Guardsman claims Iraq service led him to lose custody dispute

[Mari333]

This is so sad on so many levels.
http://www.mlive.com/newsflash/michigan/index.ssf?/base/news-27/1124667878269330.xml&storylist=newsmichigan

GRAND LEDGE, Mich. (AP) — Army National Guard Spc. Joe McNeilly claims that he lost shared custody of his 10-year-old son because he was serving in Iraq.

"You want to make a soldier cry, you take his son away," McNeilly, 33, of Grand Ledge, told the Lansing State Journal for a Sunday story. "It's devastating."

The boy's mother, her lawyer and the Ingham County Friend of the Court disagree, saying McNeilly didn't lose custody because of his deployment. But McNeilly is getting some support in the custody dispute.

[NNN0LHI]

1. More to this story than meets the eye

>>>Don Reisig, director of the Ingham County Friend of the Court, said confidentiality laws bar him from saying much. He said the court's recommendation in May had nothing to do with McNeilly's military service.

But a report from a court hearing said the court favored Joey's mother, Holly Erb of Mason, because she was the "day to day caretaker and decision maker in the child's life" while McNeilly was deployed.

Erb's lawyer, Theresa Sheets of Lansing, said Erb wanted full custody because she no longer found McNeilly to be a fit father.

"This has absolutely nothing to do with his military service," Sheets said.<<<

[soup]

2. a bit more here-

They had shared custody for almost 5 years. She petitioned for sole custody before he left, so it appears this isn't a new development. He agreed to temporary full custody before he left and that it would be revisited upon his return. Her attorney says there's more than what's posted in the article below (which also mentions child support), but she doesn't want to disparage Mr. McNeilly.

her lawyer, Theresa
>>Sheets pointed to the court referee's report that made the case against McNeilly.

The report says that McNeilly treats his son more like a friend than a son, and "sees the child as a counterpart in his military adventures."

It also questions some of McNeilly's correspondence to his son while on active duty.

McNeilly said one postcard showed a soldier holding a gun. Another showed a soldier spearing a tire as if it was an enemy.

The court report says McNeilly also told his son how to kill people in multiple ways, and that he wrote his son "the next time someone touches you and leaves bruises on you - I'll be ready."

McNeilly said the statements were taken out of context. And he believes the postcards were appropriate for a then-8-year-old boy.

But Sheets said the correspondence crossed the line.

"My client is making sure to turn off the TV when the news reports deaths in Iraq and (McNeilly) was engaging in behaviors that brought fear," Sheets said.<<
http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050821/NEWS01/508210516/1001/news