THE HAYDEN TESTIMONY THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO HEAR

[Don Davis]

While there was extensive coverage of General Hayden's CIA confirmation hearings, the following is a secret transcript from that portion of his Senate testimony that the mainstream media has refused to disclose:

Senator: Welcome, General. Do you have any opening remarks?

Hayden: Thank you, Senator. While you look impeccably dressed, as usual, you should have gone with the red tie, as your wife suggested this morning. It shows up much better on the surveillance tape, er, I mean, television.

Senator: General, I have grave concerns about your tenure at NSA, where you systematically ignored the FISA requirement for search warrants.

Hayden: That's funny, Senator. If I recall, you told your chief aide, just last week, that even Madison would have shit-canned the Fourth Amendment if the British had biological weapons.

Senator: General, how can you justify a program where there's no checks and balances on the Executive branch?

Hayden: Speaking of checks and balances, Senator, last time I looked, it was your checkbook that seemed a bit out of balance. Hope it wasn't any of those defense contractor "fringe benefits" that were throwing things out of whack.

Senator: Now, General, exactly where do we draw the line in this era of Big Brother run amok? Next thing you know, the NSA will have telescopic anal probes.

Hayden: Senator, if you look at the foot-high stack of papers before you, that's item #4922 in the proposed 2007 budget.

Senator: I'm also concerned that as a military man, you might just be a little too beholden to the Pentagon. Can you give us assurances you'll keep the CIA independent?

Hayden: If I may quote George Tenet, "that's a slam dunk."

Senator: Before we take a break, General, just one more question.

Hayden: I believe it's actually two questions, Senator, and the answers are one, I don't believe in the Fourth, and two, I take the Fifth.

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In other Congressional news, Senators Specter and Feingold apparently patched up their little tiff over the Gay Marriage Amendment, as evidenced by their warm embrace and Specter's patting of Feingold's ass.

[papau]

1. LOL - :-) - but too close to the truth n/t

n/t

[Loge23]

2. ..and the senator replied:

Where's the rubber stamp?

[underpants]

3. Very funny- a side note on Madison

paraphrasing Bill Maher's stand routine

"okay so Bush got a memo that said 'Bin Laden to attack inside the United States' in August of 2001 but they didn't do anything about it you know back in 1812 if someone had come up to James Madison and said, 'Mr. President the English fleet has left Porstmouth' Madison would have been running around saying 'HOLY SHIT THEY ARE GOING TO BE HERE IN THREE MONTHS!!! DON'T JUST SIT THERE! DO SOMETHING!!!'"