Reply #28: that comment from your son warmed my heart [View All]

[idgiehkt]

I'd love to know my heritage is more diverse than I suspect, maybe someday I'll find out something interesting.

I think you are handling things perfectly. If she has internalized some of the racism that her grandparents had she is already working through it with your validation and support from the way it sounds. Sometimes adults need validation when shocking events occur just like little kids do. I remember seeing a show where they placed a baby on a surface that was partially transparent and the baby would hesistate before crawling over the see-through part. He would look up at his mom and judge whether to go forward over it or not based on her facial expression; when the doctors told the women to show fear, the baby wouldn't go forward, but when they told the mothers to smile and reach out for the baby to cross the glass, the baby would crawl forward holding eye contact with the mother. I guess Mrs. R. is shell-shocked right now, and you are closest to her heart so she is seeking validation and support for you and you are giving it to her. With a man like you at her side she will work through this just fine. :hug: