Reply #3: I had to press mute. I cannot take one more word in that pitch [View All]

[malaise]

A good friend wrote this. I found it hilarious.
A West Indian's Palin Prayer:

Father Lord…

X prays dat after dis election, dat he never has tuh hear dat annoying high pitched screech that emanates from Sarah Palin’s piehole. When dat woman talks, X is sure dat thousands of garage doors open and shut. Thousands of dogs get irritated. De First Dude must be tone deaf. Good grief, X wud tek de voice of ah thousand Edith Bunkers over dat Palin pitch. X wud prefer tuh scape his fingernails against ah chalkboard for de rest of his life, dan hear one more minute of dat woman’s voice… Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, X wud prefer tuh wake every morning wid Margaret Thatcher’s wrinkled butterfly wings draped across his cheeks, dan hear dat oman’s voice.

And Father, while you’re at it, please lubricate Senator McGramps ole bones so dat he doesn’t have tuh squeak around like ah ole robot. It’s really hard on de eyes.

And, one more ting. Can Joe de alleged Plumber be returned tuh his rightful place, ah place filled of clogged shitholes… Wait? Sorry God. X’s bad. Joe is already colluding wid clogged shitholes on de stump…