Cowboys Are My Weakness

[rodeodance]

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/01/opinion/01david.html?incamp=article_popular&pagewanted=print

January 1, 2006
Op-Ed Contributor

Cowboys Are My Weakness
By LARRY DAVID

SOMEBODY had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears.

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.

To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed. Another went on, "Oh, my God, you completely forget that it's two men. You in particular will love it.".......

[joeybee12]

1. Is this satire?

I have no clue--never watch his show.

[southpaw]

3. I'm guessing it's satire...

Wasn't Larry David the Co-writer of Seinfeld?

Sounds like it's aimed at all those straight men who seem to be terrified of this movie.

[rodeodance]

4. I do not know--it is an odd article to say the least. He seems concerned

that he will succumb to being gay if it can happen to a 'real' man like a cowboy!!


...... "Why me?"

"You just will, trust me."

But I don't trust him. If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance. When I walk into a store, clerks wrestle one another trying to get to me first. My wife won't let me watch infomercials because of all the junk I've ordered that's now piled up in the garage. My medicine cabinet is filled with vitamins and bald cures.

So who's to say I won't become enamored with the whole gay business? Let's face it, there is some appeal there. I know I've always gotten along great with men. I never once paced in my room rehearsing what to say before asking a guy if he wanted to go to the movies. And I generally don't pay for men, which of course is their most appealing attribute. ........

[sui generis]

2. "To my surprise"

Larry David wouldn't know a cowboy if one lassoed his ass.

He seems to be in love with a venerable idea, but people who keep that idea of unassailable masculinity inviolate are EXACTLY the kind of people who ARE homophobes.

I mean, if he doesn't want to see his stereotype of the cowboy sullied, no doubt he doesn't want to see his stereotype of the mincing hair product wearing step'n'fetching flaming queen sullied.

I'm not surprised at all - that's how we got here to start with.

[rodeodance]

5. "f two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb,"...

.....But I don't trust him. If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-resistance. When I walk into a store, clerks wrestle one another trying to get to me first. My wife won't let me watch infomercials because of all the junk I've ordered that's now piled up in the garage. My medicine cabinet is filled with vitamins and bald cures.

[sui generis]

6. damn you sarcasm smilie!!!!

wherefor art thou?