Gay lives in limbo

[foreigncorrespondent]

(Note to mods: The full title of the article didn't fit in the box, so I broke it up into two, and posted a little of the title in the titile box, and the rest above the article itself.)


U.S. immigration laws leave binational couples in the lurch


Mel and Hans share a life in the East Bay -- where they are surrounded by friends, own a two-story home, have jobs they love.

But after 25 years together, Mel, a U.S. citizen, still cannot sponsor Hans, a Dutch citizen, for permanent U.S. residency.

If they weren't gay, this would be easy.

<snip>

Nearly 300,000 immigrants who entered the United States in 2002 were foreign brides or grooms, immigration officials say. Yet unlike immigration authorities in 16 other countries -- including Australia, Germany, South Africa, Israel, and, most recently, Brazil -- the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services doesn't grant homosexual couples the same immigration benefits available to heterosexuals.

"You can pretend, in some ways, that when you're gay and living in the Bay Area, you have equal status with heterosexuals. That is, until something as defined as this comes along," says Mel, a 56-year-old physical therapist. "You can really see the lines drawn, and it's painful, the very hypocrisy of it, the unfairness of it."

Full article: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2004/01/11/GAYIMMIGRANTS.TMP

[uhhuh]

1. A Kick

For those who still think that same gender couples are asking for "special" rights. This is a travesty.

[foreigncorrespondent]

2. Thank you for the kick.

And yes, it is a travesty, and I am speaking from first hand experience.

[Laughing Mirror]

3. It is more than a travesty, it is a Crime

and I too speak from first hand experience, trying to cope with this problem now as I have for decades, so it is hardly late breaking news for me.

All those so-called gay TV shows that portray us all as rich yuppies whose only cares in the world involve making over homely straight guys or redecorating dowdy houses ought to do shows exposing the real problems we have to deal with on a day to day basis, and this glaring immigration inequity would be on top of the list.

[foreigncorrespondent]

6. Yeah!

My partner and I are just so rich we fly back and forth to see each other on a weekly basis.

Unfortunately there aren't enough binational couples willing to come out and speak about their experience (because so many are forced to do this the illegal way, and are forced to live out of the lime-light.) My partner (Sapphocrat) and I are an exception to the rule. We chose to do everything the legal way, and as a result, we have lost two years together, apart from the 56 days in total, we were abe to be together thank's to an annonymous benefactor who paid for Sapphocrat to come here to Oz.

I want marriage rights because I so want to make that ultimate commitment to Sappho, and I would be honoured to have both of our countries recognize our marriage as being valid, but more importantly, I want the damn right to choose with her, which country we want to settle down in.

[nofurylike]

4. "...the very hypocrisy of it, the unfairness of it." !!! kick n/t

[varun]

5. when people say...

that gay people have all the rights and why they would need marriage...this should be mentioned.

This is gross injustice.

[The Zanti Regent]

7. Where's Andy Sullivan?

Why Andy is too busy apologizing for Ah-Nold's budget cuts!

[Sapphocrat]

8. This part says it best for me...

Kelly Bossi-Andresen and Gitte Bossi-Andresen left urban Oakland for country life in Hjordkaer, Denmark, when Gitte's student visa expired in June 2000. Kelly calls it an exile. They got married, Kelly had two children -- Max, now 3 years old, and Emma, now 16 months -- who Gitte adopted, and they settled into a two-bedroom, circa 1890 farmhouse. ...

"We love the Bay Area and didn't want to live anywhere else. But I didn't have enough ice in my stomach to stay in the U.S. illegally," says Gitte, 35, an anthropologist, in a telephone interview. "Coming here was our last option. There were too many uncertainties if we were to stay in the U.S. We wanted to start a family, have kids, and I couldn't just tell them, 'Oh, Mommy has to leave now. She has no visa.'"

Not that fc and I are going to have kids (we're not), but that says it for me: exile.

Now does everybody who didn't understand before, understand now, why the only option is for me to move to Australia?

As much as I love fc, it's been the most wrenching decision of my life -- especially since we both want to live here, in the U.S. Australia is a wonderful place, full of beautiful people and untapped opportunity -- but this is my home. And it came to be fc's home.

Will I leave? Yes, no question. What's stopping me? An 82-year-old mother in ill health, and two siblings who are 400 and 3,000 miles away, respectively. You want to talk about being torn in two? Man, "ripped in half" is my life, every damned day.

I'm 42 years old, and I don't have endless decades to wait until U.S. immigration law catches up with what's right.

Oh, there I go again -- depressing to listen to, isn't it? Believe me, it's depressing to live it, too. But when the opportunity arises to make a few more people aware of "codified" discrimination in the U.S. -- and why same-sex marriage isn't just some extra privilege people like us don't "need," well, I spill my guts.

Thanks for your endurance. When we finally do get married, DU is invited to the wedding -- except it'll have to be pot luck, with 36,000 guests. :D

[Zhade]

9. Isn't this a violation of the Equal Protection Clause?

NT?

[foreigncorrespondent]

11. Do you think they care?

Just look at how many clauses they are actually breaking in order to keep discriminating against the LGBT community!

[JusticeForAll]

10. kick n/t