Reply #16: some of us just dont like the political game playing [View All]

[marions ghost]

and one-upping that goes on in workplaces, in volunteer groups, in support groups, spiritually oriented groups, academia etc you name it...everywhere there are groups. Personally I find it time-consuming and boring. And yet I believe in groups, especially support/affinity groups. I think it IS possible to find groups where this does not happen much. But in the successful ones I've seen there was a conscious effort to establish 'ground rules' of cooperation and check the worst of dominant behavior. Powermongers and other types of social "Hogs" were not welcome, but everybody else was. The Hogs didn't hang around because it wasn't fertile ground for them.

So what is a *positive* name for those like us--"individualists"?
--as opposed to loners, hermits, recluses, anti-social and all those not so complimentary terms?

Interesting that you are a Leo as usually Leos are very out front and quite at home jockeying for position in groups. I'm a Sag (some days extrovert) but with Scorpio rising, so I can go into my
protective shell again as fast as a fiddler crab on the beach (which I think is a problem in relationships, as people see that as inconsistent). But I find it useful, especially if I detect a person in a group might be one of those energy sucker types, I go invisible. In one large group I was in, a very dominant person was able to seize the helm and steer the whole group in her direction, aided by an army of henchwomen (it was not an exclusively womens' group but women were in the majority ;( ) Somewhat like the good old pResident of the USA, she managed to retain the helm for too long and head the organization toward the rocks. It remains to be seen whether new leadership can undo the damage. She played the political "you scratch my back..." game to the hilt. Basically a very insecure person who always demanded her way or the highway. She projected "Strength" and so people bought into her agenda regardless of whether it made any sense or not (again like supporters of the neocons).

So (these Q don't call for a literal answer maybe) what do you do to protect yourself? What are your defenses when you feel ganged up on or abused? You seem to be in a situation of trying to figure out how best to get beyond the 'push-pull' of groups...any clues or wisdom for you and or us? Just trying to shine the light on the problem here, while keeping it in general terms.