Seagull Republicans

[Tipring]

Seagull Republicans


Let's have a moment of silence for the poor folks of Minnesota out of concern for the troubles of late and coming troubles.

They have had bridge fall killing and injuring many and creating a traffic nightmare for hundreds of thousands for months to come. Arguably the Republican cutting of infrastructure bills involving taxes might be the blame. I read that some experts are blaming the bridge falling on pigeon poop. I think they were close but more appropriately it was most likely Republican poop.

Fast forward a few weeks and you find a very senior Republican Senator doing the Republican Hockey Pokey in the restroom of the state's premier Airport for one of Minnesota's finest and I guess by Craig's judgement one of the state’s best looking also. This airport restroom already noted as a great place to while away the hours on a layover with other men having gay anonymous sex on an obscure gay website. Now it is the cause of late night jokes and ridicule as it reflects badly on the whole state.

Now for the bad news and I am sure the Minnesotans are bracing for it. Soon Minneapolis-St Paul, (assuming they can get to St Paul) will be overrun with lecherous Republicans at the Republican National Convention. I can see it now, all the Bo Peep lusting diapered up (Hooker Vetter Delegation) prostitute chasers backed up by the gay prostitutes, (Jeff Gannon Delegation), followed by the Larry Craig (R. Id.) Tap Dancers (the Log Cabin Senators Delegation). As an added bonus, for the convenience of Conventioneers, none other than Congressman Mark Foley (R. Fl. Ret) will handle entertainment for the young Republican “Guy’s Night Out” by hosting it. Young Republican "Girls Night Out will be hosted by Sen. David “Hooker” Vetter (R. La), (who will be wearing 2 hats along with his diaper).

There will be entertainment for all, the Christian Right will have ample opportunity to not recognize their best friends in the local skin bars as young Minnesota blond Nordic girls strut their stuff, lap and otherwise. I understand there might be a fully automatic shoot off at one of the local firing ranges with tracers and all for the NRA crowd. Special recognition will be given to those older Republicans that got the most deferments during Vietnam while hawkishly cheering on the war in Iraq. An award will be given for the most creative deferment. My money will be on Dick Cheney.

No convention of such would be complete without President Bush telling the attentive conventioneers about all the "progress" the war in Iraq has had; progress will be mentioned at least 32 times and "stay the course" no less than 15. Only 4 “deer in the headlights” pauses are scheduled in this speech. Missing will be any reference to the 5732 dead (projected) and the 45000 wounded.

Yes, a fine time will be had for all and the wise in Minnesota will fly out as the Seagull Republicans fly in and visa versa. For those of you that do not know, a Seagull Republican flies in, does a lot of self righteous squawking and wing beating, eats and drinks everything in sight, defecates all over everything then flies out and leaves the mess for others to clean up.

May your hearts and prayers go out to the poor people of Minnesota to help them acquire the strength needed for the coming challenge.

[Burma Jones]

1. Welcome to DU

Good Post

[Ecumenist]

2. Welcome to DU!!

Right glad to meetcha!!:hi: Your first post is classic and I for one and deeply impressed!!

[Demeter]

3. I Can Offer Shelter For Up to 4 Minnesotans, If They Are All Good Friends

Here in Ann Arbor.

[Tipring]

4. answer to answer to Seagull

That is mighty good of you to be willing to take on refugee Missotians, be careful though your door knocker may be challenged.