ACLU ENDORSES RACIAL PROFILING: ‘SCREEN RAFSANJANI, NOT DASANI’

[Don Davis]

In a stunning departure from its storied history as the nation’s foremost defender of civil liberties, the ACLU came out today with a strong endorsement of racial profiling at airports.

In a unanimous vote of its Executive Board, held in a conference room “liberally” stocked with bottles of Perrier and Evian, ACLU President Nadine Strossen explained that the airline’s new ban on carry-on liquids was simply unacceptable, since most of its members had never traveled for more than 2 minutes, let alone 2 hours, without bottled water.

“Put quite simply,” Ms. Strossen stated, “probable cause stops at the water’s edge.”

Another unlikely group of protestors against the airlines’ new strict policies was led by Al Sharpton, who gathered at New York’s JFK airport, shouting “No Justice, No Hair Grease.”

However, preliminary indications from the Department of Homeland Security are that the ban on liquids will not only remain in place, but may be extended to solids and gases as well.

The “gas ban” in particular brought howls of protest from the Indian Food Trade Association, who claimed that their members would be disproportionately affected by this rule, “another example of Indians being unfairly punished by the actions of Arabs.”

From his ranch in Crawford, President Bush weighed in on this controversy, stating that “the terrorists hate us for our thirst for freedom.” Bush also expressed regret that “history has repeated itself, as Poland Springs has once again become the victim of fascists.”

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

1. You might want to put some disclaimer on that, you know.

Because honestly, not funny.

[peacetalksforall]

2. As one who hasn't had to fly and doesn't want to fly until the Bush admin

is out of Washington - I thought it was funny. Whether funny to all, it is extremely clever. I'm smiling.

No matter how far this administration goes to surpass the USSR, we must keep poking them. We must laugh at the extremes they go to, how they present the crisis, their pretenses, the delivery by republican corporate networks, and the way they event fades away.

Laughing at the fall-out to the airline industry is not so easy to do.

I look forward to these 'reports'. Very clever.

[beyurslf]

3. If this is your original post, you might want to state it. Otherwise,

post a link so we can find its source and know it is satire. Thanks!