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A report issued today by a bi-partisan, independent panel — “The Errata Commission” — concluded that the Bush Administration is fighting a losing battle with “Errorism,” with no prospect for victory in sight.
Detailing the debacles of Iraq, Katrina, the federal budget deficit, the Medicare Drug Program, and problems with Iran and North Korea, the panel stated that the Bush Administration had made more errors than the 1962 Mets, and were about as agile in “picking up a ball and running with it as Bill Buckner.”
Continuing ad nauseam with the baseball metaphors that are so common among academics, the Commission also asserted that Bush should have been “given the hook” and replaced by a “relief President” in his very first year in office.
Things were so bad, the panel added, that the handbasket in which the United States is going to hell even has a gaping hole.
In addition, the Commission found that the Bush Administration wasn’t even capable of “staying the course,” since they keep veering onto the shoulder of the Middle East, where you hear those loud grating sounds of IEDs going off.
The panel concluded that the only solution to this mess is to send the entire Administration “over there, so they can’t hurt us over here.” When asked by the press if that meant Iraq, a Commission member replied, “perhaps, or maybe hell, if there’s really any difference.”
The panel’s final recommendation was that the Bush “Era of Bad Errors” not be commemorated by the usual Presidential library, but by a 1776-foot-tall eraser, to be known as the “Freedom From Bush Tower.”
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