Murderer to dish up gallows humour before execution

[kskiska]

Source: The Guardian

A man sentenced to be executed tonight in Texas is determined to have the last laugh, whatever the local sheriff who caught him and relatives of his victims may think.

Patrick Knight is due to die by lethal injection for the 1991 murder of two neighbours, Walter and Mary Werner. But rather than appealing for forgiveness or mercy in his final hours, Knight says he is appealing for jokes.

(snip)

Knight said one joke under consideration as his comical epitaph was "Where's a stunt double when you need one?" But in a recent death row interview with the Associated Press, he noted that lawyer jokes were particularly popular.

"I'm not going to use any profanity or any vulgar content. It wouldn't be bad if it was a little on the edge. That would be cool."

Read more: http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2111631,00.html

[pepperbear]

1. (to administering doctor) "hey I hope that thing's sterile.....

I got a million of them. try the veal. thanks for coming. don't forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses."

OMG!

:wow:

[Endangered Specie]

7. "Call my HMO, I don't think they're gonna let you operate"

[Spinzonner]

2. "This has me on pins and needles"

[Old and In the Way]

3. Take my life.... please!

[alcibiades_mystery]

18. Best comment of the thread

Well played.

[Prophet 451]

4. Y'know, convicted murderer he might be

...but I gotta give the guy kudos for sheer style.

[seriousstan]

8. Your definition of "style" is sickening.

Patrick Knight is scheduled to be executed in Texas on 26 June. He was sentenced to death in Randall County in 1993 for the
murder of Mary Ann and Walter Werner in 1991. Patrick Knight, who was 23 years old at the time of the crime, has been on
death row for more than one third of his life.
According to the evidence presented at trial, on the morning of 26 August 1991, Patrick Knight and his friend Robert
Bradfield broke into the Werners’ home near the city of Amarillo in order to burgle it. When the couple returned home during
the burglary, the assailants locked them in the basement. On the night of 27 August, the Werners were put in their van, driven
into the country and shot in the head. Police questioned Knight who lived in a trailer next to the Werners’ house. He
eventually confessed to the crime and led the police to the victims’ bodies. The jury returned a verdict of guilty of capital
murder. Robert Bradfield was also convicted of capital murder, and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

[Prophet 451]

10. I'm a Brit

Gallows humour is an artform here. Dunno if you remember but the 7/7 tube bombings came teh day after London beat out Paris to host teh Olympics. The first comment of a fair few Brits was "Didn't think the French would be that pissed".

[seriousstan]

11. I would think a Brit would understand the distinction between style and humor.

You didn't add a joke, you commented in adoration. I don't care if he has a lovely shade garden, he's a sick fuck who's "style" is to kill innocent people.

[melody]

13. That's beside the point

I don't think the poster was trying to "comment in adoration" in the least. It was a dry, witty
aside. I'm a Californian and we speak fluent DryWitty. lol

No one is making light of what the sick bastard did. I don't think anyone should be murdered (including
this clod), but there's no reason to require solemnity from anyone within a twenty million mile area, for
heaven's sake.

[Puglover]

16. Adoration. Right. Just what we need. Another

[Name removed]

17. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[DS1]

20. he did, but you missed it

(from another Brit)

[Prophet 451]

32. Cheers guys n/t

[deadmessengers]

29. My favorite comment

"I've been blown up by a better class of bastard than this", said by a survivor of the Blitz.

And before I get flamed: Yes, I know this quote was about the Canary Wharf IRA bombing in 1996, but it's an example of great gallows humor.

[Prophet 451]

31. Several people said similar things after 7/7

Several of the jokes centred on the good fortune of the bus explosion happening directly in front of the BMA (British Medical Association, actually staffed by doctors) HQ. My favourite: "That's a new kind of "open surgery".

[Endangered Specie]

5. He should sing: Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape!

If I could be sweet, I know I've been a real bad girl,
I didn't mean for you to get hurt
Forever, we can make it better
Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?
Sweet escape"

You let me down
I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out
I need to get me out of this joint
Come on, let's bounce
Counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy
I've been getting a little lazy
Waiting for you to come save me
I can see that you're angry
By the way the you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me
Want to take you with me"

[StarryNite]

6. I wonder if he was cracking jokes

while he was murdering his victims?

[seriousstan]

9. No shit. Let's all laugh and dance like puppets on a string for the murdering bastard.

Patrick Knight is scheduled to be executed in Texas on 26 June. He was sentenced to death in Randall County in 1993 for the
murder of Mary Ann and Walter Werner in 1991. Patrick Knight, who was 23 years old at the time of the crime, has been on
death row for more than one third of his life.
According to the evidence presented at trial, on the morning of 26 August 1991, Patrick Knight and his friend Robert
Bradfield broke into the Werners’ home near the city of Amarillo in order to burgle it. When the couple returned home during
the burglary, the assailants locked them in the basement. On the night of 27 August, the Werners were put in their van, driven
into the country and shot in the head. Police questioned Knight who lived in a trailer next to the Werners’ house. He
eventually confessed to the crime and led the police to the victims’ bodies. The jury returned a verdict of guilty of capital
murder. Robert Bradfield was also convicted of capital murder, and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

[Snazzy]

14. wow deja vu

You know what's a real laugh, our former Texas Gov.:

In the weeks before the execution, Bush says, a number of protesters came to Austin to demand clemency for Karla Faye Tucker. "Did you meet with any of them?" I ask.

Bush whips around and stares at me.

"No, I didn't meet with any of them", he snaps, as though I've just asked the dumbest, most offensive question ever posed. "I didn't meet with Larry King either when he came down for it. I watched his interview with Tucker, though. He asked her real difficult questions like, 'What would you say to Governor Bush?'" "What was her answer?" I wonder. "'Please,'" Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, "'don't kill me.'"

I must look shocked — ridiculing the pleas of a condemned prisoner who has since been executed seems odd and cruel — because he immediately stops smirking.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karla_Faye_Tucker

[endarkenment]

21. No lets not.

But instead it is actually ok to separate what this man did to get him where he is to how he has chosen to end his life, which would be with humor and style. It is called gallows humor and there is a very long tradition of laughing at the state as it pompously murders us.

[StarryNite]

25. Let us not forget about the families

of the victims. I doubt they would find this stylish or humorous. I know I wouldn't had he killed one of my loved ones. Heck, he didn't even kill anybody I know and I don't find it funny. On one hand I find the death sentence to be barbaric and disgusting. Yet, on the other hand if somebody killed one of my family or friends I'm pretty sure I would want the murderer dead.

[endarkenment]

37. Sorry I won't play.

The death penalty is not for the benefit of the families, it is a black farce carried out by the state, and it is performed primarily to demonstrate the power of the state over all of us. I applaud every victim of the death penalty who can laugh at the state as the state murders him, who can diminish this pompous act of official barbarism by ridicule, by humor, by refusing to act the proper role of submissive victim. That has nothing at all to do with the crime committed by this person. I completely separate the two acts: this crime and the state execution. They are connected only by a legal process I find abhorrent. I note that were this joker left to languish in prison for the rest of his life, we would not be having this discussion.

[The Stranger]

41. Well struck.

Some posters seem to be taking this all a bit personally.

[Harper_is_Bush]

36. what is your point?

[struggle4progress]

12. The "Hey! I've got a captive audience! I'll put on a show!" attitude has been common

throughout history.

In accounts of executions from the early to mid-twentieth century, the about-to-be-hanged regularly sang a little song or cracked jokes.

Every now and then, the desire for attention is so obvious and strong, that one suspects that the confession, or perhaps even the crime itself, was motivated by the hopes of publicity associated the trial and/or execution.

[Ian David]

15. Last Comic Dying? n/t

[niceypoo]

19. "That would be cool," ???

OOMMFFGG
Um, I don't think anyone will think you are cool, you fucking moron...

[mitchum]

22. This motherfucker murders two people, but he won't work blue?

He's gonna give new meaning to "I'm dying up here!"

[kskiska]

26. Do you suppose he'll experience flop sweat? n/t

[mitchum]

27. At least he won't have to worry about whether he can book a return engagement (n/t)

[Mike Daniels]

23. Unrepenent asshole gets his just rewards in the end

The death penalty is meant for fuckers like this.

[onager]

24. A fine tradition!!! "He laughed his head off..."

British persons hanging around the board, can you verify this yarn? The OP reminds me of it.

While touring London once, our tour guide says the following story was the origin of the phrase "laughed his head off:"

On 9 April 1747, Lord Lovat (Simon Fraser) was executed on Tower Hill for treason (i.e., taking part in the Jacobite Rebellion).

Fraser would be the last person publicly beheaded in England. You can see the block and axe used in his beheading if you take the Tower Of London tour--they are on display in the White Tower.

According to the tour guide's story, huge crowds turned out for Fraser's execution. Some of the crowds were jammed into hastily-built wooden grandstands.

As Fraser knelt at the chopping block, a section of those grandstands collapsed and sent bodies flying.

This struck Fraser as funny and he started laughing. He was still laughing when the executioner brought down the axe and decapitated him. Hence the expression, "laughed his head off."

A quick Google could not confirm this story, but it did fetch this interesting and related example of British gallows humor from George Selwyn:

Some ladies rallied him about his want of feeling in having gone to see Lord Lovat's head cut off;

'Why,' said he, 'I made amends by going to the undertaker's to see it sewn on again.'

[sneakythomas]

28. "Gallows humor" as an ancient history

I think its something akin to whistling while walking through a cemetery at night, both for the executed and the bystanders.

A couple of good examples (both, I think from 1930's gangsters). A guy named Apple on his way to the electric chair turned to the witnesses and said "well, now you're going to see a baked apple." Another one stepped onto the trapdoor of the gallows, stomped on it, looked at the executioner and said "are you sure this is safe?"

I am very strongly opposed to the death penalty, but if I was there I'd be really tempted to tell him "laugh about this asswipe!" as the needle goes in his arm.

[rocktivity]

30. He must have seen the episode of living color

Where they do a Letterman-type talk show from a prison block. A special guest appearance is announced: "He killed them at The Comedy Club. He killed them at The Improv. And then he killed them in a Seven Eleven." Through a slit in a door, you see the eyes of guy on death row who says things like, "It's not the delivery of the joke, it's the execution..."

:crazy:
rocknation

[kskiska]

33. UPDATE: Texas inmate executed; doesn't tell joke

HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Condemned prisoner Patrick Knight was executed Tuesday evening for the deaths of an Amarillo-area couple without delivering on a promise to tell a joke in his final statement.

Patrick Knight has been soliciting jokes in the mail and on a Web site, sometimes receiving as many as 20 a day, saying his humor was intended to raise the spirits of other inmates. He said he received as many as 1,300 proposals.

But when the moment came, Knight thanked God for his friends and asked for help for innocent men on death row. He named several he said were innocent. His voice shaking and nearly in tears, he said, "Not all of us are innocent, but those are."

After expressing love to some friends, he said, "I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke. I deserve this."

"And the other joke is that I am not Patrick Bryan Knight and y'all can't stop this execution now. Go ahead, I'm finished."

Nine minutes later at 6:21 p.m. CDT, he was pronounced dead.

more…
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4922963.html

[Harper_is_Bush]

34. self delete

[Harper_is_Bush]

35. The death penalty is just such a wonderful thing. Let's all bask in the knowledge that a man was

killed in our name.

Not in warfare, no. We took him out of a cage, and injected drugs to kill him.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

39. which is why i think his joke telling is appropriate. he mocks his victims.

we as a society mock humanity when we allow the death penalty. it seems fitting and sad.

[mitchum]

40. Just how can it be "in our name" if you are Canadian?

Or was that shopworn "in our names" just another reflexive occurence?

He earned his fate

[La Lioness Priyanka]

38. seem fitting for a system that allows the death penalty

which in my opinion makes a mockery of humanity

[The Stranger]

42. [Laughing]"Stop it -- you people are killin' me!"[/Laughing]