Reply #13: I only tangentially caught some discussion about this. [View All]

[ThomCat]

The idea that any man might be out to specifically murder women, be femicidal, really gets a whole lot of people horribly defensive. It is as if they will not allow women to be acknowledged as targeted and hunted victims. Any violence against women MUST be reduced to something incidental, isolated, unexplainable, and therefore ultimately minor.

By insisting that he was a nice, normal guy who snapped they can insist that something, or someone made him snap. It's not his fault. Either directly, or through implications it comes back around to somehow being her fault. She drove him to it. Something she did, or something about her must have been wrong.

The most insulting and agonizing aspect of all of this is that they don't seem to need any evidence that she did anything to make him snap. It's as if it's a self-evident explanation. Even if you can show that everything she did was reasonable and justified, it doesn't change their minds, and it still changes the tone of the discussion to analyzing her actions instead of his.

I'm coming into this whole discussion late, and now I'm digging into this a bit and getting very emotional about this. It is mind-boggling and horribly offensive that people would make excuses for this man and keep trying so hard to put the blame on his ex wife.