I wish I could take credit for this, but its from my local paper. Quite good.
I don’t understand the fuss about the President listening in on Americans’ phone calls. I fully support his policy. In fact “It’s about time” sums up my feelings. Anxious to do my part, I offer the following listening tips to help him out.
Mr. President, if my wife calls and tells me to get rid of the atom bombs in the back yard, please don’t worry. She’s just reminding me, in her charming way, that I’ve been remiss in my duties regarding cleaning up after the dogs.
If my friend from the South calls and tells me the oak trees have blown down, the dam has been breached and he’s heading to the roof and hoping for rescue, you should probably pay attention. There’s a security problem brewing.
If my neighbor calls and informs me that the pollution from my place is destroying her nerves, please don’t think that I’m in the WMD business. She simply wants me to turn down the music.
If my father-in-law calls and worries that, despite thirty years as a pharmacist, he can’t figure out this new prescription drug program, you might take note. I’m a little concerned when millions of seniors, and their boomer kids, start to get riled up.
If my son calls and tells me he’s “The Bomb” at school, there’s no need to reach for the orange alert button. He’s just telling me that he’s popular (or maybe unpopular, I’m not sure which) but he’s not planning any destruction.
If my ex-neighbor calls to check in, and tells me how he’s coping with losing his job, his benefits and his home, that might be evidence of a worrisome issue. If he continues that the only job he can find is serving cocktails to his ex-boss who got a multi-million dollar settlement for ruining the company, be very concerned. A diminishing and disgruntled middle class is dangerous.
If you hear my boss tell me that doomsday is near, don’t panic. He’s just coaching me in his thoroughly modern way that my project is past due. I’ll take this one; no need for you to call in the troops.
If my friend in the city calls and tells me that yet another child was killed by gunfire last night, please recognize that as a security problem. You might want to play this one back when the bullies from the NRA come to your next fund raiser with their ammo boxes full of cash.
My brother-in-law might call and chat about that new plastic stuff they’re putting in our shoes. Be not afraid. We’re merely referring to the latest jogging sneakers.
If my friend calls worrying about her daughter who’s recovering from wounds suffered in Iraq, listen hard. If the soldier can’t figure out why she was there, you have a problem. You know all too well what trouble can come from soldiers who serve in wars that they don’t support.
If my clergyman calls and reminds me that the essence of our faith is “Love thy neighbor” you might want to jot that down on your palm. Think of it as the first law of Homeland Security.
Go ahead and listen in, Mr. President. Listen and learn.
http://www.stltoday.com/blogs/news-letters-to-the-editor/2006/02/reasons-why-i-think-the-president-should-listen-to-my-phone-calls/
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