Reply #5: My first response when I read Dowd's column was [View All]

[TayTay]

Oh No! Sales of small hand-held electronic devices are about to go up again in key American cities. (Sorry, that was my first response. Really.)

BTW, you are not a bad Feminist. Feminism is about choice, not about fulfilling anyone's expectation of a woman. You can choose what to do with your life, not fulfill a predetermined outline. Making the choice to stay home and postpone a career in order to raise kids is a valid choice. To believe otherwise, you have to accept the RW argument that Feminism means turning your back on others and on ties to family. This is a false argument from the getgo. It never meant that.

RWers like Puke Limbaugh and others tried to discredit Feminism as an essentially anti-social and anti-authoritarian movement that will result in tearing down the known order and devaluating mens place in the world. Not so. Well, not in the way they mean it. It is about choice, about believing that a woman can make choices for herself based on her own observations about what is the best use of her time, talents and ambitions.

I am something of a healer in my family during times of stress. This is a 'soft' position that utilizes compassion, insight and the ability to reconcile factions in order to achieve harmony and peace. (I am older, I am allowed to have insights into how I fit into the world that are plainly, humbly true. I know that in my family I will always be called into a crisis as a mediator and councilor. It has happened so many times, I am accustomed to the role.) Parts of this role are historically assigned to the feminine. So what? I do it not because it is my cosmically assigned role, but because I am good at it. (I was the first one my Rethug brother called when he was dealing with the fact that his son had impregnated a 15 year old. He was 18. I was the first one at the hospital when we were told my Dad was terminal and they needed a decision on when to pull life-support. And so forth. I get to be crisis-girl.)

Feminism was never about building women a new career-oriented template. It was about blowing up templates altogether. Maybe if you blow up women's templates, you blow up the ones for men as well. Then people get to actually choose what they want to do in life. And that is indeed threatening to the established order.