Authorities Warning Women Not to Wear Gel Bras (on airplanes)

[The Sushi Bandit]

Authorities Warning Women Not to Wear Gel Bras As Worries of Possible Female Bombers Increase
August 16, 2006 11:19 AM

Richard Esposito and Anna Schecter Report:

U.S. authorities are advising women not to wear gel bras on airplanes as information developed in the foiled London plot points to an expanding role for women in smuggling explosives on to an aircraft.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2006/08/authorities_war.html

[karlrschneider]

1. What about gel tits?

:eyes:

[HockeyMom]

13. I presume you mean silicone breast implants?

Would show up in an exray. Do all women over an A cup now have to be exrayed for carrying a concealed WMD?????

[karlrschneider]

Yeah, but I was only halfway being snarky...

I mean, seriously, couldn't a suicide 'bomber' be a female with implants filled with binary
explosives? (I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person to think about this possibility...) :eyes:

(I know you knew what I meant, just tryin'a make sure nobody misunderstands)
;-)

[geomon666]

36. Does this mean we finally get to get away with calling them Bazookas?

yuk yuk yuk yuk

[northzax]

61. nope

given that your average binary explosive while in liquid form has to be kept at around 40 degrees or less, I think the implants are right out.

now implanted semtex is an interesting thought.

[Tesha]

81. You're missing the whole point of the "binary" explosive.

The two liquids are not especially volatile or dangerous until mixed.
Two liquids, two containers, one bomber...

Tesha

[northzax]

85. and a refrigerated room

and perfectly controlled conditions to mix the TATP in.

Look, there may well be binary explosives that will, in fact, work in these conditions. TATP isn't one of them. First off, you need to keep the Acetone/Perozide mix below about 40 degrees F until you mix in the Sufuric Acid. Once you start to mix in the sulfuric acid (make sure you are wearing a respirator, fumes from the reaction are noxious) the reaction becomes exothermic and heats up. the only problem is, of course, that above about 40 degrees it becomes unstable and loses most of its potency. Above about 70 degrees, it has a nasty tendency to go boom, killing you and destroying the lav, but not doing much else. So, while stirring constantly and keeping it in an ice bath, you drop the Sulfuric Acid in, drop by drop. you'll need to go slowly, to avoid the thermal reaction. I figure a couple of hours, under these conditions (since you are stirring alone, can't put two people in the bathroom and have enough room to mix) you then need to let the newly mixed TATP settle for at least an hour, maybe two. So we're up to five hours of a guy in an airplane bathroom mixing chemicals that are giving off incredibly noxious fumes. And of course, you'd need a lot of replacement ice to keep your mixture cold, surely the flight attendents will bring it to you, right? or maybe a bunch of frozen gel packs.

this seem at all reasonable to you? if so, while you're in the bathroom, mind cooking up a bunch of Meth? it'd probably be easier and safer.

better living through chemistry.

[Tesha]

86. Do you figure TATP is the only possible binary explosive? (NT)

[northzax]

89. no, but it is the one these jokers were planning to use

and it is the easiest to come up with the materials for.

technically, of course, TATP is not actually an explosive, per se. but that's just a technical difference.

[indepat]

14. Wow, aren't some likely to get their gel tits in a wringer? "It's in my

notes."

[havocmom]

29. My busty daughter always gets a lot of attention

and is thinking of never flying again. License to leer is annoying.

[Skittles]

49. there's no license to leer, havocmom

you tell your daughter to point out their rudeness - WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ASSHOLE comes to mind. Those kind of guys are usually real cowards.

[AnneD]

57. There was a lawsuit...

involving some agents at the Sky Harbour airport in Phoenix. Seem they were screening nice looking women with a high degree of frequency. They managed to feel up the wrong woman and she sued and won I believe. Doess anyone else out there think they are getting over the top? I don't think the Israeli security does all of this crap and they have an excellent safety recor. We are just looking S-T-U-P-I-D.

[NYC]

92. I was frisked before getting on a plane to Israel.

That was about 25 years ago. I think they referred to it as "patted down."

[xultar]

2. And how are they going to be able to tell? Buhwawawa..

are these people nutz or what?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. I wonder how many attractive young women

are going to be inspected to ensure that they aren't wearing them...

[xultar]

19. I've got piercings...I bet they would think they were weapons cuz

I could beat them about the face with my boobs.

I bet I'll never be able to fly.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Might be difficult...

Then again, some people have metal pins in their joints and so on...
And I wonder what a pacemaker does to the scanners.

[damntexdem]

71. I'd be more worried about what the new scanners will do ...

to pacemakers.

[geomon666]

37. I don't know about you.

But I'll proudly volunteer to serve my country as a an exploding bra inspector.

[xultar]

52. I bet you would! Buhwawawa!

[savemefromdumbya]

39. boob gel detecting devices

every airport will spend millions of taxpayers money on this LOL!

[neuvocat]

After a while you have to wonder

what the point of flying is. The airlines lose money whenever an alert gets sent out because people are suddenly afraid to fly.

[childslibrarian]

6. I agree

At some point it is easier to drive--is that what they are getting at?

[ckramer]

83. but what if gas is 5 bucks per gallon?

[mike_c]

8. fear has little to do with it....

I simply won't be treated that way. I'll happily accept some risk in exchange for my dignity and for being treated with respect. "Security" isn't worth being treated like a suspect.

[cornermouse]

10. That's pretty much what I've been thinking.

Why fly? We have cars, buses, trains, and cruise ships.

[Megahurtz]

3. ROFLMAO!!!

:rofl:

And just how are these Authorities going to find out?:eyes:

:rofl:

[Kagemusha]

12. Maybe the way you just mentally rejected.

You think they won't do just that if "that's what it takes"?

Though I imagine x-ray tech is what they'd prefer.

[havocmom]

31. One of the perks they will offer to brown-shirt wanna bees?

Get to feel up women and get paid

"...Money for nothin'
and the chicks are free"

Seriously, all this 'authority' shit appeals to the people who love to boss around others. The neocons, like the Nazis before them, seem to want to gather groups with a certain mind-set in positions of pseudo-authority. Not unlike the petty local authorities the Nazis used as puppets to keep people under control. Pick a bunch of half-sick control freaks and let them run amok just enough to ensure they are having a good time and will do anything you tell them to keep their positions.

Lots of bad shit went down. And will again.

[underpants]

66. in the 'Murkan tradition of great inventors

[benddem]

4. wow

what about the women who have gel or saline implants. Can't hardly take them off. This is just another example of complete overkill by these nazis. FEAR FEAR feel the Fear!!

[KamaAina]

5. I suppose those gel insoles are already covered by the shoe thing

"Are you gellin'?"

"Like Magellan!"

"FREEZE! Homeland Security! Drop the insoles AT ONCE!"

:eyes:

[sweetheart]

9. How do men prove their penis's are really real?

Are there going to have to be erection checks, just
to verify some terrorist does not sew on a confincing looking
phallus of C4 to some poor woman! How will they know! Its
time for public masturbation in airports to prove that all
the sex is real.

[DeSwiss]

16. Sweetheart..... ROFLMAO !!!!!

All right there buddy, whip it out there and get busy.... we have

[VegasWolf]

20. Sweetheart, let me know when you plan to go off flying!! Or, is that

"get off" flying?

[VegasWolf]

23. self-delete: misplaced comment! nt

[Der Blaue Engel]

21. And will transmen who pack and transwomen who wear

prosthetic breasts, not to mention cancer survivors with mastectomies, be forced to disrobe and remove their offending items?

You know, I wrote a scene like that once, about a tranny being stripped and charged with "gender fraud," but it was to display how horribly oppressive the society was. I had no idea it was a possible future.

[sweetheart]

27. Your scene will fit perfectly in the remake of ben hur

When ben hur is a muslim in present day judea and his
sister is taken away for having a faux breast after a mastectomy.

The police have no shame, nor do these shameless asset strippers,
taking us down to what our body parts our fashioned out of, and
whether the proportions are correct.

Gosh, if it were any more eugenic, one would wonder what happened,
that both world war 2 and the civil war were lost in a time machine
somewhere and we are dumped in to this universe by a cruel twist.

[MadMaddie]

34. This is the first thought that came to my mind....

This is a sign of laziness with the authorities watch...

[krispos42]

47. How about a fake scrotum?

They make fake nuts for dogs called Neuticles. What's to say they can't do that for guys?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuticles

"My that's a huge teabag you have there, sir."

"Why thank you, I've been exercising."

Ew ew ew! Mental floss time!

[AnneD]

75. Actually,

they make fake penis' (peni?)that are use in to fake drug urine tests
They even come in 'realistic' sizes and colours.
http://www.whizzinator.com/

[ItNerd4life]

53. That is a hilariously twisted thought

You scare me.

[heliarc]

84. Please check my penis and see if its real...

200 times... sorry had to tell the old joke.

[krispos42]

90. We can masterbate to the boob checks

Hell, we can masterbate WHILE performing boob checks... very efficient! We'll just need a goodly supply of cleaning materiels.

Damn, I just grossed myself out :rofl:

[Marie26]

11. You're kidding!

:rofl: So ridiculous.

[DRoseDARs]

15. Ya know, it IS possible to inject liquids other than silicon into implants

I'm just sayin'... :shrug:

[karlrschneider]

18. 'zackly...that's what I was sayin' too, above.

sheesh

[genieroze]

69. boob bombs?

:bounce::bounce: :nuke:

[Lisa]

17. "expanding" role?

Oh, they just couldn't resist that.

[VegasWolf]

24. Exploding tits!! Men, it's up to us to do the inspection! nt

[atomicdawg38]

25. self delete

[DinahMoeHum]

26. Aggghhhh!!! BOOBY TRAP !!! BOOBY TRAP !!

:rofl:

[gorbal]

28. Now THAT is giving people to many ideas...

Not to mention images they don't want to have in their heads.

[The Sushi Bandit]

30. and What about Bladder Bags!??

those poor people who have their bladder bags discreetly hidden will be publicly exposed!

That is horrible

[FlaGranny]

54. Also colostomy bags. Eeeekkk! n/t

[serryjw]

78. WOW! good question

n/t

[mccoyn]

55. And bladder injections.

It may be completely fictional, but on the show that ESPN did one of the football players had someone elses urine injected into his bladder so he would pass a drug test.

[damntexdem]

72. They'll be OK so long as they haven't ...

put the bags to their intended use.

[HuffleClaw]

32. official justification for ogling large-breasted women?

what a crock. i figure a real terrorist simply needs to send a couple of buxom gals in front of him in line to ensure a quick pass by the security pervs.

[achtung_circus]

33. Naw,

put the buxom lasses BEHIND you, so the crew wants to get you done with and move on to the girls.

That would work, unless security has females who don't care about the mammaries in line.

[Endangered Specie]

35. One of these days a terrorist is gonna put a stick of TNT up his ass...

and then what are they gonna do???

[The Sushi Bandit]

41. When I did stand-up comedy that bit was part of my act!

"if I was a terrorist I wouldnt put a bomb in a $3,000 laptop, too fuckin expensive!
I would stick it up my ass. Cause if I was going to blow up a plane at 30,000 feet, I would want to be the first to go!"

It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "blow it out your ass" too.

[damntexdem]

73. When you gotta go, ...

you gotta blow.

[meisje]

38. So when I say those t*ts are the bomb, I could be right!!

I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.

[Stand and Fight]

42. Phil Harmon played that part so damn well...

Cheers to you for remembering it! I had not thought of it in forever! :toast: That teared me up with laughter. Thanks!

[The Sushi Bandit]

67. I miss him!

Was watchin Pee Wee's Playhouse the other day with Phil playing "Captain Carl"

Genius

[Lithos]

40. Lends new meaning

To the phrase, that lady's a bombshell.

This is getting ridiculous. They can't detect C4 in shoes nor can they stop 12 year olds from getting on an airplane without a ticket, but they will defend us from gel bras. What's next, making women prove they don't have silicone implants?

Sheesh, enough already.

L-

[TaleWgnDg]

43. This thread sounds like a bunch of

towels-snapping juveniles! Geezuz.

[underpants]

65. That's not fair

Now THIS is like a bunch of towel slapping juveniles

[truthisfreedom]

44. that's too bad. so much for the scenery at the airport.

America, the land of the free. sorta. just do what the man says and stop trying to have fun or keep hydrated or look good.

[RamboLiberal]

45. As I've posted numerous times like the terrorist will tell

the TSA they are wearing Gel Bras, or bringing liquid explosive, etc.

I note that ABC is now reporting the plan to bring expolosive aboard as baby formula. From the OP linked article.

Authorities at Scotland Yard are questioning a husband and wife, suspects in the London terror plot, about allegations that they were planning to use their baby's bottle to hide a liquid bomb.

I just wanted to post this cause it was so pooh-poohed the other day when I posted the info from the Sun. My argument here is that by allowing baby formula and baby food aboard the TSA has just opened a big hole in their stupid "liquids and gels" banned rule.

[radfringe]

46. couple of questions

are they real or are they MAMO-rex?

If a TSA agent yells "BOOB" do the authorities tackle bush?

[krispos42]

48. Might make turbulence more fun....

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry... that scene from Airplane! leapt to mind immediately!

[depakid]

50. This is getting absurd

Kafka would be right at home in the 21st Century.

I reckon he'd be a media critic.

[depakid]

51. Kafka would be right at home

in 21st Century Amerika and Britain.

[olddad56]

56. As a true patriot, I will volunteer to inspect for these devices.

[Ramsey]

58. What about women who have had mastectomies?

And who use a gel prosthesis? This is getting ridiculously intrusive!!

[Lars39]

59. Those aren't cheap to replace and insurance companies

generally will only pay out for breast prosthesis every 2 years. So if a Barny Fife jabs a hole in your prosthesis, you're SOL.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

62. That was my first thought also

It's an emotionally sensitive issue for many women.

[CornField]

63. They don't care about those women

Nor do they care how much this "security" is costing good, law-abiding Americans.

[OzarkDem]

74. Some breast prostheses are very $$$$$$

Custom ones can cost a couple thousand dollars. Wait til they get a look at the detachable nipples.

The airline security officials at National in Washington DC should be used to it by now, our annual breast cancer conference meets in DC every year.

Actually, security has been pretty nice about it when I've traveled.

[Snivi Yllom]

60. bwahahahahahahaha

this is too much

How the security will be able to detect that the women are enhancing is beyond me.

[underpants]

64. BREAKING-TSA sees record number of applications

[Snivi Yllom]

68. future sequel movie - FAKES ON A PLANE

endless material

[damntexdem]

70. Ooh, policing the false fronts is obviously hard work.

I'd give this advisory the boobie prize.

[kitty1]

76. "Fakes on a plane" Great title for the movie n/t

[kitty1]

77. oops!! Somebody got the idea already

:-)

[serryjw]

79. Our government is crazy.........

A new low.

[Window]

80. Dear Lord,

what next??? Rhetorical. LOL!

[meisje]

82. I've had it with these motherfucking fake titties on this motherfucking

plane!

[The Sushi Bandit]

87. I'm bringing a Snake with fake boobs on my trip

We will see how the snake feels about being frisked!!

Or I will wear this!



Go ahead... frisk me if you dare!

[Demeter]

88. Dr. Strangelove, Call Your Office n/t

[Akim]

91. Urine can be used to make explosives. No more bathrooms on airplanes.

Better that your bladder should bust than everybody else's.

[ThsMchneKilsFascists]

93. How about banning babies with disposable diapers?

The fancy ones turn urine into a gel so it doesn't leak as easily.

This latest OOGA-BOOGA!FEAR!FEAR!FEAR! bit is a little more interesting than the changing colors display for the 04 campaign.

More of this crap can be expected until after the Nov. Elections.

:eyes:

[Akim]

94. You have a keen mind. n/t