Reply #39: You could have been writing about me 25 years ago. [View All]

[last1standing]

I was a shy, short, fat kid myself. Unlike your child, however, either my parents never knew or never cared that I was getting teased relentlessly by the cool kids in school. He's very lucky in that respect.

Be careful. I attempted suicide twice in those years as so many other unpopular children and teens do. I felt it was unbearable to go to school every day just to be told how disgusting and worthless I was. Somehow, I managed to make it through, although I still don't know exactly how I did so.

My problem was self confidence. I didn't have looks or money or strength to give me the respect of the other kids and so they tormented me. Of course the more they teased me the worse I felt and the lower my self esteem got. It became a vicious cycle that got worse through 7th and 8th grade.

I don't know what my breaking point was, but one day I'd had enough and when one of the worse bullies started teasing me, I punched him. Everyone was stunned when he started to cry and walked away yelling about how he was going to kick my ass. It's quite funny when I look back on it now. Back then, my adrenalin was pumping through my body so strongly that I was almost crying myself. Things didn't change overnight for me, after that, but it was the beginning of the end of my worst days. I realized something very important that day. The reason I was being picked on was because I wasn't doing anything to stop it. I was an easy mark. I never stood up for myself because I didn't think I was worth the bother.

I think what your child needs is self respect and confidence in himself. He's probably not really afraid of what they're saying, he's probably afraid that what they're saying is true. Get him into activities that show him that he's he isn't powerless. Karate or some other strength training might be good. Even better would be acting or other mental training to strengthen his ability to think on his feet. Nothing beats back a bully better than wit.

By the time I left high school I was one of the popular kids myself. I never hit another person but I did belittle many who thought they could bully me or other people. To this day the friends I still have from school talk about the way I'd ridicule people twice my size and how they would always back down. Its nice that we can laugh about bullying the bullies.

Good luck to you and your son. And if you have any questions you'd like to ask please respond or PM me. I would be happy to give you any support I can.