Deadlocked Supreme Court: 'Someone's Voting Twice'--Onion

[Demeter]

July 17, 2006 | Issue 42•29

WASHINGTON, DC- The Supreme Court's third 5-5 vote in the past month has some justices wondering whether one of their number is voting twice. "As the highest court in the land, it's vital that the Supreme Court observes the basic rule of one vote per justice, even if it's hard to pick a side," a spokesman for Chief Justice John Roberts said. "The court will begin again on Thursday in the usual fashion, writing votes for SCOTUS case 11816, People v. Padilla and Brown, on little slips of paper, placing them into the Supreme Court voting hat, and not peeking." Observers are calling this the worst breach of court procedure since Chief Justice Warren Burger temporarily moved the court to an Arlington, Virginia Red Lobster for the inaugural Lobsterfest in 1983.

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http://www.theonion.com/content/node/50611/print/

[sabbat hunter]

1. shouldnt this really be

in the DU lounge?

ah the onion. the bastion of satire it is awesome!

[baldguy]

2. Maybe they should bring Diebold in.

[AndyA]

4. Yes, let the Justices press a screen to register their vote, it's the

American way. Then Diebold can make the outcome whatever Bush wants it to be. What a relief for the Justices! They won't even have to think anymore!! They can just push the screen, it doesn't matter what they vote, and Diebold will do the rest. Off to the golf course, it will cut the time spent on the bench and in chambers by 50%!

:sarcasm:

[chaplainM]

5. I can't wait to see

...how the GOP would try to reconcile the Diebold results with the written opinions.

[fasttense]

3. They never were big on recounting, no matter how obvious the rigging.

So I guess they will have to stick with their last vote.