Reply #9: This is a sad day. Now Stephanopoulos will have NOTHING for his "Sunday Funnies" segment. [View All]

[Buzz Clik]

(telephone rings at ABC studios)

George: Yeah. This is Stephanopoulos.

Receptionist: George -- Rupert Murdoch on line 1.

George: Murdoch? Oh, geez. I should have stayed in bed. Alright. (hits button for line 1)

George: Rupert! How the hell are you?

Murdoch: Not good, George. Not good.

George: I'm sorry to hear that. What happened -- did they actually hold free elections in Venezuela? I know that pisses you off.

Murdoch: Not funny. I'll have that snarky Hugo's balls bronzed and hanging on my wall someday. But that's not it. What's with your Sunday Funnies?

George: Don't follow you, Rupert.

Murdoch: Every week -- John Stewart, Stephan Colbert, David Letterman, that Scottish sonofabitch.

George: Yeah, ok. So... what's the problem.

Murdoch: What's the problem? Dammit, man! What about the Half Hour News Hour? You never show anything from that show.

George: That's not true, Rupert. After you called my boss and his boss and finally the President of ABC, they told me I had to put on at least one segment from the Half Hour every week. And we do.

Murdoch: I shouldn't have had to call, and there should be more than one segment.

George: Rupert, that show sucks. It blows. It blows and sucks. It is the least funny show on cable other than the horrible thing where they operate on fat people to make them skinny.

Murdoch: Yes, I know. Actually, that's why I called. I'm pulling it. But just temporarily. Until I get new anchors.

George: Well, Rupert, that's a great idea.

Murdoch: I want you.

George: What?!!!

Murdoch: Yes. I want you to host it.

George: No.

Murdoch: George, don't make me call your boss again...

George: No! Now leave me alone. (slams down phone. yells to outer office) Becky! I am taking NO MORE CALLS. And if that asshole Murdoch calls again, tell him I died!