Air Force Seeks to Draft Accordion Player

[Khephra]

QUINCY, Mass. -- There's a great job out there awaiting an accordion player. The catch: Six weeks in boot camp. The Air Force has been looking to replace the accordion player of its band's Strolling Strings music ensemble since the musician retired two years ago. So far, the search has been fruitless.

"It is very hard to find the right person for this job, but it's a great job for the right person," said Chief Master Sgt. Jane Bockenek, the Strolling Strings' music director who plays the violin in the band.

So, since the accordion players aren't coming to the Air Force, the Air Force is going to the accordion players.

Bockenek is looking to recruit at the 66th annual American Accordionists Association festival, which is happening this week in and around Boston. She interviewed a half-dozen people Sunday and was scheduled to hear auditions on Monday.

http://www.newsday.com/news/politics/wire/sns-ap-military-accordions,0,2818575.story?coll=sns-ap-politics-headlines

[havocmom]

1. Goal: Play Lady of Spain until Osama gives up? (n/t)

[MaineDem]

4. Now I have to clean my screen

:D

[Ilsa]

15. How about this song:

OBL needs to hear a more contemporary piece, say, Aretha's "RESPECT" on accordion.

There isn't anything worse than hearing rock or soul played as elevator music.

[TahitiNut]

31. Anderson Cooper reads DU -- or one of his writers does

He just ended his show on the "accoridan player" story -- and he combined two jokes in this thread.
(1) Lady of Spain
(2) Torture (in lieu of waterboarding).

[Career Prole]

32. LMAO! Most excellent!

:yourock:

[Taylor Mason Powell]

2. Just ONE accordion player?

Hell, send them ALL there! Might be the one good thing to come out of this war. :-)

(Just kidding, all you accordion players! I love ya!)

[TahitiNut]

25. One for every "detention" camp --

... since the Geneva Conventions (in a major oversight) don't mention accordians as instruments of torture.

[PatGund]

26. To quote the far side cartoon:

"Welcome to Heaven, here's your harp"

"Welcome to Hell, here's your accordion".

(Full disclosure - I'm a harpist, so I'm a bit biased.....)

[Deb]

3. Calling Weird Al Yankovic ...

Your country needs you man!

[Khephra]

6. That's who I thought of when I first read this article too

Even if Al was a Republican (and I doubt he is), he's probably too wrecked from the tragic death of both of his parents to be worth anything to the Gov't.

Plus I think he's over 35.

[Dr Fate]

34. He is certainly over age- his 1st hit "My Bologna" was around 1980

..to the tune of The Knack's "My Sharona"...

OR- was his 1st hit the Queen parody- "Another One Rides the Bus"?

Either way, it was the very early 80's when he 1st came on the scene...

[alfredo]

5. We are Doomed! eom

[DS1]

7. Excuse my ignorance, but isn't an accordian... like... the most "French"

sounding instrument known to man?

[SheepyMcSheepster]

8. it will thus be called the "hand held freedom organ"!

:silly:

[DS1]

9. *snort* Exactly!

The Shiny Old-Europe Contaminator!!! BEHOLD!

[AlGore-08.com]

33. Smirk gets down on the hand held freedom organ!

America breathes a collective sigh of relief - - Smirk has indeed made us all safer.

[0007]

10. Gotta get some real whippy sounds like "Roll out the Barrel"

Gotta stimulate the patriots and junior supporters with those fast beat drinking songs.

[Gman]

11. Where's Flaco Jimenez when his country needs him?

[BrotherBuzz]

12. Ain't Myron Floren looking for a gig?

I understand he knows all the patrotic songs too.

[Ernesto]

13. I once sat by 2 USAF Lt. Cols. on a 3 hr flight.

When I mentioned that I had been a USMC Corporal in Vietnam, they assured me that their "jobs" were nothing like being in the military.... Near as I can tell, they were correct.

[mainer]

14. Is it time for some accordion jokes?

What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up the accordion.
-----------------

What's the difference between an accordion player and a dead skunk on the road?

The skunk had a gig to go to.

[central scrutinizer]

17. After parking his car,

a musician realized that he had left his accordion in the back seat with the window rolled down. In a blind panic, he rushed back to his car only to find that his worst fears had been realized. There were now two accordions in his back seat. <this was originally a bagpipe joke, but I figured, what the hell>

[Rayjay]

18. Accordian player and a Snail

are run over on the highway. How do you tell which is which?

Skid marks in front of the Snail.

[Canuckistanian]

22. What's the difference between an accordian and a trampoline

You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.

[knitter4democracy]

35. As seen on a bumper sticker

I'm pro-accordian and I vote!

[number6]

16. that'l solve everything

if we could just get some dang Accordion Players

[AlGore-08.com]

19. In America's darkest days, a new type of hero is needed

Judy Tenuta IS an army of one!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

20. Good luck, Jane...

It'd be easier if you all'd just hire a guitar player...

[stevedeshazer]

21. Okay, I admit it

I can play a little accordion.

I can play the Abu Ghraib Waltz and the Lynndie England Stomp.

Do I get to name my own price?

[kodi]

23. Stan Schmenge is their man!

[NashVegas]

24. Don't Nobody Tell Them About Brave Combo!

..

[Pepperbelly]

27. which asks ... what do you call an accordian player with a pager?

an optimist.

:D

[monchie]

28. Now wait a goldurned minute!!!

Ain't you folks ever heard of zydeco music? Clifton Chenier was the hippest accordion player of all time, with Buckwheat Zydeco close behind!

IMHO, the Air Force could use a little taste of that bluesy, foot-stompin', ass-wigglin' accordion music from La Louisiane (aka Louisiana).

[AlGore-08.com]

29. You can't get hipper than Master Sgt. Myron Floren!

I understand that he's real popular with the kids now days.

[stevedeshazer]

30. Woo-hoo!

And I thought that I wasa the only one who admired Myron!