Liar’s Primer

[Daveparts]

Having been a kid and now having been a parent I’m consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject of lying. There are certain ground rules followed by even the most accomplished of liars children, politicians, lawyers, newspaper editors everyone in the trade. First of all it’s never their fault they will never accept responsibility for anything associated with the calamity, “I wanted to be home on time Dad but I was riding with the guys and they promised me we’d be back on time.” Or “Senator I wasn’t aware of that policy I wasn’t at that meeting.”

To rise to the level of professional in the liars union you must prove yourself capable of obscuring the most obvious truth while extolling the virtues of most pointless fact. “Dad remember how you said that was a dangerous intersection? You were right!”

From the Associated Press,

{Home Sales Slow as Prices Decline
Washington – The pace of existing home sales slowed in the first quarter by almost 7 percent compared with a year ago, the National Association of Realtors said Tuesday.}

{In the latest indication of the housing market’s slow-down, the NAR said homes sales reached a 6.4 million annual rate, compared with 6.9 million in the same quarter of 2006}

“Dad remember all the times I drove your car without having an accident? Pretty good huh?”

{The report came on the same day that Realtytrac Inc., an industry research firm, said mortgage lenders foreclosed on 62 percent more U.S. homes in April than a year ago.
“We expect foreclosure activity to at least stay last year’s levels for the remainder of 2007, fueled by a combustible mix of risky loans taken out in the last few years}

The ability to mix facts is important facet in being a good liar, last year was a record year for home foreclosures and April of this year was up 62 percent over last year but good news! We expect it to stay at last year’s levels. I’m so relieved I was afraid it was going getting bad and besides this it’s your fault anyway! “Fueled by a combustible mix of risky loans taken out in the last few years” You took out risky loans! You can’ t expect the mortgage industry to take responsibility for the risky loans you took out!


“Your honor my client maintains the gunshot wounds were caused by the plaintiffs negligence in not handing over his wallet in compliance as requested and my client should not be held responsible for his negligent behavior.”

{Home prices are also still falling. The National median existing single-family home price in the first quarter was $212,300 down 1.8 percent from a year ago when the median price was $216,100}

Funny, when I was in school math problems involving subtraction the larger number was usually listed first. But the median family home lost $3,800 in value over the year but that is an average number. The average temperature on earth is around 62 degrees remember that if your ever in lost in the Artic or the Sahara desert it might become important.

{Regionally, existing home sale took the biggest hit in the West.} Ah the West, a liars best friend the generalization, who were you with when you had this accident! “You know Dad, the guys!” When they say “The West” you suppose the mean thinly populated Wyoming or Montana? Or do you suppose they mean California with 20 percent of the American population?

{Where the sales pace fell 11.9 percent to an annual rate 1.3 million units and the median home price was 1.8 percent below a year ago at $ 336,200.}

Got your calculator? They won’t even tell you how much they lost in “The West” but it was more than $3,800 more like $6050.00 on average times every home in “The West”

{Existing homes sales in the South fell 7.3 percent, In the Midwest, existing home sales fell 6.1 percent, The Northeast fared the best, with sales rising at a 1.2 percent annual rate.}

So home prices and sales fell in every region of the country save one, which was up by a whopping 1.2 percent, and they fared best! But wait their home prices fell there too down 2.5 percent. A median price of $ 268,900. or a loss of $6,722.00 per home and they fared best!

{As home prices slump, there has been a jump in the number of borrowers unable to meet higher payments and unable to sell there homes.
Realtytrac said foreclosures in April spiked to 147,708, compared to with 91,168 in 2006, as lenders moved to repossess one in every 783 homes. The April figure was 1 percent lower than in March, when foreclosures hit a two-year high.}

Once again it is the borrowers fault if they had relocated to Mexico or China when the plant closed all this could have been avoided. After all the economy is great except for Home Depot, Wal-Mart recording record losses but on average the economy is strong.

Our economy is on track to dispossesses one family out of every 783 homeowners this year. Or if we use the April number down 1 percent from March of 147,708 times 12 you get 1,772,500 American family’s out on the street this year with an average of four members per family is over seven million Americans in the street this year! And that’s if the numbers don’t go up! And the title of the article was Homes Sales Slow as Prices Decline! How would they have described Hurricane Katrina? New Orleanians Expand Water Front Properties as Celebration of Weather Festival Continues in Superdome!

How would they cover they tsunami in Indonesia? Hotel Occupancy Declines as Tourists Leave Suddenly Due to Wave Conditions. This article should be used in every beginners liars class held in this country from start to finish the goal was to twist and mangle the truth and to point the blame from those responsible and place it squarely on the victims. To tell the facts and figures in explicit detail and then to just drop in casually in the last paragraph “Oh yeah, by the way I wrecked your car and eight million Americans will lose their homes before Christmas.”