Preacher says GOP delaying 2nd coming

[Judi Lynn]

Preacher says GOP delaying 2nd coming
Monday, October 09, 2006
Becky Gaylord
Plain Dealer Reporter

Voters should oust congressional Republican leaders because U.S. foreign policy is delaying the second coming of Jesus Christ, according to a evangelical preacher trying to influence closely contested political races.

K.A. Paul railed against the war in Iraq on Sunday before a crowd of 1,000 at the New Spirit Revival Center in Cleveland Heights, his first stop on what he hopes is a 30-city campaign.

The Houston-based preacher said he believes that the Bush administration has delayed the second coming because U.S. foreign policy has blocked Christian missionaries from working in Iraq, Iran and Syria.

"Somebody needs to say enough is enough," he said to worshippers who stood, waved and called out in support.
(snip/...)

http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga/116038288540580.xml&coll=2

[Freedom_from_Chains]

1. Oh no, could the crack pots being going the other way on them.

[Warpy]

14. Some of the screwballs, certainly

Stupid's had 6 years to kick Jebus off his heavenly throne to force him to come back here and hasn't done a thing.

My guess is that the lunatics are getting restless, and we're about to see a split from the GOP and the founding of the Jesus Party.

[Freedom_from_Chains]

18. Then the war on terror, the terrorizing of our country and the

shredding of our constitution by these theocrates, would be over. That is good news.

[Joe Bacon]

52. Gee, why do I see only WHITE PEOPLE doing THE GREAT FLOAT OFF®?

I look and look at that Christ-inspired cartoon and don't see a single person of color. I wonder why?

[Zhade]

55. Anyone stupid enough to believe in that nonsense...

...is stupid enough to think only whites meet the requirements?

:shrug:

[starroute]

61. And only women with really big breasts

I guess flat-chested gals can go to Hell.

[POAS]

81. And I thought

they were supposed to leave their clothes behind

[HereSince1628]

2. Look, N.Korea isn't even confounded by the gop. Why would a god be?

Not showing much omnipotence if it can't do an end run on the gop if you ask me.

[Chipper Chat]

3. What's in those briefcases (pik 2) ?

Bibles and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches?

[saigon68]

12. LOL Outstanding

[Tunkamerica]

27. i think it's supposed to indicate

that the rich (business people) will in fact get pulled up to heaven.

[Chipper Chat]

30. Well hell, if Jesus could accept Mary Magdelene

I guess he'll let Leona Helmsley and Martha Stewart slip through.

[Kurovski]

40. If they work in the Bush administration and want to make it to heaven,

they'd better have some kind of celestial bribe in those briefcases.

[truthisfreedom]

4. if you believe in a second coming and if you believe that missionaries are

really doing "God's" work, then this guy makes pretty good sense and seems like he might win friends and influence people. 8^)

i hope he gets a lot of followers.

[PsychoDad]

5. As if we can influence to will of the One.

What will be will be. What the Almighty has decreed will be cannot be forced or delayed.

Sorta one of those things that make The One the Almighty. :P

Peace.

[Tyo]

32. So we can stop God from doing what He wants to do?

That's the tail wagging the dog for sure.

[Kurovski]

80. That's what the preacher in the Plain Dealer believes.(nt)

[ClintonTyree]

6. Oy......

if the RepubliCONS lose the god squad they'll have NOTHING left. No, we wouldn't want to delay the rapture. I can't wait to see all of those good christians flying up into the sky. I, of course, won't be among them but I sure am going to have a great time picking through the stuff they "left behind". :rofl:

[zanne]

19. Think of all the change in their sofas! nt

[reprobate]

49. Local news had a blurb on FSM last night. Only saw intro, not story.

Damn! Was watching on DVR and pressed GO LIVE by mistake.

My question to those with rapture bumper stickers: When you're raptured can I have your car?

[damntexdem]

66. The can-I-have-your-car sticker is the one I have on my car.

But I have yet to find: 'Come the Rapture -- good riddance!'

[Kutjara]

7. Typical Repugs.

They promise they'll fuck off 'real soon now' but they never do.

Go on, you self-righeous bastards, get your fat assess Raptured off to fuck already! The rest of us are sick of looking at you.

[Donnachaidh]

8. I wish the rapture would happen so we can get RID of these jackals

and we can clean up our planet. I'm sick of this mythology already.

[rpannier]

9. How little faith they have in God

I would assume that if God had picked a date for the 2nd Coming, no mere mortal could prevent that from happening.

I'll take any help in unseating the moron and his cronies, but this guy is one serious wack-job! And, IMHO, a really piss-poor Christian.

on edit: I see from the comic that they think britney spears is getting into heaven. I also notice that no 'heavy' people are being raptured up. God hate people who are overweight or something?

[WCGreen]

15. Nothing like a pouty liped, pointy breasted little teen ager

to get us all thinking about a church, or something else, on the rise...

[Bucky]

17. I'm sorry, but nobody wearing bellbottoms gets to go to heaven

Looks kinda like Jesus is only taking up the white people.

[zanne]

20. Well, at least he has a sense of style.

[hatrack]

26. But at least she's wearing sensible shoes!

:eyes:

[reprobate]

50. You assume an infallible god. The human body argues against that.

I give you the appendix, the wisdom tooth and in particular the human spine. All examples of ID - Incompetent Design. A god that would design these things would fail first year engineering school.

And this is the Ultimate Being we are supposed to worship? Undeserving IMHO.

[Zhade]

57. They assume a 'god', period.

And this Rapture garbage - which IMHO is a threat to life on this planet, with its fuck-it-all-we're-leavin'-anyway attitude - was made up in the 1800s!

[Joe Bacon]

58. How can an PERFECT GOD create IMPERFECT creatures and places?

Stop and think about that. Gawd is supposedly totally perfect. Well if Mr or Ms Gawd is so perfect, why does he or she make so many mistakes in the allegedly INTELLIGENT DESIGN?

If Gawd is perfect, everything He or She makes has to also be perfect. God cannot make anything imperfect.

If God makes imperfect things, then Mr or Ms God him or her self is IMPERFECT!

Oh, reprobate, you sure are correct about the appendix, wisdom teeth and spines. But don't forget all them hemmoroids that form from the allegedly perfect design.

Also, if Mr or Ms God created everything, then why isn't EVERY PLANET teeming with intelligent life? According to these religious wackos, Gawd gets off on having his ass kissed. You'd think he'd put humans on every planet, all the more to kiss his ass.

[The Backlash Cometh]

10. Holy Shit! These people are fucking looney-tunes.

[RebelOne]

51. You want to see some real looney tunes,

go visit RaptureReady.com. Totally delusional fundie wackos.

[Ian David]

11. Yes! Yes! Send all the Evangelical Christians or Iraq! I'd pay for that!

[goforit]

77. Yes! ...sacrifice yourselves & jump into the pit of the rapturous abyss.

[liberal N proud]

13. These people actually believe man has influence on God and the second...

coming?
It demonstrates just how far off track their faith is.

[schmuls]

43. "No man knows when the Father will come" or something like that

I guess the fundies forgot to read that part.

[Bucky]

16. In case of Rapture... I will be looking up your skirt

and driving off with your car!

[zanne]

21. That's why we have to wear clean underwear. nt

[BrotherBuzz]

41. Zing!

:rofl:

[LiberalFighter]

69. If you don't wear them they won't get dirty

[Richard Steele]

84. I think you just figured out what's in the briefcases!

:rofl:

[tularetom]

23. You won't have to

They're all gonna be nekkid!!!

[hippiechick]

22. I've often wondered what it would be like ...

... to live so far detached from reality. Wow. What a trip these people are on. :smoke:

[kestrel91316]

44. I found a website recently for one of these ultra-fundie little

independent churches that was EXTREMELY anti-abortion (called it murder in all cases) and EXTREMELY pro-death penalty.
They considered themselves sort of Mennonites but had broken away (ie been thrown out, lol). I can see why.

IIRC, Mennonites are NOT pro-death penalty.

[Solly Mack]

24. So the GOP is more powerful than God?

Says a lot about that man's faith. LMAO

[0007]

25. Sounds like another charlatan to me...

"Paul flies around the globe using Jesus to pull in worldwide donations - unfortunately spending more money on jet fuel than orphans," according to a June article in the weekly Houston Press.

[dolo amber]

28. ...

[aka-chmeee]

29. Self-solving problem here....

I can't imagine that the shelf life of a christian missionary in any of these countries would be very long...

Love the "rapture" graphics! Kind of reminds me of "Carousel".

[catmandu57]

74. RENEW RENEW

Runner!, blast, clean up in ailse five

[Arugula Latte]

31. So THAT's why Jebus has been taking his sweet time!

Yes -- it all makes perfect sense now! Voters -- dump these Rapture Delayers!

:rofl:

[progressoid]

33. You said "coming" heh heh heh

[gordianot]

34. What a great idea, would they take my wifes' fundie niece (please)?

Missionary in Iraq, Iran or Syria.

[LiberalFighter]

72. Tell her if she's not at the right place and right time she won't be taken

Then give her a location that is difficult to find and date and time that makes it difficult (during middle of winter)

Or tell her the rapture already happened and she wasn't invited cause she is a major sinner.

[Joe Bacon]

35. Yep, all them rich white republicans get to go!

By all means, hurry up with THE GREAT FLOAT OFF®. Fine with me. Good riddance!

[rpannier]

82. I'm anxiously awaiting the rapture

I plan on moving into Pat Robertson's 52,000 sq foot manger-like mansion. I plan on driving around town in all of his 'donkey-like' mercedes' and limos.
The rapture will be a great day -- For Me!

[cynatnite]

36. Finally...something we don't blame on bush...

:rofl:

[Peace Patriot]

37. He's right but for the wrong reasons. Bush is the antithesis of Jesus.

Bush is a murdering, torturing, lying, egocentric hypocrite. And he is most certainly preventing the core notion of Christianity, "love thine enemy," from bursting out of the heavens and flooding our land with wisdom and love.

But, typical of 'christian' powermongers, K.A. Paul thinks that the coming of "love, love, love" means that HE gets to make money, and become famous, and be worshiped, for "preaching to the Iraqis." Somehow I don't think that's what Jesus had in mind.

But wouldn't it be great if the rightwing 'christians' suddenly DID get it? --and earned that capital "C"!

Demands from the Christian right that we end capital punishment? Demands that we destroy our nuclear arsenal and cut the military budget, oh, say, by 90%, down to a true defensive posture? Preaching from the Christian right that all of the super-rich who have profited from war need to pay large sums to the families of dead Iraqis and U.S. soldiers, and maimed Iraqis and Americans, and to the U.S. poor who have suffered so much from the looting by the rich?

Oh, well, I guess Hell would have to freeze over before....


------------------------------------

I disagree about bellbottoms. I think God loves them.

[reprobate]

53. God loves bellbottoms and the 60's. She told me so once when I met her

during a trip I took then.....Very colorful trip. And you should have seen what She was wearing! It was tie-died.

[Akoto]

38. I knew the Repubs had control issues, but now they control God?

[Jack Rabbit]

39. There are amny good reasons to vote the Republicans out now

and then there's this one.

[Hepburn]

42. They are nuts...

...just fucking nuts. There simply is no other way to describe the RW fudies. :puke:

[Downtown Hound]

45. Well, these wackos have been useful idiots of the right for a long time

now, maybe they can now be useful idiots for us. If they vote against him, all the better. They're still blithering morons though.

[DUgosh]

46. But but but.....

They said that * was God's choice for president. and the republicans are of course the moral center of America. So did their God make a mistake?

[Joe Bacon]

56. When I tell my idiot aunt that God put Clinton in as President...

...oh no, CLINTON is the ANTI CHRIST.

THen I tell that moron to cut the bullshit about Gawd installing Bush.

BTW, she loves to spit out her hatred of gays and lesbians using the Leviticus bullshit. I remind her that she loves to go to Sizzler for the shrimp. I really get her livid when I remind her that HER GOD demands the DEATH PENALTY for shrimp eaters.

I laugh at her over the phone when she gets into a frothing rant over that.

[trof]

47. Thanks. Sent it to my cousin who is registrar at a seminary.

Asked her to get their take on it.
;-)

[stepnw1f]

48. These People are Trying to Bring Armegeddon

Is there anymore a need to lock these sickos up?

[Zhade]

54. Delaying the made-up mythical not-ever-happening bullshit?

Nah.

[Ex Lion Tamer]

59. Oh, I thought you wrote "second cumming"

and those pricks had finally solved their premature ejaculation problems.

[Megahurtz]

60. Well THAT'S a new one LOL! n/t

[Ferret Annica]

62. We call them 'Rapture Monkeys'

on Freedom4UM.com. I hope that if the rapture does happen I get someone due to fly leave in front of me and that he or she leave their clothes, wallet, and the keys to their house and car behind.

[Divine Discontent]

63. not even going to read the messages below the OP

because I know they are going to be of the "nutjobs and their rapture" hate speech variety.

now, in saying that, to hear ANY "man of God" say that a political party is delaying the 2nd coming of my Lord & Savior is....


batshit crazy.


no one knows the hour or the day (and no preacher is going to effect that outcome with demanding someone be voted out of power to push it to occur)



www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable <<-- antibush prodem stickers/shirts

[slackmaster]

64. His church should be stripped of its tax-exempt status

:nuke:

[damntexdem]

65. Then he should call on Mark Foley.

Ole Mark never delayed a coming, not even for a vote in Congress. ;-)

[BluePatriot]

67. But I thought they were HASTENING the Apocalypse

*must...stop...gallows...humor...

[Mz Pip]

68. Whatever works

If these crackpots believe the GOP is interferring with their Rapture then by all means they should vote Democratic.

I'll say it. "Enough is enough."

Mz Pip
:dem:

[MindPilot]

70. It is like watching a bunch of D&D geeks

arguing over which wizard has more powers.

They seem to have lost sight of the fact that it's all make-believe.

[0rganism]

85. "...a sin for which the only penance can be a Hideous Death...

...at the hands of Specules!"

[AngryOldDem]

71. At least the GOP is good for something

[KansDem]

73. "Raptus interruptus" (eom)

[4_TN_TITANS]

75. People, you're missing the good news...

The Houston-based preacher said he believes that the Bush administration has delayed the second coming because U.S. foreign policy has blocked Christian missionaries from working in Iraq, Iran and Syria.

Let's send ALL the nutcases to Iraq, Iran, and Syria to try and convert people who are already furious with us! They wouldn't last an effin week. I agree with the preacher... we need to change our policy and deploy the missionaries!

}(

[0rganism]

76. Really? Could be the only decent thing the GOP has done in the last 30 yrs

The whole modern apocalyptic second-coming eschatology is essentially a Big Waste of Everything, rooted in a rather pathetic exegesis of parable and anti-Roman screed. I'm continually amazed that some folks want to go out of their way to make it reality. Find me the people who are doing everything they can to prevent that LaHaye/Jenkins bullshit scenario, and I might just send them a big check.

(There are also those who have gone through their own armageddon of consciousness, stood fast through their personal tribulations, taken the responsibility for their actions on themselves, and made easing the pain of their neighbors a priority, them I do respect.)

[nealmhughes]

78. Can this one heal or make you rich with a magic cloth?

If he can't then he's not crap...

[Crunchy Frog]

79. I thought people were supposed to be raptured out of their clothes.

What's with all the dressed people in those pictures?

[twaddler01]

83. Technically if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen right?

So what is the point of this?

:shrug: