Reply #32: For the first time in my life, I'm dreading them [View All]

[leftist_rebel1569]

Normally, I would be happy when the holiday season comes around. I'd see my family who I may not see until Easter, and then until the Fourth of July. I'd spend lots of time with my friends, who would be as cheery as I would be. And being someone of my age, I would recieve lots of presents without spending too much on other people because of the lack of income.

But, this year's different. I won't be getting as much gifts as years before because money is starting to become a problem, but that really doesn't matter too much. I don't care about gifts as much because there's less and less I want. So far, all I think that's on my list is a mirror for my new room. But spending time with my family and friends is going to be tough for me. I'm thinking that my loneliness is going to get to me. Sure, the coming break from school in December will be nice, but I'll still have lots of work to do (and I mean LOTS of work). Basically, i'll still be feeling the stress of work while out of school. That, and spending the time with my friends is hard. I just got over something girl-related recently that took much longer than I expected and hurt quite a bit. I'm fine now, but seeing some of my friends with their near perfect-seeming relationships that have been dating for several months probably won't help. Holidays tend to bring out that emotion of love that others seem to have so easily returned to them that I don't.

But hey, I think i'll be ok. I mean, it could always be worse. Like, in Don_G's case, I think my problems seem petty compared to his (big hug, buddy...hope everything works out for you :hug:). That, and I might find someone who would like me back in the time. Who knows, I've seen weirder shit happen. But, I still dread the holidays and I have a feeling of imminent pain. Sorry about the bitching about something that isn't even for sure, I just wanted to let this out because i've been thinking about this for a few days.

(oh, and after looking at the way I typed all this, that doesn't sound a thing like me talking. :P)