Reply #59: I worked in juvenile court for years [View All]

[Hamlette]

I in NO way want you to think I condone the grandmother's behavior BUT, I saw much more damage done by the "system" than by the "act."

By system I mean to include the hysteria on the part of many people surrounding the child.

I have talked to many women who had "similar" events in their childhood. I did too. All were foundlings. I never reported it and neither did they and we all agree we were better off for not reporting it. None of us had scars from the "act". It might be hard to understand if you've not had the experience. I don't think the man who did it to me was sick or dangerous. He was just a lonely old man who wanted to squeeze a girl's butt now and again. If I'd reported him I might have ruined his life and mine in the process. I've seen what witnesses go though in court in these types of cases. I would honestly think twice before I put anyone through it. Yes, especially my own kid.

I honestly believe that making too much of these kinds of things can do more damage.

I don't espect many here to agree with me. But I've seen it. There are factors to be weighed. Consider the child. If the child is not affected now, will he be by making him testify against his grandmother? How will that affect his relationship with his parents, even subconsciously. Those scars can be much deeper.