Bill Mahr: "Hillary equals France"

[kskiska]

I hate to sink the GOP's toy boat, but it was the French who inspired the U.S. Constitution, a document written by geniuses so it could be followed by idiots.

By Bill Maher

New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word France. Like just calling something French is the ultimate argument winner. "Aw, you want a healthcare system that covers everybody and costs half as much? You mean like they have in France? What's there to say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and brilliantly executed war in Iraq?"

Earlier this year, the Boston Globe got hold of an internal campaign document from GOP contender Mitt Romney, and a recurring strategy was to tie Democrats to the hated French. It said, in the Machiavellian code of the election huckster, "Hillary equals France," and it envisioned bumper stickers that read, "First, not France."

Except for one thing: We're not first. America isn't ranked anywhere near first in anything except military might and snotty billionaires. The country that is ranked No. 1 in healthcare, for example, is France. The World Health Organization ranks America at 37 in the world -- not two, or five -- 37, in between Costa Rica and Slovenia, which are both years away from discovering dentistry.

(snip)

Maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. There is no Pierre Six-pack who can be fooled by childish wedge issues. And the electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with. Nor do they care about the candidate's private lives: In the current race, Ségolène Royal has four kids but never bothered to get married. And she's a socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him a liberal he immediately grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

The conservative candidate is married, but he and his wife live apart and lead separate lives. They aren't asked about it in the media, and the people are OK with it, for the same reason the people are OK with nude beaches: because they're not a nation of 6-year-olds who scream and giggle if they see pee-pee parts. They have weird ideas about privacy. They think it should be private. In France, everyone has a mistress. Even mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side says to the voters, "I'm no good at multitasking."

more…
http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2007/05/04/france/

[realisticphish]

1. a few points

I whole-heartedly agree with the spirit of the article, and I get sick and tired of France bashing. The people who call them "surrender monkeys," etc need to read up on not only the friggin Napoleanic Empire, but the millions and millions of men they lost in WWI, and the valient resistance during WWII (And France was only invaded because they believed, for some reason, that Hitler would never go through Belgium, and that the Maginot line would stop him). But I wanted to say something about the Constituion. Voltaire did say all men are created equal, but he detested the idea of democracy. He "would rather obey one lion, than 200 rats of (his own) species."

I would say John Locke had more of an impact than Voltaire, though of course Rousseau was important as well. So it's split between France and England. ;)

I liked the article otherwise; I didn't have a problem with anything else, I just wanted to bitch because I've been reading up on the Enlightenment. Back to Bill's wise words :D

[rpannier]

2. Good read

Thanks.

[Mojambo]

3. Classic Maher! Loved it

Pierre Six-pack...

LOL

[muntrv]

4. So this is why shrub doesn't want to rebuild New Orleans. It's a FRENCH

city.

[Erika]

5. K & R n/t

[mzmolly]

6. Great stuff.

K and R.

[ForeignSpectator]

7. reminds me of that "freedom fries"...

...crap that was another stroke of genius by * and friends.

And maybe I am mistaken but wasn't it France that helped win the War of Independence?

I bet Republicans neither know about that nor do they know that French Fries actually aren't French...

[Maven]

8. .

"In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him a liberal he immediately grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something."

Heh.

[MasonJar]

9. That is one fabulous read. Do yourself a favor and read the whole article.

Vive la France! If another GOPer becomes president in '08, I cannot think of a better place to spend my last years than in the great country. If you have never visited Paris, save up and do so. It is enchantingly beautiful. The French are great people. You can walk the entire city. The art and architecture are beyond description. And the Champs Elysee is magical.

[MasonJar]

10. One more comment which fits the aura of this piece. Do you remem-

ber a few of years back when our Stump and Blair and Chirac met to talk about economics, and Bush told Blair that it was no wonder that the French were having trouble with their economy because the French didn't have a word for "entrepreneur"? Tony Blair should have jumped ship then and there. W is the stupidest man alive.