Reply #28: Dear Chuck Chillout, [View All]

[Dr. Strange]

Here is my three-step process, guaranteed to accomplish your goal.

First step: Ask her out and treat her like a lady.
Second step: Tell her she's the one you're dreaming of.
Third step: Take her in your arms and never let her go.
I swear by the left teat of Persephone, that with these steps, you'll win her love.

Oh, my apologies; this won't smite your enemies. Let's see, the best way to smite your enemies is to hire them and make them your wage slave. Or hire me to become their boss. I swear by the other teat of Persephone, that I will drain their spirit within weeks!



I even have a money-back guarantee. What do you have to lose? (Other than your soul, of course, but you'll be losing that anyway once my reign of terror begins.)

Sincerely,

Cthulhu, the Bossy