Reply #11: I was glad to read this because it validated the way I'd been feeling [View All]

[Flying Dream Blues]

since about November. I wasn't really in my body...couldn't get anything done, couldn't find inspiration in anything...sort of zombie-walked through the whole holiday extravaganza (I'm sort of the grand poobah of our annual holiday-palooza...a job that doesn't always resonate in the best of seasons but which I feel compelled to pull off in a way that...well, doesn't always feel based in spirit).

The relief I expected after that was over didn't come. HUH? Usually the modified hibernation I'm able to get away with for a week or so after the holidays, usually so recharging to my spirit, just seemed to make it worse. And it also seemed that I was not alone...EVERYONE was in a funk, some benign, some NOT so benign. I kept thinking it was just Mars Rx in my 12th house in the mental sign of Gemini that was kicking my butt...but if that was it, wow. Dark night of the soul. I was questioning WHY I was still here...the whole human pity-party thing...can I just get my badge and get outta here? UGH. This is where self-loathing/low self-esteem kicked in.

Now, I think I understand a little better. And, I'm back in town (metaphorically) and ready to kick some butt and do what I came here to do. Thanks be to whomever, and may I never forget to be grateful, or to remember that there is always a dawn even after the darkest night.

Love to all!
:grouphug: