My Sinful Spanish Syntax

[question everything]

latimes.com

My Sinful Spanish Syntax

Why are people busting his chops for speaking imperfect Spanish in America?
By Gustavo Arellano
GUSTAVO ARELLANO is a staff writer with OC Weekly, where he writes the "¡Ask a Mexican!" column.

August 28, 2006

(snip)

I blame my parents. Not only did they teach me Mexican Spanish — long derided by Hispanic elites as the Spanish-language world's Eliza Doolittle — but mami y papi taught me the elision-heavy, singsong rhythms of their rural Mexican villages. They did this in Anaheim, and although our barrio was a de facto Mexican protectorate, I still had to attend American public schools, where the assimilationist claws of English ensnared yet another child of immigrants. My mother tongue suffered, yet Lorenzo and María Arellano never bothered to send off their firstborn to abuelita in Zacatecas or even bilingual education classes to improve his Spanish. Guess they enjoyed seeing me become American a bit much.

My double background of chúntaro (Mexican slang for a country bumpkin) and pocho (Mexican slang for an Americanized Mexican) left me with a Spanish dreadful to the ears but still intelligible — even the most illegal day-laborer can understand me. Yet critics harangue my Spanish at every opportunity. I'm used to the scoldings of aunts and uncles, but more surprising are the self-appointed custodians of Cervantes who invade my e-mail whenever I speak Spanish on-air. They especially went loco after my June 19 appearance on "The Colbert Report." My sin? I mispronounced the Spanish word for patience — pacencia instead of paciencia. Even after I explained to these Sancho Panzas that my parents drop vowels and consonants like Mexican stock futures, they still slandered me as if I was a brown Benedict Arnold.

Truthfully, I don't care. I understand the need for eloquent Spanish in certain professions — government translator, for instance, or head dishwasher at the Biltmore — but I'm an English-language columnist; it's my job to help Americans understand Mexicans, not to write the next "Don Quixote."

It's troubling, though, to know that some people actually get upset when a U.S.-born-and-bred Latino isn't fully fluent in Spanish. And it seems the vast majority of haters are Latinos (gabachos are too clueless to take notice). Immigrant parents admonish their children because they don't hablar español so well anymore; pochos love to harass one another on their Spanish deficiencies. Latinos beat one another like linguistic piñatas. It's all a waste of time. Really, what can Spanish mastery gain you in this country except the ability to speak with other Latinos and to use the word "mother" to curse in baroque ways?

(snip)

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-arellano28aug28,0,724679.story?coll=la-news-comment-opinions

[OffWithTheirHeads]

1. You just can't win.

I took six years of German at Lutheran private school. Can I use it at all? Hell no. I can't ask you for a beer, much less a Margarita. I can talk to you about some kid named Reiner who goes skiing. Lot of good that will do. My Spanish has all been acquired on the job, so to speak. I can get a beer, a Margarita, a shot of Tequila, get my ladder back, please, thank you, I'm sorry, go fuck yourself asshole, and on and on. European folks can usually speak several languages. The President of the U.S. can't even speak English. In my opinion, if you live in the United States (notice I didn't say America) and have even a vague familiarity with other languages, you are ahead of the rest of the xenophobes. If you can even speak Spanglish, you are way ahead of the average Murikan cause the average "murikan" can't even speak English properly, much less spell and punctuate. Sadly, most of us can't even hit the spell check button.

[unblock]

2. should be "mami e papi", not "mami y papi" :)

couldn't resist....

:evilgrin:

[question everything]

3. LOL (nt)

[Dogmudgeon]

4. The return of ... ¡El Exigente!

:evilgrin:

(That's a pretty handy emoticon, ¿No?)

--¡p!
El Pigüijón
(That's TWO accented characters.)

[Igel]

5. I think you're wrong.

'y' is the norm before all words not beginning with the vowel 'i'. E.g., Dios e iglesia.

I don't think the final vowel of the preceding word matters.

[Karenina]

6. That was great!

Thanks for posting it!!! :rofl: Why am I reminded of the girls from Gardena and my kids whom no one would suspect have mastered Japanese? :rofl: How do I mangle my second (actually fourth) language, let me count the ways!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

[MADem]

7. My favorite line: ...self-appointed custodians of Cervantes...!

As someone who speaks four languages poorly, and two only to the point where I can get directions to the bathroom and order some food, I can empathize!