How To Not Lose (Aid to dependent Republicans)

[IDemo]

Bill Cope
Boise Weekly
AUGUST 30, 2006

This may come as a shock to my regular readers, but there are people around who consider me to be one-sided. You know ... biased. Like I don't tell both sides of the story.

God only knows where they got that idea. Just because I believe everything about the modern Republican Party--from that black-souled fumble-tongue they jiggered into the presidency down to the least significant dingleberry in the Idaho Legislature--to be manifestations of the most hideous disease to ever afflict the American psyche ... why, heck, that doesn't make me one-sided. Far as I'm concerned, that just means I'm discerning.

But I will admit I have generated a lot of wordage trying to influence the nation's Democrats. I've even done several columns meant to suggest specific ways Democrats might slow this run-away bus and get themselves back into the driver's seat. There is little, if any, evidence anyone listened to me. But still, I suppose it could be construed as bias that I have lent my support to only one side.

So just to show how two-sided I can be, I am dedicating this column to saving Republicans. Yes sir, saving their diseased GOP fannies from a great disaster, that's what I'm up to. The way I see it, the Republican Party is teetering like a drunken frat boy on the lip of a mighty precipice. You could call that precipice "Iraq." You could call it "towering deficits" or "religious hysteria." In fact, there are actually several dozen things you might call this precipice, and all of them lead in the general direction of straight down. I'm here today to show their gormey, rotten little hearts the only alternative left to them. Other than over the edge, that is.

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