We fought the law and the (pause) law won... well, actually, the law didn't do so well... [View All]

[jobycom]

So these three cops come into our business and want to do a routine check of merchandise, which I won't describe just to keep from being easily identifiable. They were looking for stolen goods or signs that we deal in them, and it's a fairly routine inspection, but rarely actually carried out around her.

So we were like, cool, mi casa es su casa, proud to have our fine law enforcement friends around. Two of the cops were laid back, smiling at us and seeming rather uncomfortable with the way their compatriot was handling things. That cop, the third cop, was this half pint banty rooster who wanted to scare us even though we had just agreed to cooperate. So he started telling us all the penalties we could acrue (in his own words, never once citing an ordinance or law), how many tickets he could write, how often he had to write tickets to other business owners who failed to respect his autharatay. He stood there with his legs apart, ticket clipboard out, head cocked back, in all his Cartman-esque glory.

Cool, we said again. We already said we'd help you out, so we don't understand the tude, but go about your business. One of our owners--the liberal one--accompanies the guy around the place. The guy immediately starts making demands. "Show me this, what's over there," and our laid back former hippie owner who hates confrontations just went along.

Finally bad-ass bubba decides he's not getting enough cooperation, even though he has to check maybe ten items. He orders one of our employees to stop doing his job and start moving stuff around to make it easier for him to check these ten items, tells my boss to go get the other employees to stop what they are doing and come help him out. My boss says "Wait, we're running a business here, is that really part of the law?"

So Wyatt Bubba goes Dirty Harry on him. "I can have you arrested, right now. I can cuff you for failing to comply with a lawful order and haul you off in front of your employees and your customers. Is that what you want?"

Well, good old hippie boss is quiet and non-confrontational, but he ain't stupid or weak. His back stiffens like Leonidus's men defending the gap at Thermopylae. "Wait a minute, we're cooperating. What gives you this right?" More threats followed, including the standard "We can shut you down until you comply" bit, but Hippie Boss has gotten pissed. You won't like Hippie Boss when he's pissed (unless he's on your side).

Cops finally go away, assuring us we haven't heard the last of this. Hippie Boss mutters "Damn right we haven't heard the last of this," and calls his son. His son is politically connected (liberally) works with local and state officials, and knows the mayor.

Son calls his friend, the mayor. Two days later, Wyatt Bubba Cop calls Hippie Boss. "I'm real sorry about any misunderstandings we might have had. Apparently my sense of humor and some of the gentle suggestions I made were taken as serious by you. I apologize for the misunderstanding." Hippie Boss--There was no misunderstanding, you threatened to ticket me, cuff me, and arrest me at my place of business. Napoleon Complex Cop--No, I never threatened those things, I don't know where you got that idea. Hippie Boss--We have a dozen employees and two customers who are fellow small business owners who were in the store when you threatened it as witnesses. Bubba Cop--Um... Really... Um... Can't we work out something? Hippie Boss--I'm only going to talk to your supervisor from now on. Don't harrass me again or I'll file a complaint. Bubba Cop--Yes sir.

My boss is my new hero. :rofl: