Reply #54: When George and Laura got married, [View All]

[GrpCaptMandrake]

being Repiglicans, they had practiced abstinence. So neither was very savvy in the ways of love.

George, being dim in the first place, was particularly perplexed.

Finally, Laura said "George, take that thing you play with and put it where I pee."

So George jumped out of bed and threw his bowling ball in the sink!"

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A Pediatrician, a Podiatrist and an HMO Executive die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, Peter asks the Pediatrician for his qualifications. He says "I took care of thousands of sick babies and helped them live better lives." St. Pete says "Go on in," and looks to the Podiatrist, who says "I made it possible for people to walk without pain. I took care of diabetics and helped extend their lives."

Again, St. Peter says "Go on in," and looks at the HMO Executive, who says "Well, I made it possible for many families to have more affordable healthcare."

St. Peter thinks for a minute and says "Tell ya what. You can come in, but there's a hitch: you can only stay three days, and after that you can go to hell."