Bush reclaims power after colonoscopy

[Akoto]

Source: USA Today

CAMP DAVID, Md. (AP) — Doctors removed five small polyps from President Bush's colon on Saturday after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office for two hours to Vice President Dick Cheney under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.

The polyps, or growths in his large intestine, were found during a routine colon cancer scan. They all measured less than a centimeter and none "appeared worrisome," White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said.

The colonoscopy, performed at the Camp David presidential retreat, last 31 minutes. The polyps have been sent for microscopic examination to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. Results were expected within 72 hours. Most polyps are benign, or non-cancerous. But over time, some types of polyps can grow and turn into cancer. To be safe, doctors remove all polyps and test them.

Read more: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2007-07-21-bush-colonoscopy_N.htm

[saracat]

1. Wow! Bush reclaimed power from Cheney? That would be the first time since election 2000!

Why isn't this frontpage news?

[liberalnurse]

24. I was think that he might render Scooter

a pardon. Heck, he may already of done it but kept it under wraps.

[silverojo]

27. Why not front page news?

Simple...because who wants to talk about something done to Bush's back door? :rofl:

[rzemanfl]

2. If they removed all the growths inside the asshole, there be

nothing left of *.

[TwilightGardener]

3. He'll be full of shit again in no time.

[billyoc]

4. "To be safe, doctors remove all polyps and test them."

Fortunately, all five were found to be AEI visiting scholars.

[MichiganVote]

5. And Cheney gave it back? Unbelieveable.

[0007]

75. I thought cheney ate the five small polyps.

He was kinda of disappointed cuz they were too small.

[a la izquierda]

6. It was breaking news on CNN en Espanol...

yesterday that Bush was transferring power to Cheney. I thought to myself, "hasn't he always had it"? Then I waited for us to invade another country. Glad to hear that didn't happen.

[nc_gadfly]

7. this just in. . .

"During the routine medical procedure, doctors discovered the missing weapons of mass destruction."

[Paul-Z]

9. They also found

They also found the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people.

[FreeStateDemocrat]

8. The idiot has his certification as a perfect ass renewed.

[struggle4progress]

10. Sometimes 'e jest needs 'is brains stimulated

[PurgedVoter]

11. Republican Inner Circle up in Arms

Republican leaders expected many more than the mere five collected.

Bill Kristol seemed more than just agitated. "We are going to have to remake all of our timetables."

The five extra tissue growths will of course be appreciated, but for now there are more leading Republicans than available implants for them. For now Key Republicans can only hope Chaney's next harvest will be less disappointing.

[rcdean]

12. Did they do a brain scan while they were in there?

Just wondering.

[meow2u3]

20. They did a Bush brain scan

The test revealed nothing.

[Canuckistanian]

13. Was there a coup?

Or did the puppet merely re-attach his strings?

[MaineDem]

14. "spokesman Scott Stanzel"

How many spokespeople do they have> Does the level of the news warrant different levels of spokesfolk?

[dogfacedboy]

26. Being the weekend, some lower form

of WH bottom feeder had to be there to report on GWB's ass.

[gulliver]

15. Whew! Glad that's over.

Back out of the madman's hands to the dimwit asshole -- indirectly in the madman's hands. Sigh of relief.

[lpbk2713]

16. Good thing they didn't have to call in Al Haig.

So that he could be in charge "here at the White House".

:rofl: :rofl:

[silverojo]

28. Glad to see I'm not the only one who remembers Al Haig

That was truly a spectacle to behold. :scared:

[pscot]

17. Does this mean his eyes are blue again?

n/t

[pretty_lies]

18. Breaking news: malignant growth removed from 5 innocent polyps

The polyps are said to be "relieved" and are making a full recovery.

[meow2u3]

21. Which polyp was the brain?

Let me know when the tests come back.

[ismnotwasm]

19. (Sigh)

Maybe he'll be able to think better now, what with a little more room for his head.

And---ewww.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. "Doctors removed five small polyps from President Bush's colon"

Translation: "Doctors performed a frontal lobotomy on President Bush".

[Mad_Dem_X]

77. !

:spray:

[Handsome Pete]

23. I'll betcha Bush stayed up all night long studying for his urine test.

And they recovered Condi's tounge stud ta boot!

So all's well that ends well (except for that recovery thing)

[silverojo]

25. Ever notice how Repukes grow polyps?

First Reagan, now this guy. Methinks the GOP needs to have a proctologist on staff, given the rate neo-cons keep growing weird things near their assholes.

[stressfulreality]

29. maybe he's normal now! maybe it was the polyps calling the shots!

... i wish.

[Demonaut]

30. 5 polyps removed from Bush's colon

Source: Yahoo News

By DEB RIECHMANN, Associated Press Writer 2 hours, 46 minutes ago

CAMP DAVID, Md. - Doctors removed five small growths from President Bush 's colon Saturday after he temporarily transferred the powers of his office to Vice President Dick Cheney under the rarely invoked 25th Amendment.
ADVERTISEMENT

The polyps, extra tissue growing inside the large intestine, were found during a routine colon cancer scan performed at the Camp David presidential retreat.

"All were less than 1 centimeter (about four-tenths of an inch) and none appeared worrisome," White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said. Outside medical experts agreed.

Read more: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070721/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_colonoscopy;_ylt=AqEQGsVoioNt2UibzlFAhafMWM0F

---

sorry to any who've had quints

[Warren Stupidity]

31. So basically the procedure was not routine.

[RantinRavin]

39. Actually it is routine

during a colonoscopy to have polyps removed if they are found.

[Warren Stupidity]

73. yes that is what is routinely done,but not what I meant.

If the procedure were routine, nothing would have been found and nothing would have been removed. The polyps are removed because they are considered pre-cancerous.

[glitch]

32. And their names are Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas and Kennedy. nt

[Hepburn]

38. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>>>>>.

LMBO! :rofl:

[SaveAmerica]

43. I guess they decided to leave the Joementum polyp inside

[Mz Pip]

50. God knows what that

will turn into. But whatever it does, it won't be harmful to Bush.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Sarah Ibarruri]

33. What a shame. nt

[Phrogman]

34. Do Americans still really need to have "centimeter" explained to them?

Jeesh!

[dweller]

40. while struggling with fractions?

well, yeah... 4/10ths = 2/5ths... 1 bourbon, 1 gin?

dp

[Frank Cannon]

45. Anyone who would give a fuck about the size of Bush's polyps...

probably does need centimeters explained to them.

[EClark5483]

35. Was there any mention..

Of whether they were successful in extracting his head as well?

[sfwriter]

36. Did they find his head? EOM

[Hepburn]

37. Well, that most likely is more protoplasm than they would find if...

...they did a craniotomoy on that asshole.

[DemBones DemBones]

41. Unless they brought in a pathologist to examine all the tissue,

they don't know that the polyps aren't the precancerous type.

However, the precancerous types take years to develop into cancer so a colonoscopy every five years after you're 50 (younger for some) should keep you safe from colon cancer.

If you're under 50 and have any symptoms that might indicate cancer, or someone in your family had colon cancer, get thee to a gastroenterologist without waiting to turn 50.

Colonoscopies are not that bad. Like most medical procedures, it's the anxious anticipation that's the worst. And the bill. We really need universal healthcare. So many cancer deaths, and many other deaths, could be prevented with preventive care.

[silverojo]

57. WTH? Colonoscopies are horrible!

My aunt worked in a major medical clinic, and they gave free colonoscopies to the employees as part of their preventative health care program. EVERYBODY complained about the horrible gas pains afterward, not to mention the ungodly cramping from the laxatives/enema that you have to take before the procedure.

It's one thing to recommend a preventative procedure, but please don't misrepresent the reality of the fact that it IS invasive. Any time something is invasive, it's going to hurt.

[DemBones DemBones]

62. "Any time something is invasive it's going to hurt"??? No. Colonoscopy does not hurt.

Most people choose to be asleep during a colonoscopy and are given Versed and Valium, wake up wondering when they're going to put them to sleep. I know because I've been put to sleep for endoscopies twice, using those very drugs. You don't feel pain when you're asleep!

You don't mention ever having had a colonoscopy yourself, only secondhand comments about the procedure.

Between us, Mr. Bones and I have had five colonoscopies (#6 coming up this fall) and four of them were done without any drugs, because that was our choice. (My doctor suggested I have a small amount of drugs for my third colonoscopy so I did, but was still awake and watching the monitor. I always say it's pay per view so why not watch?) B-)

Do you think we would have chosen not to have drugs if the procedure was painful? We're not masochists by any means, we just like to avoid anesthesia when possible.

Colonoscopies without drugs are uncomfortable at times but not painful. Biopsies don't hurt, either. We knew we could ask the doctor to stop the procedure for a minute and give us drugs if we needed them but we didn't.

Anyway, most people are asleep during their colonoscopies, feeling nothing at all.

The gas after the procedure is due to the doctor inflating the colon with air so he can maneuver the "scope" better and most people don't have any trouble getting rid of it. In our doctor's practice, there are five doctors so there is always a row of four or five post-procedure patients on gurneys, separated only by drapes, and in our five trips there we've never heard anyone moaning or otherwise indicating that they were suffering "horrible gas pains." I can't say no one has "horrible gas pains" after the procedure, of course. But I can say that everyone does not have them.

Most people agree that the worst part of a colonoscopy is drinking the liquid laxative beforehand, but it's not as bad as it once was. Seventeen years ago the liquid you had to drink to clean out your colon had a weird aftertaste and I could barely swallow it. Everyone hated that stuff. A friend of mine had a cancerous kidney removed that same year and said drinking that stuff was the worst part of it all.

By the next time I had to take it, the liquid had been improved and wasn't as bad. By the third time, it was improved still more. Now they also have you do a liquid diet for a day or two in advance so there's less in your colon when you take the laxative. I never heard of anyone having an enema before a colonoscopy but maybe some doctors use them, or did before the liquid laxative was developed. Laxatives can certainly cause cramping but I don't remember ever having "ungodly cramps," and I just had a colonoscopy a few months ago. The "prep" is the worst part, but I imagine most people have experienced worse things by the time they're old enough to have a colonoscopy.

I'm not saying you'd want to do this every day, of course, but it's certainly endurable every five years to prevent colon cancer from developing.

[knitter4democracy]

74. Mine wasn't.

I had one this last spring to see if the abdominal pain was something they could find that way. It wasn't, but it also confirmed that I'm okay in the areas they could see.

The worst part was the prep, which overloaded my system (most drugs do) so that I started vomiting. Now we know to have me take less and to eat lightly the day before, too. That should make the next one easier.

The worst part of mine was my anxiety when they put my IV in. It was my third surgery in a year, and I feaked out. Everyone was really nice about it and gave me a few minutes to calm down. They put me out before they did anything, and when I woke up, there was no pain at all, not like when I woke up from my kidney surgery last fall (when we found out that narcotics don't work on me at all).

I felt a bit ill for the rest of the day, and sleepy, but that was it. It didn't hurt afterwards, and gas pains really hurt. I didn't have any real pain from that, though.

[The Sushi Bandit]

42. What no WMD's????

I could have swarn they were up his fucking ass!!

[Rosa Luxemburg]

53. I guess

they removed them first

[otherlander]

44. Five polyps have human parasite removed

[Norrin Radd]

65. lolz

[whistle]

46. Did any of those look like brain cells? If they did, maybe the doctor

...should put them back...:eyes:

[1620rock]

47. They should put the polyps on ebay and let the Frp's bid on them.

[whistle]

49. List them as Shrub's* WMDs

[ProudDad]

61. If they were, there's no reason to put them back

he wasn't using them anyway... :eyes:

[ThingsGottaChange]

48. I'm sure he'll save them and keep them in a little jar

to show visiting foreign dignitaries. Won't that be impressive?!?!?

[montana_hazeleyes]

51. LOL

I knew this subject would provide some good laughs and you guys have not let me down.:D :rofl: :spank:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

52. Hail to the hemmorrhoid.

I'd sooner have his polyps running the country.

[az chela]

54. must not be much left since he is a complete asshole

[Purveyor]

55. And the polyps could only be Identified as... Cheney, Wolfowitz, Feith, and LIbby eom

[Harry Monroe]

56. They also found Cheney's hand up hand puppet Bush's ass

[SeattleVet]

60. So you're thinking that maybe the 'polyps' were actually the ends of the

control strings that Cheney operated?

[Harry Monroe]

58. I hope that they got all of the brain tumor out of his ass

[Heathen57]

64. I thought that WAS his brain

On second thought, his brain resides in Cheney.

[olddad56]

59. I'm hoping that there were more than 5 and they only removed the small ones.

[sce56]

63. Despite drinking all that trilyte the Doctor said he was still full of SHIT! ntx

Fascism Accomplished!

[Skittles]

66. I hope they had ANTLERS

yes INDEED

[radfringe]

67. heeheeheeheee

[Kablooie]

68. Awww. And they all look just like him.

[chknltl]

69. I can't stand it anymore!!!

How can cheney have been in power while bush was gettin his asshole looked at! Will someone please explain THAT ONE to me!!!

















............ :hide: ............
(resistance was few-tile)

[DrDan]

70. junior is a cancerous polyp among 5 normal growths

[conspirator]

71. Fart power? dick will still be in charge. n/t

[rodeodance]

72. I am glad the procedure went well. Now, onto the business of

getting him out of office (ok-give a few days to recover)

[Mad_Dem_X]

76. Did they find his brain?

And I'll echo what another poster said - You mean Dick gave the power back?