Reply #21: It seems as though you're starting to heal, Trajan. [View All]

[I Have A Dream]

I'm so sorry for your pain. I don't know why we feel such shame when things like this happen to us. I've felt the same way. When this happened to me, I've put up a brave front. (The tears of a clown...) I didn't want anyone to pity me. However, because I didn't really let people know how I was really feeling, I didn't get the support that I needed. (How could my friends and family know that I needed support if I didn't tell them? They thought I was fine when I felt as though I was dying inside.)

Twenty years is a long time. It happened to me after ten years, and, even though I realized that it was for the best right away, my entire being was shattered because of the betrayal. Because I didn't let anyone know of the pain I felt, it probably made it worse because I held everything inside when I was not by myself. The worst part was the betrayal because it made it impossible for me to trust for a long, long time.

However, little by little, things got better until finally I had healed. I don't know when it happened, but one day, I felt alive again and my life no longer revolved around what had happened to me.

Please don't feel shame -- you did nothing that warrants feeling that way. You were doing the best that you could with the cards that you had been dealt.

I hope that you can heal more now that you've been able to finally share with us. Most if not all of us have been in your shoes before.