he says flat out "I'm for gay marriage," he loses the south. So he talks around the issue, but his beliefs are obvious. I don't think he's handling it well, but it's still early.
This is no different than what LBJ did on civil rights, and frankly it's a hell of a lot more bold than what JFK did on civil rights.
http://www.365gay.com/newscon04/05/050604kerryGays.htm "It may well be that if we achieve civil unions ... then we may -- all of us -- progress ... to a place where there is a different understanding . But I think that one has to respect the current cultural-historical-religious perception , and I respect it."
"An equal-protection clause, I think, pertains to the rights you give to people, not to the name you give to something, so I'm for civil unions. That gives people the rights: the rights of partnership, the rights of inheritance of property, the rights of taxation and so forth. But I think there is a distinction between what we have traditionally called 'marriage' between a man and a woman and those rights. ... I believe very strongly that we can advance the cause of equality by moving toward civil unions. But that's where my position is at this point in time. What is distinct is the institutional name. Whatever people look at as the sacrament within a church or within a synagogue or within a mosque as a religious institution, there is a distinction. The civil state really just adopted that. It's the rights that are important, not the name of the institution.""
Note also that Kerry was one of 14 senators who voted against DOMA.
Some other Kerry statements, for anyone who hasn't seen them (I'm sure you have, IG, but others may not have):
"While I do not support gay marriage, I support civil unions and I believe that gays and lesbians should have full rights and equality under the law. ... Same-sex couples should be afforded the same rights and benefits as married couples ... including access to pensions, health insurance, family medical leave, bereavement leave, hospital visitation and survivor benefits. ... Additionally, I am one of six cosponsors of legislation to provide domestic-partnership benefits to gay and lesbian federal employees."
"Whether you call it marriage or not is up for grabs, but you have to have the rights. ... I think marriage is a term that kind of gets in the way of this discussion. But there is a distinction between church-sanctioned marriage and what rights the states give. A state itself can afford different rights. The rights is what's critical. It's equal protection under the law that is at stake here."
"Marriage to many people is obviously what is sanctified by a church. It's sacramental. Or by a synagogue or by a mosque or by whatever religious connotation it has. Clearly there's a separation of church and state here. ... Marriage is a separate institution. I think marriage is under the church, between a man and a woman, and I think there's a separate meaning to it."