Reply #13: I could really enjoy being a hermit [View All]

[Coyote_Bandit]

As is, I tend to be reclusive. Always have been.

When I was very young a sibling died suddenly in an accident. In addition to the trauma of loss I had some unusual spiritual experiences at the time (to me anyway) and so I felt very different from my peers from a young age.

I was raised in a rural area about 20 miles from the nearest small town (and school). All the other girls close to my age had moved out of the surrounding area before I reached the age of 12. I was 19 or 20 before I had my own transportation. I did not participate in a lot of the activities that my peers did. It is not something that I regret. I was the kid in high school who was largely unknown - and unnoticed. Again, it is not something I regret.

I have always been very independent. And a bit stubborn. Something of a free thinker. And introspective and inquisitive. I think that people watching is fabulously entertaining. Interacting with a lot of folks is quite another matter. It wears me out. I have always had friends - but only a few that I would consider close. I like it this way.

If I could do anything I wanted to do I would move to a remote area, build a home that is energy efficient and self-sustaining, and earn a living as a writer and social commentator. That is a fairly reclusive lifestyle.

While I am not unhappy about the social implications of being a bit reclusive, I must say that it has done nothing to advance my career or employment status. I don't have a large network of professional colleagues. There have been times when my work was unnoticed and unrecognized. And there have been times when I would have benefited from aggressively pursuing some acknowledgment or personal relationships that carried professional implications.

Personally, I have never had a lot of problems and conflicts with individuals or cliques. I think that is probably because I have always been something of an outsider - at least from my own perspective. I've never tried to be anything else. I've limited my close relationships and in many ways I feel like I have chosen my friendships - and with them my community. Through the years I have developed new relationships and I have let others go. Most recently a friend of some 20 years relocated to another state. I let her go and have not sought to maintain the relationship. Several years before she moved she had become enamored with the philosophies of Ayn Rand - and then with the Republican party. There is both a literal and a philosophical distance between us that has made it easy to allow the relationship to diminish. Though I do wish her and her family well.

Just my thoughts.....