<snip> But can such namby-pamby solutions really get to the root of the problem? Isn't it clear that there are just too many old people around, luxuriating in their assisted-living communities and expecting the government to support their statin and beta-blocker habits? Does no one have the courage to confront the longevity crisis head-on?
There are exceptions - a few Americans brave enough to try. Some credit should go to Burger King for its new "Enormous Omelet Sandwich," and to Hardee's for its "Monster Burger" (two one-third-pound patties.) Nor can we neglect the manufacturers of the various cardiovascularly compromising painkillers, such as Celebrex and Vioxx. In addition, Wyeth, the pharmaceutical company whose aggressively marketed hormone replacement therapy pill turned out to cause breast cancer and heart disease, deserves some retrospective recognition.
The longevity-fighting Purple Heart, though, goes to the Center for Consumer Freedom, funded by the tobacco and restaurant industries, which bravely battles restrictions on indoor smoking, repressive limits on blood-alcohol levels for drivers and the relentless liberal bad-mouthing of salt, fat, sugar and meat. And what has the CCF gotten for its efforts? A challenge to its tax-exempt status from Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.
Face it, nothing is really going to change until the federal government tackles the problem itself. It might start drafting 60-year-olds, for example, for a few months of service in the Iraqi desert. And what about transforming the Drug Enforcement Administration into the Diet Enforcement Administration, with the power to search drivers for stray bits of broccoli and tofu? <snip>
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