Pentagon reveals rejected chemical weapons (For a SEX BOMB)

[doxieone]

THE Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.



Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.




http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg18524823.800&print=true

[The Zanti Regent]

This has to be from THE ONION, right???????????????????????

Whoever made this story up deserves a million dollar bonus!

[doxieone]

2. Every day is an "Onion" with Team Bush...

Drudge has this story as his headline about a sex bomb.

[DulceDecorum]

16. Been there, done with that.

Fri 24 May 2002
BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.
<snip>
Originally, the marines had sent patrols into several villages in the mountains near the town of Khost, hoping to catch up with al-Qaeda suspects who last week fought a four-hour gun battle with soldiers of the Australian SAS. The hardened troops, their faces covered in camouflage cream and weight down with weapons, radios and ammunition, were confronted with Afghans wanting to stroke their hair.

"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."
http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?id=561752002&tid=1

[0007]

34. The Scot is pretty funny!

[NuttyFluffers]

40. and now i think i've seen everything and can die happy.

:yourock: :evilgrin:

oh my god that's sooooooo funny! :D

i guess several years of taliban repression can do that to the gay community there. but god how i love the lead sentence:

"BRITISH marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat - being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers."

i am now having visions of 700 bollywood extras running across those gorgeous green hills from the 'sound of music' dressed like afghani farmers with make-up on making kissing noises chasing this elite crack troop of soldiers, fleeing for their lives.

:7

i'm probably gonna laugh myself to sleep, now.

[Cicero]

1. "You dropped a bomb on me, baby..." nt

[Name removed]

3. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Dickie Flatt]

4. Drudge gets call from masters, changes headline to slam Clinton

Drudge headline at 03:08:00 GMT: "U.S. MILITARY WANTED 'SEX BOMB'"

Then, he got "the call." Drudge headline at 03:46:00: "CLINTON PENTAGON TOYED WITH 'SEX BOMB'"

[aikido15]

24. BLC

Blame it on Clinton syndrome.

[NV Whino]

5. I love the aphrodisiac and halitosis approach.

Now if you combined the two, you could really harass the troops. Oh, excuse me, I mean enemy.

[Cicero]

6. Didn't Woody Allen come up with the "Orgazmatron"??? nt

[jhain]

9. yes.. In "Sleeper'

I must have seen it 20x -ASK ME ANYTHING

[BiggJawn]

37. And the "Sex Ray" in "Flesh Gordon"

But all the radio ads screamed "DEATH Ray bombards Earth!"

[Sydnie]

7. This would make a very funny movie

if it wasn't true. We (as in this administration) are really sick suckers.

[Liberal Veteran]

8. Um....but isn't homosexuality A CHOICE?

Hasn't that been the government's line all along?

[TankLV]

26. Sure beats the "god was I drunk last night" excuse.

But the marines weren't gay - because everyone knows that only gay marines kiss back!

This is soooo rich on soooo many levels.

Where to begin.
Where to begin.

[Occulus]

28. If pheromones are involved,

I'd say not, AND, being gay myself, I'm totally behind this kind of weapon. If "they" have a cultural issue with homosexuality in general, I say use it against them.

I have a hard time equating concentrations of substances produced by the human body or concentrations of substances the human body is built to accept as a form of banned chemical weaponry.

All that prudish defensiveness aside, this is deliciously funny. Sooooo, it's a choice, huh? OOOooooookaaaaaaaayyyyyy.

[TroubleMan]

10. Wasn't there a "Get Smart" movie about this?

LOL....nice pun there too...."blow" to morale.

[Cooley Hurd]

33. "The Nude Bomb." Ironic, since Maxwell Smart now heads the CIA...

"...missed al Qaeda by THIS much. Sorry, Chief..."

[reprobate]

48. Now THAT's funny!

[Lautremont]

11. Was Don Adams involved in this by any chance? n/t

[whistle]

12. I think some of those chemical weapons were spilled at...

...the campu7s of Jerry Falwell's Liberty University

[bobthedrummer]

13. Here's some of what we had in the 1990's in the US non-lethal arsenal

Non-Lethal Weapons:
Terms And References
Robert Bunker USAF/INSS Occasional Paper 15 (1996)
http://www.angelfire.com/or/mctrl/nonlethal.html

[DonMeyer]

14. Promisekeeper's Rally?

Exploding one of those at a Promisekeeper's Rally would be a great act of civil disobediance.

[The Zanti Regent]

31. Now, why didn't they detonate one of these at the GOP convention?

Let Fox News try and explain THOSE goings on...

[Rush1184]

49. I would pay so much to see that....

Damn... if that happened...

It would make my year. especially if it happened in the middle of a live fox broadcast... damn. Too funny.

[FizzFuzz]

15. Afterwards, they can privatize it and make mega-gazillions

selling it to the Amurkin public.

Oh, I could go alot of places with this joke, but I'm too tired to be bothered!!

[merwin]

17. Sex bomb sex bomb, you're my sex bomb!

[NYC]

18. This ranks right up there with

trying to make Castro's beard fall out.

[uppityperson]

19. Best laugh for today.

Rats, halitosis, sunburn and sex. hahahahahahahahhaa

[KingoftheJungle]

20. What the hell was it they were planning to use and where can I get it?

No I'm being serious, I really want that sex bomb.

[Jamastiene]

47. Me too!

I used to be against the mentality of lesbians who try to turn straight women, but lately, the idea is beginning to appeal to me. I hate Rockingham, NC. There are no non homophobic people here. Including one lesbian I know who hates gay men. Wtf? I don't get people. I have officially heard it all now. Nothing will ever shock me again.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

21. What if they exploded the sex bomb and the halitosis bomb simultaneously?

That would really stink!

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

22. Ah, Flipper.

[Blue_Tires]

23. make love not war???

FINALLY a Pentagon project we can all get 'behind'

[TankLV]

25. Where was this when I was younger and single!

Damn - a day late and a dollar short.

Glad to see they're thinking about the IMPORTANT things!

(sarcasm off)

Your tax dollars at work under repukes.

[Voltaire99]

27. Great idea. Test it on the US Army, first. ;-)

Testing it on our own side would fit into the long tradition of using our soldiers as guinea pigs, one that includes surreptitiously feeding them LSD and bathing them in atomic radiation. You can always count on Uncle Sam to take care of ya. ;-)

Heh heh--call it the Lincoln Bomb.

[Ganja Ninja]

32. Test it at the next GOP convention. n/t

[NuttyFluffers]

43. what makes you think they'll notice much of a difference ;-)

heh, makes me remember a gay marine joke:
how can you tell between a nelly marine and a straight marine? because the straight marine grabs his ankles and holds his own legs up, soldier!

oooh, sorry that might've been naughty for the teeny-bop crowd :7

naughty fluffers, naughy :spank: .... kinky!

[NickB79]

29. A blow to morale, huh?

Nope, not gonna say it :-)

[spinbaby]

30. That is too funny!

At least they had the sense to reject the plan.

[sffreeways]

35. Obsessed

these people are just obsessed with homosexuality. Something has got to be done to get them all out of the closet. Maybe this is the answer. Somebody has to develope a way to get them all to let down their defenses and come out of the closet once and for all so we can all go back to being Americans. If a sex bomb is what it takes to save us then so be it.

I was thinking that all of us hot blooded homos have a duty to our country to seduce these closet cases so they get it out of their system. When you identify your neighbor as a conservative homophobe you owe it to your country to help them through their coming out process. We would all be alot happier if flaming cases like Jerry Fallwell could be the queen he is. Some big hairy bear type needs to sweep him off his feet.

"Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says."

I guess after some carefull thought they realized rather than a blow to morale...pardon the pun ?

[d.l.Green]

46. Would make a good defense for some soldiers who get caught..

Some of the bomb must've leaked out. We lost control, silly us...

[LizW]

36. This sounds like a hasty excuse

a couple of scientists came up with the explain getting caught doing the dirty late nights in the lab.

"Uh, we're working on a new weapon...and it must have leaked out into the air. It's a....sex....weapon. Yeah! That's it! A sex weapon that makes the soldiers irrestibly attracted to each other. And we must have spilled some of it. Yeah, that's the ticket."

[tk2kewl]

38. Talk about friendly fire incidents.

:P

[Zerex71]

39. One question -

Were the Lords of Acid consulted on this? :)

Mike

[NuttyFluffers]

42. "i want to sit on your face"

unfortunately the answer must be no, otherwise the weapon would be rolling off the conveyer belts.

damn you! now i'm laughing myself stupid thinking of a big, burly troop mouth "drink my honey."

:yourock:

[bloodyjack]

41. MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR

This would be the battle to end all battles

[mumon]

44. But... this was done in "The Nude Bomb"

That first great "Get Smart" film.

[Moderator]

45. kick

..

[Tinoire]

50. Just amazing. Absolutely amazing. n/t