Reply #50: You should pick me [View All]

[noamnety]

I'm a married middle-aged woman, but I think you should pick me anyway to be your online boyfriend.

1. I'm observant. For instance, I see that your photo has excellent color balance - the hair, the arches, and the terracota pot all go nicely together. The plant, the green things you're holding, and the chair all match quite well. And then the sky behind the arches, the shirt, and the table under the potted plant - perfect matches on the shades of blue. So you can be sure that if you log in with a new outfit or a new haircut, I'll notice and make a suitable complimentary comment.

2. I'm independent. If you don't write to me for days on end (or, like, ever), I'll be fine with that. I won't turn into one of those frighteningly insecure stalkerish boyfriends that expects you to spend every waking minute amusing me.

3. I'm learning a new piece on the flute. I'm not sure I'm hitting the high notes in tune. But it's okay, because I'm just an online boyfriend. So you can tell me how lovely it sounds, without actually having to suffer through it. It's a win-win situation.

4. My husband knows lots about cars, so if you have one and it breaks down, I can probably tell him the symptoms and give you an accurate diagnosis. It would be like you're married to one of the car talk guys - but without all the belching and stuff.