ROVE'S NEW ELECTORAL STRATEGY: DEFEAT THE COALITION OF THE 'WHEELING'

[Don Davis]

Although the Senate unanimously renewed the Voting Rights Act last week, the GOP is now preparing to launch an all-out offensive to deprive another minority of their right to vote.

In light of President Bush’s veto of a bill expanding federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, Republicans are expecting a record turnout of angry disabled people for the coming midterms, seeking revenge on the heartless Christian fascists.

Consequently, Karl Rove plans to remove handicapped ramps from all polling places, in favor of moats overlaid with narrow wooden planks, and to deploy captured IEDs from Iraq in the handicapped parking spaces. As a back-up plan, Rove has retained the Young Republican Club to plaster “Out of Order” signs on all of the handicapped stalls.

In addition, instead of poll taxes, literacy tests, and bogus demands for proof of residency — the usual schemes employed to derail the black vote — Rove plans to make voting contingent on passing the President’s Physical Fitness Test.

Speaking out strongly against this Macchiavellian plan was James Brady, former press spokesman for President Reagan, stating that he was now willing to drop his lifelong work on behalf of gun control, “in order to shoot that sonuvabitch Rove in the head.”

Also heading up the protest is famed physicist Stephen Hawking, who has threatened to throw Rove into a Black Hole, thus ending Mr. Turd Blossom’s “brief history in time.”

In related news, the Bush Administration, as part of their agenda to promote a “culture of life,” is proposing a bill to give the right to vote to frozen embryos, Terry Schiavo, and Ted Williams’ head.

[unblock]

1. i'd say this is hilarious, but please don't give them any ideas

oh, you're probably right, nothing there they haven't thought of already....

[peacetalksforall]

2. Why am I ashamed that I am laughing out loud? Brilliant! Because it is

sooooooo close to the truth?

[Don Davis]

3. Greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much for the compliment -- it's not easy to satirize folks who already have few if any limits.

[peacetalksforall]

4. You're right, never thought of it that way - limitless predators preying

minorities. I wouldn't be surprised - this is the way they think.
k & r

[Johnny Noshoes]

6. Thanks

Funny stuff - I just bookmarked your satire page so I can look it over in more detail. Even in these nasty times we need to laugh or we'd go mad :toast:

[yurbud]

5. hmmm...how many handicapped voters are there?

you might have a future as a GOP consultant.

[freesqueeze]

7. What are the odds that Rove could do 10 push ups?

I'd say some near impossible.

[Vidar]

8. Other than the source, I can't tell when it's satire anymore.