The Rich, Religious, Gun-Toting Racist Party... I Mean, the GOP.

[evilkumquat]

A casual observer cannot help but notice that every Republican out there can be lumped into one of the following categories: the wealthy, the religious, the bigoted or a gun nut. As insane as it sounds, this means the Republican Party’s base is comprised of a group of people who would never want to be around each other ordinarily.

THE WEALTHY: What rich guy wants to be around religious people? Churches are always asking for donations, and the wealthy are generally loath to part with any cash if it can be helped. For this reason, people with money are seldom comfortable around guns because what better way is there to lose cash than via a guy waving a Saturday Night Special and shouting? Further, the rich tend to shower regularly, and those with good hygiene do not often choose to spend their time surrounded by inbred, slack-jawed hillbilly racists unable to reach twenty when counting their fingers, toes and teeth.

THE RELIGIOUS: True “Christians” (as opposed to those that merely use faith as a means to promote their own selfish agenda) have it under no lesser authority than the Bible itself that the rich are damned (something about a camel, the eye of a needle and how easy one goes inside the other). Jesus, who said “love thy neighbor”, has to be a hard pill for bigots to swallow since they are full of hate for everyone except members of their own narrow racial, religious or sexual orientation. Christians should also have a huge problem with guns since guns kill people, and killing people is the first thing banned by the Ten Commandments.

THE BIGOTED: Bigots are generally the byproduct of ignorance, which is usually caused by poverty, and name one poor person who loves the rich. True Christians are taught to love everyone, which runs counter to the core beliefs of the average bigot. Finally, in this country, blacks can buy guns as easily as whites, which would give even the Klan pause for thought if they decided to stage an impromptu rope party.

GUN NUTS: Gun nuts are just plain afraid of everyone else- rich, religious or bigoted. For evidence, look no further than the fact that these people argue for the legality of fully automatic assault rifles loaded with Teflon-coated bullets for taking down animals whose hides are thin enough that pointed sticks had been doing an adequate job for years.

How in the hell did a group of people like this decide to all join the same party?

More importantly, why in the hell are the Democrats constantly losing to a group of people like this?

[blm]

1. GOP's shame - The party of Chickenhawks and Robber Barons

.

[mcctatas]

2. Because...

they have God, Money, Guns and Hatred on thier side?? (or at least 3 out of 4).

[Mythsaje]

3. Which begs the question

which of these groups is NOT like the others?

[Initech]

4. These lyrics are an appropriate response

And if these words you do not heed
Your pocketbook just kinda might recede
When some man comes along and claims a godly need
He will clean you out right through your tweed

That's right, you asked for it, remember there is a big difference between kneeling down and bending over . . .

He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account . . .
All from those chumps who was
Born again
Oh yeah, oh yeah

He's got seven limousines
And a private plane . . .
All for the use of his
Special Friends
Oh yeah, oh yeah

He's got thousand-dollar suits
And a Wembley Tie . . .
Girls love to stroke it
While he's on the phone
Oh yeah, oh yeah

At the House of Representatives
He's a groovy guy . . .
When he Gives Thanks
He is not alone . . .

He is dealin'
He is really dealin'
IRS can't determine
Where The Hook is

It is easy with the Bible
To pretend that
You're in Show Biz
(And a-one, and a-two, and a . . . )

They won't get him
They will never get him
For the naughty stuff
That he did

It is best in cases like this
To pretend that
You are stupid
(DOH . . . )

He's got Presidential Help
All along the way
He says the grace
While the lawyers chew
Oh yeah
They sure do

And the Governors agree to say:
"He's a lovely man!"
He makes it easier for
Them to screw
All of you . . .
Yes, that's true!

'Cause he helps put The Fear of God
In the Common Man
Snatchin' up money
Everywhere he can
Oh yeah
Oh yeah

He's got twenty million dollars
In his Heavenly Bank Account
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
You ain't got nothin', people
Thank the man . . . oh yeah

As we end another broadcast day
Let me say
That you ain't got nothin'
And he's got it all
And your miserable self
Is against the wall
The only thing you have not tried
It's the sport of chumps
That's SUICIDE

- Heavenly Bank Account Frank Zappa

[queeg]

5. Whoa there buckaroo----

Let's not get too carried away----

Some of us are Gun-totin', Stars and bars wavin', downright Southern, liberal-elites.

So lets not say that just because I feel the need to own enough firepower to take out a brigade or two of marines (and their tanks and jets)---does not make me in any stretch of the imagination a Republican.


Wealthy--no,
Religious--well if polytheism counts
Bigot--no, I'll lend a rope or a gun to anyone willing to stand behind the barricade with me.
Gun-toting---hell yes---

Liberal-Elite and Damn proud of it.

[evilkumquat]

6. Don't Miss My Point

Which was that EVERY Republican falls into ONE of those categories in SOME degree.

Hell! I almost fall into the "rich" category since my family is upper middle class.

Pity I care too much for social justice, or I could have been a Republican, too.

Evil Kumquat
__________________________

PS. I loathe my own hypocrisy in being rabid with my support for the First Amendment but hating the Second.

[Erika]

7. I'm also upper middle class but I suffer from twinges

such as many families having no health care, and failing run down schools, and college costs so high that a caste system is in place.

By the way, we own five guns/rifles.

[NMMNG]

8. Then you have the Rethugs who fall into two or more of those categories

Jim Dobson and Pat Robertson, for example, are Rich and Bigoted.