Reply #9: On Responsibility -- [View All]

[Monica Benderman]

Kevin and I have known Cindy for three years. We know the system, the politics, the games and the attitudes as well; those that stand to destroy anyone who isn't strong enough to see through the illusion -- and believe me -- Cindy's strength came from her grief - the illusion of strength coming from the power of not wanting to let go of her son, and that illusion finally lost its power.

It's time for everyone to stand back and think seriously about what is happening in this country - how - why - and be honest with themselves about their role in the madness.

Many people have criticized me for addressing the responsibility of the American people in the situation we now find ourselves in. I have heard from people blaming Congress, the administration, the military - but these same people write and tell me that the "American people" were hornswoggled - duped - misled. I would be ashamed to think that the American people were so ignorant that they could be so easily duped.

Ignorance comes from being willing to be led. Ignorance comes from being lazy. Ignorance comes from not wanting to make a single decision for fear of it being the wrong decision. By counting on others we put in "leadership" positions to make our decisions for us we always have someone else to blame if they don't work. But I can guarantee -- if this war had done what we were told it would do in the time we were told it was going to do it, 90% of the people now blaming Congress would be accepting credit for voting them into office.

There is a reason Kevin and I continue to tell soldiers and families -- DO NOT LET YOURSELF BE LED BY THE MOVEMENT -- make sure you take care of yourselves, speak as you feel you must, not allowing yourself to be led by the promises of those who only want someone else to do their work for you. DO NOT ALLOW THOSE IN THE MOVEMENT TO LEAD YOU TO DECISIONS THAT COULD EVENTUALLY DESTROY ALL YOU HAVE WORKED FOR.

That is what happened to Cindy -- it is what cannot happen to another American willing to step out and try to make a difference.

THIS COUNTRY is addicted to letting others do their work for them. That has got to stop if we want to make any headway at all in
a positive direction. This country is addicted to money, drugs, alcohol, and all the trappings - the superficial illusion of doing work -

The mistake Cindy made was in thinking that any of the people who claimed to be by her side were her friends. How could they be?? They never knew her. Cindy was and continues to be a grieving mother -- and this country, in its inevitable way of glorifying the macabre, lost sight of her humanity and her grief and used her in the most severe way possible.


Here at Fort Stewart this past month we are watching soldiers deploy for their third and fourth times. In one year between deployments there were 191 cases of child abuse due to combat related stress. In one year between deployments there were 138 cases of spousal abuse due to combat related stress. There are flashing signs proudly announcing 29 days since the last alcohol related driving fatality ON FT. STEWART -

My husband, Kevin Benderman, went to prison for over a year -- because he actually cared enough to write and speak about what the soldiers he served with were facing -- and neither one of us would shut up, even when threatened with all that we were -- horrific stories were related over two years -- even as Kevin was incarcerated in a Loss of Privilege bay to keep him from talking we still did found ways to tell the truth --

WHO CARED ENOUGH TO LISTEN???????????????

Kevin and I understand completely what Cindy was dealing with -- the American People haven't the first clue what it means to work hard for something -- to put everything you have into something -- only to realize you are doing it for people who just don't care.

Well -- it's time for things to change. It's time for those who do the real work to be given the credit they deserve -- because real work is being done - even when those who claim to be working are taking the credit they most assuredly do not deserve.

In February we began a project designed to bring real benefit to the soldiers who return so disheartened by the very same issues Cindy has discussed - an American public who never did care about their service.

Our soldiers join -- my husband joined -- because he believed in this country. He felt it his sworn duty to uphold and defend the LAWS of this country -- for it is by following the Constitutional LAW that we are all kept free. But even as he and the soldiers he served with went to war believing in defending our freedoms, we learned that was not this war was. The American people quickly forgot the reasons our soldiers volunteered to serve -- and became enamored with the issues of the war leaving the humanity and trust of our soldiers by the wayside.

Every single soldier who is now serving, every single veteran who has died in that service -- serves, and has died, in vain until the American people wake up and figure out -- freedom means accepting the responsibility that is theirs -- to live responsibly, with common sense, and with the same commitment to the LAWS of this country and respect for their fellow citizens that they are now trying to hold our government accountable to.

We can work together to make the changes necessary -- but no one has the right to sit back and write letters of support to those on the frontlines of this movement and believe that is work equal to their effort. If that is the belief -- then it is a miserable failure of a belief.

We need the American people to work with us --- we can lay out a plan - we can show what our experiences have taught us is needed -- but we need people who make the promises of committing to help us to actually keep their word.

Kevin and I are asking the American people to stand up -- and to take the action necessary to see that the work gets done.

It is time for action -- of a very real kind.

Only the truly serious need apply -- and we have enough experience to know if you will keep your word.

http://www.BendermanDefense.org http://www.BendermansBridge.com

We need to do this for all those who have given -- and given -- and given -- and did so when they really had nothing left to give.

Monica and Kevin Benderman
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