Reply #182: I think you have not considered what the rude guy might say: [View All]

[Jane Roe]

Possibility #1:

"You know I didn't mean to ignore you, Cally. It is just that we met on that other committee, but I haven't had the pleasure of meeting your husband. that is why I focused on him, because I already consider us old pals and compatriots in common causes. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I apologize profusely and I will take pains never to do that with you or anyone else."


Possibility #2:

"You know I used to listen to you speak at those committee meetings we attended. I think we have some very different ideas on politics and policy. I would love to debate all that with you sometime, but I thought the other night was not the right time or place for a debate. Even though I disagree with you on a lot of things, I do take you seriously and would love to have a vigorous discussion of politics over coffee at some point. Where and when would you like to do that? Feel free to bring your husband, but the focus will be on your opinions at this next proposed, more private meeting."


Note: either of these two explanations by the allegedly rude guy: (1) are plausible; and (2) would explain the behavior in non-sexist terms.