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Naw.
I'm laughing too hard.
Okay, okay...um...somebody pilots commercial jets into the WTC and the Pentagon, and NORAD is out to lunch (having been taken out to lunch by Donald Rumsfeld six months before). The Bushites say Al Qaeda did it, cuz there was a Koran in a their car in the airport parking lot, or something, and all the passports were from Saudi Arabia, and they immediately start planning to invade Iraq.
Iraq? Hm.
But first they invade Afhghanistan and start rounding up people to torture in Guantanamo Bay. Still no proof that Al Qaeda did it, or even who or what Al Qaeda is, and the tortured ones can't tell us, cuz they don't know anything. They're just Afghani grubs caught holding rifles when the U.S. invaded their country.
Bush keeps saying, "Al Kidda, Al Kidda, Al Kidda, I'm kiddin ya, it's the oil, stupids."
Al Kidda's legendary figure, Osama bin Ladden, who is running for president of the U.S., crawls out of a cave somewhere to issue tapes saying, "I d-did it! I d-did it! Ha-Ha!"
Not a good platform--but then you never know. It's a funny world.
Bush agrees with Osama bin Ladden. He orders the slaughter of the thousands more Afghani villagers for having been commie-lovers, back in the day. Osama bin Ladden escapes like Robin Hood-d over the hills. Secretly, the plan to invade Iraq proceeds.
It is actually Osama bin Ladden's war plan for ending imperialism. Get 'em bogged d-down in Iraq. Ha-Ha!
Meanwhile, all kinds of suspicions arise about who actually sent the planes into the WTC and the Pentagon (MIHOP) or who let them (LIHOP). Candidates: Miami anti-Castro Cubans. D-Donald Rumsfeld. Israel. Boeing, Blackwater and Bechtel. (Follow the money.) And more.
Bush keeps saying, "Al Kidda, Al Kidda, Al Kidda," as cover for his and Osama's war plans in Iraq. But Saddam Hussein gets in there sometimes as being tight with Al Kidda, whom he loathes. "Al Kidda, Saddam, Al Kidda, Saddam, Al Kidda, Saddam"--Bush starts saying, the two d's kind of resonating, and the New York Times says it's a fasionable new New Yorky kind of lispy song, that's all the rage. dede-dede-de-wmd. Get it? The shock and awe rock.
That done, they turn to Iran. No Q's. No K's. No D's. That's a problem. But they soon figure it out. Al Kidda is IN Iran, and they have wmD'S, too.
Iran's worried about Israel and even more about Pakistan, which really do have de-de's. They float the meme that Israel d-did 9/11, and Pakistan is a d-d-dictatorship and has Al Kidda, which Iran has none of. No da-da's in Iran of any kind. Maybe some doodahs. But, hey, people with oil can doodah, right? And this is where the CIA gets its scuttlebutt on whose got what dede's, and what kiddas, and what sadada's--from surveilling Iran. Otherwise, they wouldn't have a clue, d-dude.
Osama bin Forgotten feels rejected. He blasts Iran for lying that Israel had the DD's to drop the Towers of Imperialism. 'I mean, really. They've got to be...um... kiDDing!' Those D's again. Drudging up everywhere. Droning up. Dribbling up. Dressing up. Doodahing up. DeDe. SaDDam. Al KiDDa. WMDa-Da. D-Donald. D-Doozie.
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