TOP TEN DEMANDS OF al-MALIKI

[Don Davis]

It’s been widely reported that Iraqi Prime Minister al-Maliki has asked Bush to pressure Israel to halt its attacks in Lebanon, and to allow U.S. soldiers in Iraq to be tried under Iraqi law. But as this reporter has learned, during Mr. al-Maliki’s controversial appearance before a Joint Session of Congress, he plans to present a much more comprehensive list of demands. Here then, are the Top Ten panaceas, from the Top Dog of the Shias:

10. U.S. troops suspected of abuse to be imprisoned in Abu Ghraib, and attacked by rabid goats.

9. Jewish members of coalition forces required to wear Star of David armband.

8. American soldiers must battle insurgents with bottom of shoes instead of assault rifles.

7. U.S. must erect statue of Donald Rumsfeld in Baghdad for locals to topple.

6. “God Bless You” after sneezes must be replaced by Allahu Akbar (God is Great).

5. Dispatch of Bill Frist to Iraq to diagnose victims of suicide bombings.

4. Female soldiers to be outfitted with camouflage burkas.

3. Iraqi army units to “stand down” in favor of Cub Scout troops.

2. 101st Airborne Division to be reassigned to Beirut – to fight Israelis.

1. Borrow Tom DeLay’s gerrymander plan — to get rid of Sunnis.

[hlthe2b]

1. Perhaps this is meant to be humorous...

Sadly, I've lost any sense of humor when it comes to the Iraqi (and ME) debacle.

[ShortnFiery]

2. Dark Satire ... I'm appreciative ...

It helps keep some of us sane ... even if it may be quirky and politically incorrect. :hi:

I may be non-typical for my husband says I'm certifiable for enjoying "Mind of Mencia." :shrug:

[MrTriumph]

3. Hey, Don. Keep your day job.

x

[mike_c]

4. sometimes satire isn't funny or effective....

Thud. That's what a lead balloon sounds like.